To be peed off at parents who drop their children's off at birthday parties...

[AnnaLiza]

....instead of offering to help out!
It's not only about the child being able to cope without the parent. I do expect 11 year olds to be ok without the parents but how can it not occur to mums and dads that I may struggle to feed and look after a bunch of 15 kids when they sit down for food and cake?
I find it very rude that the parents just shoot off without even asking if I might need help. AIBU?

Not only is it normal for older children to go to parties alone ( as has been the case since the dawn of time) but also I'd have thought most parents would assume you didn't want a house load of at least 30 people if each invitee has one guardian with them - double the cost do food & add booze!

Ask some friends, even ask some parent of the 15 kids. Or just don't feel obliged to host such big parties. Easy.

Oh wow, you're being totally U! What a sap.

Ask in AVDANCE if your kids best friends mum or dad would stay an help, or you must have some friends?

You don't just randomly get parents staying to help when that wasn't the original plan.

Hahaha

Yes.i always expect to have to stay at a party for 11 year olds.

The hard time isn't about needing a hand, most people wouldn't mind helping out if they are asked. But if I drop a dc at a party I will often have arranged to do something else during that time - usually with one of the other dc.

Expecting people to book a section of their Saturday/Sunday around the possibility that the person organising the party might not have made any sensible arrangements is not really reasonable.

OP, do you just have the one child? How have you managed their parties in the past? Are you from the UK? What a shame the party was so stressful for you but I hope your DS had a lovely time anyway. I think that most mums drop and run because unless they've been specifically asked to stay, they would feel they're in the way of the host. Live and learn I guess - next year, three friends, pizza and a dvd...

A friend from anither country was impressed with how punctual British are: "There is a queue outside of our entrance door before the birthday party start time". I didn't have a heart to say it's not punctuality per se, it's free childcare.

YABU - parents are not mind readers.

You are even more unreasonable in not having expected the boys to take some responsibility for serving themselves. They are 11 not 4. They'll soon be off the secondary school (if not already there).

Yabvu if you can't cope dnt have a big party or rope in some help beforehand

By asking a few friends op if they can help before the party doh it's not rocket science.

When I had a party for dd I asked a couple f friends if they could help which they did

scottishmummy Do you stay at every party your DCs go to??

I had a party once where a child was left over at the end. He was about 12 and the party was at our home.
In the end - over an hour after the party finished and all the other boys had gone - I asked him if he wanted to phone to see if his parents were on their way. He called, talked a bit, then went back to trampolining. By this time DS1 was keen to come back in the house and his friend was still outside generally messing about. It was a bit odd but I didn't mind and he seemed perfectly happy, I told ds to be a good host.

I wandered over another half hour later when they still didn't arrive and asked 'are they coming or is something up? Do you need anything'
'they told me I'm not allowed home yet. They said to call again in a couple of hours'
I was torn between irritation, amusement and sympathy.

Scottishmummy is available for parties. Happy to help - a pm should do it
I bet she gets the children behave...

Op thought at 11 they are way passed pass the parcel and children's party food. Next time do pizza hut and cinema or bowling for a few friends

yes but they're young,IMO drop and go is rude
people should have checked op was ok
sounds ummm very lively

is this a joke?!

Oh Pag that has really amused me .

I wish I had the audacity! Life would be much more fun!

Sounds awful but there was a reason I took 5 dc to the cinema and a meal for ds' 9th. Past a certain age about 5 of them is all you can cope with or want to cope with unless you're a teacher.

TheDetective

Yes. I have always imagined that they had an afternoon and evening of acrobatic and energetic shagging.
I never asked because if they had just been to B&Q I would have been so let down

Sorry OP, YABU. If you want help you should ask before the party, from invitee parents who you are closest to. I doubt it would occur to anyone with a child over the age of 4 to stay at a party. Perhaps close friends would offer, but why on earth would you expect parents who don't know to offer? They would assume that if you needed help, you would have enlisted it from friends and family.

cottishmummy is available for parties. Happy to help - a pm should do it
I bet she gets the children behave...

she would skelp their behinds for them

scottishmummy parents dont really stay for 1 yr old parties especially an organised thing they really just drop kick and go

I guess I've managed previous parties with a bit of luck in the sense that either DH was present to help or other mums stayed voluntarily and gave me a hand. No I'm not British, that's why I asked on here because I wasn't sure what the etiquette is

11 yr olds jeez

I take it the kid went home in the end then .

You haven't got a new family member?!

really?vast majority parties I attend parents stay
it's a talkin point if they drop and go
I don't want the hassle of someone else snotty wean needing toilet,ate too much cake,or so and so pushed them

AnnaLiza

Honestly, people will be happy to help. Just ask so they can arrange it.

If I turned up and saw you hassled I probably couldn't stay anyway because by that time I would have told ds we were going to the cinema or swimming or something. If i am asked in advance I would make different arrangements.
Just ask people in advance.