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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

722 replies

CandyLoo · 08/11/2012 13:32

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

OP posts:
harbingerofdoom · 09/11/2012 22:22

I havn't waded through all the 13 pages:life is too short. Children-unless they are ill should get up ie bum off seat for elderly people.
AND IF AN OLD PERSON FALLS YOU SHOULD NOT LOOK AWAY

Tincletoes · 09/11/2012 22:27

To me it's all quite a grey area really and tbh if it had been me, I'd probably have had them sharing a chair anyway. I'd have them made them hop off for loads of people - someone significantly older, pregnant, disabled, someone obviously ill or in discomfort. I wouldn't have done the same for a 20 year old bloke or for the OP - and thinking about it, that's mainly because I would never expect anyone to be standing up so that I could sit down (I am basically the same age). Tbh I am still impressed the mum got her 2 to sit still for any length of time!

Tincletoes · 09/11/2012 22:29

Harbinger, I don't think there has been 1 single post saying they wouldn't get their kids to stand for an old person. However the op is 38 and healthy which makes a big difference in my book.

InNeedOfBrandy · 09/11/2012 22:29

Adults are deserving of respect from children because of the adults' (usually vastly) greater life experience; their knowledge and judgement; and their efforts and contributions to society.

Do you feel adults who have been on benefits all their lives should also get up and offer their seat to middle aged women because they haven't paid as much tax as some one who "contributes" to society?

saintlyjimjams · 09/11/2012 22:33

Is that a serious post or a piss take?

Tax? Benefits? You forgot to mention motability cars.

mymatemax · 09/11/2012 22:43

Ineed, what a stupid statement!

mymatemax · 09/11/2012 22:45

& contribution to society is not measurable on financial terms alone

InNeedOfBrandy · 09/11/2012 22:47

I wouldn't even make my goat move for some of you.

mymatemax · 09/11/2012 22:58

classy

harbingerofdoom · 09/11/2012 22:59

No,but he fell on a bus and nobody helped.

Wallison · 09/11/2012 23:13

I hope you aren't saying that your goat is more deserving of respect that mumsnetters because that is akin to slavery - it's just another one of those isms - ageism, sexism, racism, goatism etc.

PickledFanjoCat · 09/11/2012 23:16

Oh god this is getting worse!

My goat brings his own portable stool. He would stand for max though!

Mollydoggerson · 09/11/2012 23:19

The OP is 38 {throws eyes to heaven}.

OP YABU.

Tincletoes · 09/11/2012 23:23

Harbinger, that is utterly disgraceful and I'm really sorry. I really am.

ChicMama25 · 09/11/2012 23:24

YANBU. Interesting how divided the responses are! If neither OP nor the kids have medical conditions, is reasonable for kids to stand, it is not on a bus or anything , of course it's fine to just ASK! Way too many mollycoddling parents these days! Of course if kids were ill or tired and I was their mum I would say so sorry but my kids are really exhausted or sty to that effect. I feel guilty when adults are standing and my dd who would rather be messing about anyway is taking up a seat. "They were there first" is ridiculous!

MrsBramStoker · 09/11/2012 23:25

Who cares?

Mollydoggerson · 09/11/2012 23:40

Kids are growing, their bodies are prob under the same pressure as pregnant women. Why should they stand in deference to a healthy young adult?

mymatemax · 09/11/2012 23:44

thank you pickledfanjo, my faith in humanity is restored

InNeedOfBrandy · 09/11/2012 23:46

My goat has class, he would give up his seat for a child.

brdgrl · 10/11/2012 00:04

I would make DD give up her seat for the goat.

Wallison · 10/11/2012 00:09

I would fuck the goat, kill it and then push all of your kids off their seats.

InNeedOfBrandy · 10/11/2012 00:19

Yeah physical assault on minors goes down great in court.

My goat would bite any random children jumping out of seats when they should be sat down.

extrachristmaspresent · 10/11/2012 00:40

Ha this has just cheered me right up!!! I'm sorry for laughing x a tad unreasonable yes I'm afraid. The two year old and four year old were probably more tired and fed up than you, why should they move for you? X

eatingrottenapples · 10/11/2012 01:01

It takes 30 mins to walk to the nearest surgery so my 3yr would need a sit down. But I would offer my seat up if I thought you needed it. But if it's a case of you just wanting a seat and not needing it, what makes you more special than anyone else, regardless of age?

merrymouse · 10/11/2012 06:47

Having thought about it, I would not be asking the 2 and 4 year old to give up their seat.

The OP has said "I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it." She is therefore a braver person than I. Having occupied the seat, she then had to judge whether every single person who entered the surgery was older and more infirm than her, and risk making a mistake, or suffer the embarrassment of being prompted to give up her seat.

Also, you'd have to be pretty sure that neither of the children were ill (as mentioned before), and you can't tell just by looking.

Frankly, (assuming good health on the part of the sitter) with so few seats and so many people in the pharmacy the whole sitting business is fraught with potential social trauma. I'd rather stand.