Well AIBU

[KelperRose]

Im ask­ing for advice and opin­ions on how you would han­dle this sit­u­a­tion

My son, 19, left col­lege ear­lier this year and even­tu­ally signed on at the end of August when the casual work he had at his Uncles café dried up and all his job appli­ca­tions were unsuc­cess­ful

Since then he has been sanc­tioned twice (once for being 3 mins late to a group ses­sion at no fault of his own , but which I think fuelled his atti­tude ?of you have treated me unfairly so why should I respect you ?atti­tude?

They then after the sanc­tion rec­om­mended him for ?a work place­ment? and he went to the com­pany (JHP) for an ini­tial inter­view and the guy there told him your here and you?ve been put on a work place­ment ?as a pun­ish­ment?

He, rightly or wrongly walked out and said some­thing along the lines ?being pun­ished for being 3 mins late to a group who?s best advice on how to find a job was ?look on the inter­net for vacan­cies?

He also asked ?if? work place­ments were the great gov­ern­ment scheme to help peo­ple into work why are you admit­ting you are putting me on this for pun­ish­ment (his think­ing here was if he hadn?t been 3 mins late he would not have been referred for a work place­ment)

. he also asked ?If I go and stick price labels on stuff at the back of a char­ity shop for a month do you really think I?d put that on my CV when I have skills and qual­i­fi­ca­tions already , what does that say about me other than I was unem­ployed and put on a workscheme?

They then sanc­tioned his job seek­ers again.?.then sus­pended it indef­i­nitely . Then sent him p45 form say­ing he was obvi­ously not enti­tled to JSA as he did not want a job!!!!!!

We now have Alas­dair Dar­ling MP , and Andrew Burns leader of the Edin­burgh coun­cil involved too but , but this is my point.?.?.?.?.?.?.?

I cre­ated in part his atti­tude towards the DWP, Job Cen­tres and work place­ments so should I just suck it up and con­tinue pay­ing for him (food, travel, roof over his head, clothes, hob­bies etc) or should should I say .?..you?re unem­ployed and until you get the means to sup­port your­self your going have to suck it up and play ball with what­ever they want you to do for £56 a week

I?d really appre­ci­ate some views , thanks coz I?m torn between going ?gonna my son It is shit, it wrong and I?ll sup­port you? and ?Well you need to stand on your two feet

Indeed, no crap will be taken!

The bloody hard work, determination and daily grind might well be a bit of a stretch though

honeytea I'm sure she's proud of his integrity and not being bossed around. It's incredibly depressing how people keep themselves down. generation after generation.

My son is an overprivileged little git in the opinions of many. Attends one of the UK's most elite schools, lives a comfortable life in which he is loved and pandered to. However at nearly 18 and in the U6 he has done the following:

16 - spent a summer caddying - getting up at 6am and being at the course by 7am - two rounds a morning and often earning £100+ by 2pm.

17 - when he wasn't caddying, he did the equivalent of three weeks childcare for 11 year old twin boys at £70 per day and has had plenty of offers from other families as a result.

From 16 on he has had a good babysitting round and sits about twice a month (could sit about 10 times but school work and his own social life prevail) and pulls down about £50-£60ish from it.

In the hols does the odd bit of caddying still.

Has done six days in a local charity shop as part of the school based work experience and thoroughly enjoyed it (apart from the fleas).

Natural grafter and nice with it. If he doesn't think he's above menial stuff then I really don't see why others would. I am pretty sure he will be happy to do a summer on the "bins" or on a building site to earn some money and wanted to join the TA but pressures of school work have made him have a rethink for the time being.

The day after the London riots he went down to Clapham with a few mates to help tidy up.

Those who think they are above work really need to get real. His father and I did all sorts of menial jobs as teenagers; our work ethic is what has provided our dc with the privileges they have.

You are allowed to only apply for 3 fields
So... the JSA officers would actively prevent you applying for a job outside your "chosen" (!) fields, have I got that right?
Who knew.

