To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

I have an 'accessorised' disability (ahem) and DS has an invisible disability... Here's the benefit of my experience; the 2 of us taking 2 chairs in a not very well supplied waiting area (hospital - tsk!) and another person comes along, older and very tutty. I said "would you like a seat?" "Oh," said miserable old sod, "thank you." Old sod makes a bee line towards DS to get his seat so I said, with mobility aid in my hand "No, have mine. His need is far greater and this one's really not comfortable anyway." Miserable old sod then had no choice but to take the uncomfortable seat after all the song and dance.

Haven't finished thread yet but I would never ask for a seat if I didn't really need one. Even when I was pregnant and huge I would only sit down if someone offered, as I was too much of a wimp to ask.

However. I am now awaiting a diagnosis of what is classed as an invisible disability (ME) and find it very hard to stand for more than a couple of minutes - that's if I can make it to a pharmacy at all. I don't know if I'd feel able to ask for a seat, because I don't actually look ill. People might think I am being rude.

I get the bus when I am able to work, and I do wonder if people think I'm rude for not standing to offer elderly passengers seats. I am 25 BTW.

I feel like I need a badge or something.

Anyway, in answer tonOPs original question: YAB(thoroughly bloody)U

I havent read the other responses but YABU! Would you have asked another adult? Are you able bodied? The implication is that just because they are children, you somehow 'trump' them? That's bad manners on your part I think.

fuzzpig I agree about the pregnancy part, I am six months pregnant and I still stand up on the bus or train if there's no seats available, it's not as if I'm a delicate precious flower who can't stand for 10 minutes just because I'm up the duff.

Oh, fuzzpig
If the diagnosis is what you think it might be - total sympathy. But get used to asking for help because even with my fashionable and glorious mobility accessory some nasty bastards still treat you like you're ruining their lives by being in their way. Sorry!

RuleBritannia - if you don't think children are second class citizens why do you think you have the right to tell a parent to move their child so you can sit there instead?

The reason I would ask a parent with a small child if I really needed it would be to do with the fact that it is easier to put a small child on your lap than a burly 55yo- nothing to do with second class citizens at all. But only works if parent has a seat, which I gather was not the case here.

I haven't read all 15 [!] pages but I was thinking YABU probably.

Particularly if they were young children. Mother probably wanted them placed where she could keep an eye on them whilst she shopped or went to the counter. Also so they wouldn't get lost in the crowd or handle the merchandise.

Also, it may have been that the children were tired or unwell.

I do however think it is polite for an older child [ie 10 years or older] to stand up for an adult. But I wouldn't insist on it.

I don't think that adults should automatically get priority in this way as if children are second class citizens. I know it was the done thing in my grandparents and parents generation but I am happy to leave this unpleasant little tradition back there, along with smacking and children being seen and not heard.

fuzzpig - I'm 28 and have ME and know how you feel. Its frustrating because I would love to stand for people but often can't and hate the fact that people might think I am being rude when I'm not. I've not had the courage yet to ask for a seat, but then luckily the sutuations never got to the point where I've had to. That said I've had a few people stand for me so perhaps when I am that exhausted its obvious I'm exhausted even if the underlying reason isn't obvious. I think thats what makes me annoyed with this thread though as children can get invisible disabilites including ME and to assume they are being rude to not stand really infuriates me.
Hope your ME improves, I would now class mine as mild thankfully although it has been worse at times. My mothers had it badly since I was 13 so if you ever want support or someone to moan to feel free to PM me

Pensioner?

I think that the op is bvvvu, I was born in the 80's I don't understand those posters insinuating that those born in the 60's 70's are more polite than those born in the 80's 90's, those of us in our 20's had parents probably born in the 50's and 60's are you saying that that generation were shot parents and brought up impolite kids?

I don't really understand this popular equation 'older people deserve respect BECAUSE they're older'. Billy Connolly once said of this 'young bastards turn into old bastards' ...and the opposite would be 'lovely young people turn into lovely old people'. Respect is about behaviour, not about years. I think the kids were showing respect by sitting quietly. I think you were rude, OP. Neither sitting quietly not being rude have anything to do with age and so age should not equate with respect. Decency and politeness should equate with respect. The children seemed to be demonstrating these positive characteristics. You, not so much.

.

It is not about respect. What is the obsession with this word? It is about courtesy.

Don't disrespect the word respect! Where is your farking respect?

I'm going to bring Phil Mitchell in on this to bring down a curtain of fire upon your car lots.

I was once in a busy bus station me and my ds 3/4 yo at the time were sat on the seat waiting for the bus all the other seats were taken by people of various ages. Anyway an old man came up stood in front of my sons seat tapped it with his walking stick and said move then i need to sit there i looked at the old man before i could say anything he said very loudly if he was mine i would have slapped him for not jumping up to let an older person sit down. This really riled me as if he had given me a chance i was going to sit ds on my knee to allow him to sit down. I didnt make my ds move and the man sat away from the stop.

YABU OP, what a strange attitude.

I wouldn't ask for a seat but I would judge.

I would never let my children occupy a seat if there was an adult standing, it's just bad manners.

At the end of the day, everyone, whether adult or child, should try to show courtesy to others. You cannot judge any individual circumstance though - was the repeat prescription for the mother or one of the children? If a child is on regular medication they may have a condition which made sitting down a sensible thing to do. Mother may not wish to share her childs' private medical history with a stranger.

On the other hand, the children may have been tired, and at 2 and 4 they are two young to be expected to offer seats off their own bat. The mother may therefore have wanted them to rest if no-one else wanted the seat.

Ideally older children should think of others, but this doesn't always happen (DS2 has Aspergers, and struggles to think outside the box - and if he did offer he would probably cause offence by saying something like, "Do you want to sit down, because you are really old?").

Neither mother or children were rude IMO, they moved when requested to by a fit and healthy adult.

But the point is why is is considered bad manners for a small child (or depending on the age, its parent) to remain where they were?

All I can garner from the 'YANBU-ers' on this thread seems to be the rationale for the belief stems from a 'because I say so' mentality, which, frankly, is neither a reason nor a defence.

Surely, demanding/expecting a seat from an individual that is smaller and weaker than you, is at best discourteous and at worse does have a slight whiff of, erm, possible bullying.

Me too but not for a fit & healthy mid 30s lady.

Nope!