Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

You could not live quite comfortably on £280 a month. It is the minimum you would require to leech off the rest of us.
For now. Thankfully the rules are being tightened bit by bit to stop parasites such as yourself with no shame scamming the system designed for those in GENUINE need

Not true, after 13 weeks you are put on the work programme

So? I said after 13 weeks you can be required to attend a work programme.

What "caring duties" do you have that preclude f/t work?

And I agree that you are only being able to be so picky because your mother is bankrolling you. Presumably if you're her carer she doesn't work, so where is the money coming from to enable your sense of entitlement?

The panda has good advice!

I am a little hooked to reading the comments to try to get tips as to how to avoid bringing up such a young person.

Thankfully the rules are being tightened bit by bit to stop parasites such as yourself with no shame scamming the system designed for those in GENUINE need

Unfortunately the tightening of the rules is having a distressing impact on many in real need. All because of the mindset of selfish, grabby, arrogant little boys like this one.

My 3 year-old refused to get dressed this morning, and claimed he was too tired to walk down the stairs.

Clearly he is on the start of the slippery slope.

[Signs DS1 up for bootcamp asap]

I dont suppose that there is any point pointing out that Sir Colin Moynihan worked in a brewery, shovelling malt as a student, and that Lord Alan Sugar worked in a greengrocer and sold stuff out of the back of a knackered old van?

Or that my first job, 21 years ago, involved throwing sticky toy bugs at a wall for £2 an hour? 10 years later I qualified as a lawyer.

Don't get snippy with me; I certainly don't have a problem with benefits while studying. Scrapping the EMA was an outrage. My point is although I know many people in the system in real life, this is the first time I've felt really resentful.

I quite agree ilovesooty and I wasn't implying that the majority deserve such treatment.... Just the entitled parasites such as this little charmer
It's a real shame that they can't sort out a proper system which weeds out the scum without harming the genuine claimants. No idea what the solution is though?

Whoknowswhocares it's ok: knew you weren't implying that.

I don't know the solution either, but it's leeches like him who drive policy where genuine claimants end up suffering.

Golden you sound like a wally. My dh was 19 when we moved in together. He worked for a betting shop in a less salubrious part of town (Kilburn). Baby at 20, he got a different job, due to his good work history. He now earns £10k per month. In the meantime I have worked in nursing homes doing cleaning and kitchen help, I've worked in supermarkets serving people and learning humility.

I would work in any shop again, my dh would go back to betting shops, if we could anything is better than being too good for the worst job.

A lot of people might have jobs that you would like, but to get there have taken jobs that nobody would like.

Oh and my last job was a well paid banking job too. The experience I gained in service stood me well until I was working on a portfolio in trading and treasury. Really don't undermine those crappy jobs. They might not be fun at the time but they are valuable training. I think the most important lesson is 'how to deal with people' if you come across as nice and helpful it will further your interests.

I can feel a ban coming on!

You over entitled selfish little ARSEHOLE!!!!!!

I have read this thread and my blood and piss is well an truly boiled!!!!

Why the fuck should I be funding your "jobsearch" with my tax money?

There is plenty of jobs out there that you have deigned yourself above. Well guess what? I don't give a shit!!!

My youngest DSis is the same age is you. She is currently doing a 4yr degree and working at least 20hr a week in a call centre to support herself. She is living in Student digs which she is paying for herself as she does not qualify for ANY help!

She has worked every fucking day since leaving school, as well as being a carer for our GM who has vascular dementia!

So don't tell me there is no jobs! You just don't want to look for them, you lazy little arsehole!!!!!

FWIW, Dsis and me both live in Glasgow, a mere 55mins by train from Edinburgh, frequency of every 15mins, and there is plenty of jobs through here.

Also, when I was your age, I had a full time job in banking, my own flat, doing my degree and looking after DS1 single handedly.

Which was not so long ago

Vodka your little sister sounds amazing. Good luck to her.

She is amazing ilove.

It unfortunate that idiots like Goldeneye give young adults a bad name.

Apologies to all MNers for my rant above. OP son really fucked me off.

Vodka you might want to scroll back and see my rant. It is people like him that are making life next to impossible for people like your sister and my son :(

Unfortunately I know a few people like the OP son.

Its always excuses.

My DSis realised very quickly that you cannot pick and choose jobs. When she couldn't find paid work, she did voluntary work in a charity shop. She hasn't tried to find a job relating to her degree as she is realistic but she has bills to pay like us all and went out and found a job. It maybe a callcentre but it's money.