• That is true actually, I don't agree it with it either.

"And because JSA exists I am allowed to choose what jobs I want

Only for a very limited period of time. And after 13 weeks they can require you to attend a work programme.

Oh...and in order to be eligible for JSA you have to be available for work 40 hours a week. I don't see how that fits in with your desire only to do p/t work."

• Not true, after 13 weeks you are put on the work programme which requires you to attend meetings with partners such as A4E, all that is an appointment a month with them, I know someone on it. After 1 and a half years they can put you on force labour for 25 weeks.

• And you do not have to be available for 40 hours, you have to be available for 16 hours minimum, my agreement is 21 hours maximum.

Why only 21 hours a week?

Oh my god. What a loser.

@Marriedinwhite, he'll have done those jobs because he wanted money - I don't live extravagantly and I could live quite comfortably on about £70 a week with a job, I really do not need 40 hours work a week for what I want to do.

mrskeithrichards Fri 09-Nov-12 22:43:05
Why only 21 hours a week?

Because of my caring duties.

I shouldn't even be on JSA - I should be on income support and carer's allowance but because of how long everything takes to process I have to claim JSA.

What caring? Have I missed something?

Anyhow, you've lost it haven't you.

Now why don't you stop whining at how unfair it all is and do something for yourself. Get back into education, get a labouring job, move to Abderdeen.

Perhaps his efforts are better directed setting something up business wise for himself than getting Argo with 'the system'. We can get annoyed with the attitude, but sometimes, with the right direction, people can get on. Wish I'd done it sooner. I never claimed benefits but am first to admit that I was best off going solo in business due to personality. In these times more entrepreneurs should be in the making.....

Integrity is all very well and good but if your morals include taking money for free but not being willing to do volentry work for free, thinking all "workies" are thick and telling women that looking after their own children is not work then the fact that he has the integrity to uphold these morals in unfortunate.

£280 a month in Edinburgh. Yeah right. Wouldn't even pay rent on a room in a shared flat. Never mind bills. I'm assuming you'd still be having your mother support you. Great ambition.

You little idiot, you can only live on £70 quid a week because you're bankrolled by mum and the tax payer.
I work with long term unemployed and live in an area of great deprivation where sometimes it seems as if everyone is claiming benefits, and I have never begrudged it before now as I've always believed its a safety net I or anyone I love could need one day.
Thank you for educating me.

So what is it you actually want to do?

mrskeithrichards I think he wants to become kung foo panda.

DD would bloody love it if I was Kung Fu Panda. That made me laugh like a drain, honeytea :)

Wtf emoticon FAIL!!!

My dh is even laughing at that one honeytea

Add message | Report | Message poster honeytea Fri 09-Nov-12 22:55:31
mrskeithrichards I think he wants to become kung foo panda.

You called?

I am not going to move to Aberdeen, you have missed something - I was declared ineligible for work because of being a carer by an advisor at the Job Centre however I have since reclaimed and have a restricted agreement. At £280 I would qualify to have my rent paid and get working tax credits so yes I could quite comfortably live on that without living with my Mum.

"helpyourself Fri 09-Nov-12 22:52:41
You little idiot, you can only live on £70 quid a week because you're bankrolled by mum and the tax payer.
I work with long term unemployed and live in an area of great deprivation where sometimes it seems as if everyone is claiming benefits, and I have never begrudged it before now as I've always believed its a safety net I or anyone I love could need one day.
Thank you for educating me."

I was on SAAS which is the same amount of money before hand, have you got a problem with people getting paid to attend college ? I worked through that AND got SAAS.

I don't know why everyone is bothering with the OP or her son, if that is who he really is.

The OP has ignored most suggestions and come back to some perfectly reasonable questions with snarky comments. Her son has bitched and whinged and ignored all suggestions.

Clearly they don't need Mumsnet's crap advice - I'm sure they'll do just fine on their own.

Because it's worked out so well so far.....