To not want to buy back things I gave away for free?

[DinosaursOnASpaceship]

A few months ago I gave all of ds3s baby stuff away to a relative of exps (we were still together at the time). There was £100s worth of clothes and equipment (pram, swinging chair, moses basket, baby moniters, steriliser, all clothes up to 6 months) and it was all barely used. I gave it away because I didn't think I would be needing it again and I knew the person I gave it to would be grateful and get good use out of it.

About 4 weeks after giving it all away I found out I was unexpectantly pregnant.

I gave the stuff away not wanting it back, I wouldn't expect or ask for it back either. Once it's gone, it's gone. I've been on eBay and been saving up to replace everything.

It's up to her what she does with the stuff now she has finished with it but I really resent getting an email asking me if I want to buy some of it back from her.

I don't mind her selling it, it's coming up to Christmas and we all want to make some money but surely trying to sell things back to the person that gave thence to you is a bit off?

I wouldn't say anything to her - she's a lovely person, but won't be buying them back. I'd rather buy them from eBay etc than pay for the same thing twice.

The hell with being nice. I'd tell her, 'You've got a helluva cheek asking me to buy stuff I gave you! No, thanks.'

She's not lovely, she's a cheeky moo.

Just...

Honestly you MUST say something and get back the bits you want.

Just give her a list and don't mention anything about money, if she asks just laugh and say I can't buy what I've already bought then just take the stuff.

You have got to so this or your friendship will wither anyway as I'm sure you will start to feel resentful in time.

she is NOt a lovely person OP!

you are though :)

I've just told my DP, he went WHAT?! and his jaw dropped to the floor.

His words were, 'the fucking cheek'.

I think we're all in agreement that shes a tight cow and not a very good friend.

She needs offending imo.

Say you''ll.give her a fiver for the lot :)

Can't believe the brass on her!

SO RUDE
and I am usually 100% in the camp of things being given with no conditions!

I'm joing the cheeky fucker brigade. Not a friend. Get what you need back from her and bin instantly.

Say "yes please, I would like them returned - and the hire charge was £x a month. Of course if you'd like to keep them, that'll be £xxx."

Failing that, just say "karma..." And wait for it to bite her on the bum.

I had to leave and come back to this thread. I couldn't believe another human being could be so grasping! She is NOT a lovely person. Neither baby brain or age excuses this. She's just selfish and greedy, trying to make money out of your good nature. I don't care how hard up she thinks she is, this is just plain nasty.

Ask for your stuff back and never offer help of any kind ever again and I'd be tempted to charge her for any damages too. I'd also be very vocal with the wider family about what she's trying to do.

You sound lovely. Congratulations by the way!

She's not really what I'd call a friend although we get along fine. She is a relative of exps and since we split up I don't really see or speak to them much (although still get invited to parties and stuff so it's not like they are blanking me or anything, I'm still included in stuff).

I think I will send a message with the baby brain theme. I actually expected her to pass the stuff onto her sister (without making her to identifiable there are 5 sisters and 4 of them have either had babies in the last 6/7 months and 1 is still pregnant.) so the stuff has probably been shared by everyone and maybe the thought of where a lot of it came from has become diluted.

I am worried about upsetting her though as I'm pretty sure from things I've seen and heard that she has pnd and I remember having it myself after ds2 was born. Its awful and I would probably have completely dissolved if I'd have realised I'd accidentally offended someone even if it was just a mistake.

You could just say very innocently - "Oh yes, remind me, how much did you give me for the stuff in the first place, I can't remember now?", like its a genuine question.

Kinda PA but [shrug]

I've sent a message saying

"Hiya, thank you for the offer but I can't afford to buy anything at the moment. If you've finished with any of the baby items I gave you though I wouldnt mind having them back."

Plus a general how are you all bit.

You're a lot more polite than I would have been! But good text :)

I think she possibly has forgotten you gave her stuff. Maybe? Good text though.

Genuine at her cheek. Please (if you can) keep us updated though as I love to know how situations like this get resolved. Awkward things like this really get my juices flowing .

Quick, someone give her a . I am shocked OP.

Shocked, but some great suggestions on here.

Good on you sending that message.

good reply, so much more polite than what I would have written!
please update if there's a reply

Cannot believe the cheek of some people. Must be serious baby brain to forget 3 carloads of stuff!

Dinosaurs you must update us when she replies.

Are you sure your Exp didn't sell it to her and not tell you?