When I was 19, I struggled to juggle a child, a full time job and a degree but I managed it because I had to support myself and my son. I didn't have the bank of mummy and daddy to fund my lifestyle.

I may well employ someone with the right attitude but who wasn't that intelligent but I would NEVER employ someone if they had a BAD attitude, regardless of how intelligent they were.

goldeneyedog. You need to change your approach, stop being angry at the world and thinking you are too good to do things. You sound bitter.

WOW!

I think I need to walk away cause this thread has wound me up so much!!

You werent working for free, you were getting JSA and if you didnt like it then fine just dont expect the taxpayer to help you out!

JSA is not there to be worked for, none of the benefits are. I am classified as in need. To the person that said your sister cares for your Gran, why aren't you caring for her? If she's studying and younger than you then it should be you doing it. She doesn't qualify for help because she is a student and if you're a student you don't get benefits unless you are disabled, which is just plain wrong. If it were any of your husbands in this position and they were being sanctioned for things outwith their control and being made to go on these positions I can assure you that your approach to this would be different. Lets hope for your sake, that the work doesn't dry up one day. This is the last time I am responding to this thread. I am the son of the OP - I don't know what kind of idiot conspiracy theorist you are trying to be claiming I'm not. And all of you can get off your high horse about being "the taxpayer" - the tax rate is extremely low, taxes should be far higher for all of you upper middle class wankers in their 40s - It is not the same now as when you grew up, learn this for your children's sake.

Good grief.

Drop the attitude. You are not 'above' any job and until you understand that you don't deserve a penny of anybody's money, the taxpayers or your mothers.

Have just read the entire thread (sitting on my middle class, mid thirties, pregnant arse over here in Australia), and have come to the conclusion that this cannot be real! Surely there aren't really such entitled, disgustingly unpleasant adolescents out there? Yuk yuk yuk. Unfortunately, and I really never thought I'd say this, but this sort of attitude has made me well and truly glad to have left the uk, so that neither mine nor my husbands tax money ever again contributes to bank rolling self righteous, arrogant little wankers like the OP's son in his fruitless 'search' for work! And it really makes me so so sad to even think that way, as I really believe in the benefits system to support those who need it when truly in need.

This thread has also further inspired me to do everything in my power to ensure that if it takes every last breath in my body, I will never, ever let any of my four sons turn out like the op's son. They will grow up with humility, willingness, and a work ethic, and to want to be the best they can, and to understand that this takes bloody hard work, and never the easy route.

May need to hide this thread now, as it has utterly jaded my day.

The more I've read, the more like a Daily Mail reader I've become. Feeling sorry for your Mum as she knows she has planted the seeds of your entitled attitude in your head, she will be reaping the benefits for a while I think.

For those upthread worried the army is preying on youngsters in the Job Centre. In the 80's the armed forces were in attendance in schools on careers day, i assume they still are. It's a legitimate career, more dangerous than most others given the current situation, but still a job with excellent training and career progression, not all lead to the front line. If our children are in the job centres, it's because they're adults and able to make their own minds up. The nanny state seems to have slipped into our homes through the back door. Will we still be wiping their arses at 30? I hope not.

goldeneyeDog lose the attitude, you're unlikely to find work until you do. I wouldn't employ you, luckily as you won't get your hands dirty mechanics is unlikely to be in your repertoire. As a mother, if my either of my DS's had your entitled attitude, I'd feel I'd failed. Make your Mum proud pull your finger out and take the next available job, even if it's pot washing, you can continue your search for something better while working, it's not hard, the Internet is open 24/7 for job searches and you'll be earning while you hunt. Good luck.

Ahahahahahaha.
Well done.
Don't care if you are 'real' or your mum is 'real'.
Whatever is behind this is a prat.
Hope you had fun.

I am classified as in need,the only thing you are in need of is a kick in the pants to change your entitled attitude.

So much to comment on.

I am unsure thought how hr can justify using caring for his mother as a justification for not getting a fulltime job. Since hr believes caring for your own children isn't work, surely neither is caring for your own mother.
op you must be so proud of your son.

Do you see what his problem is? You said you don't make excuses for him in rl, but you lie on here for for him? Perhaps that's the problem.

golden you are coming across as a cock. When you have raise your own children you can have an opinion. There's a good boy.
as for the jobs why have you applied to pizza hut and co op when both sell alcohol?
I only know one Muslim who would mot work where alcohol is being served and he took any other work he could.
General opinion among my Muslim friends is that while they choose to not drink, that is not something they impose on others. Others are free to do as they wish.

Why don't you give us a list of jobs you will do?