To have asked a 4 year old and 2 year old to let me sit down in the Doctors pharmacy?

[CandyLoo]

At a small, tightly packed, busy pharmacy opposite Doctors surgery.
3 chairs (barely any standing room).
A lady, and the 2 children taking up the 3 chairs.
2 children not ill, in there with their Mum collecting a prescription.
No free chairs, I asked if I could sit in one of the chairs.
Mum moved one of her children, the other moved to stand with her sister.
Mutterings from the lady next to me, and when she left, said rather pointedly to the child, 'Here you are love, sit in my seat'. They left soon after.
By this stage, the pharmacy was very busy, I have no qualms giving up my seat to anyone older than me or simply if anyone needs it.
AIBU? The lady sitting next to me obviously thought I was, rude comments about me to her husband when she was outside.

YEAH MOTHERFUCKER!

I think, in a crowded shop, it is probably more useful to have a 2 and 4 year old sitting than a healthy adult who didn't need a seat. So although I would probably made my children offer a seat if I were the mother involved, I think YABU - unless you have some hidden disability / illness you have not mentioned

I did ask two slightly larger children to stand yesterday, but they were in a shoe shop and rolling around on the only place where I could try on the shoes I wanted to buy. I did sort of perch on the end so there was room for them to sit if they wanted to sit, not roll. I wonder what the Mumsnet jury think about that?

I think YABU! My two DC get told by me to sit down and move on pain of death when I am doing something like waiting for a prescription with them. My DD has ADHD and the option is for her to run riot, taking the oportunity to do so while my back is turned for a second and for her brother to copy her.

If you had asked them to move I would have took one look at you, seen you were perfectly able to stand (you lazy mare) and told them to stay put!!

AND you would have to respect me, because I'm older than you!! (whether I earn that respect or not).

@ phil mitchell

Actually thats a good point. If we were on the sqaure we would have to respec' Phil Mitchell as he is older than us.

If I was in the Caff, would I have to give my seat up for Phil Mitchell, despite him being a horrible prickly red faced meth snortin' booze sniffin' murderer?

He isn't older than me although the actor playing him is

Dilemma.

You were so rude OP. good thread though!

"If I was in the Caff, would I have to give my seat up for Phil Mitchell, despite him being a horrible prickly red faced meth snortin' booze sniffin' murderer?"

He's a MURDERER?!

Who has he murderised?

Mum was already standing MrsD so OP wouldn't have benefitted

As soon as my children were out of their buggies they knew to move for an adult if there were not enough chairs to go round. When very small it meant budging up onto one seat, now 5 & 7 it means standing.

The OP asked politely if she could sit down. I don't see any rudeness or sense of entitlement in that.

I think it's entirely different on a bus or tube. I'd give my seat up if I saw a Mum struggling with a child in her arms or struggling to keep a toddler upright.

I think we should all treat random strangers with respect as fellow human beings and bring our DC up to do the same.

It took a few reads for me to understand sat down was random lady and DC 2 and 4 and DC's mother was standing.

Mother moved one DC when OP asked other DC moved to be with family rather than continue sitting with two strangers - given ages not that surprising.

I can't see the DC or mother behaved badly.

The random ladies comments and actions upset the OP.

Whether that was random ladies reaction to OP rudeness or whether OP was reasonable in tone and random lady has strong opposing views about DC sitting and not ever giving seats to adults ? it?s not possible to discern.

God.

Have just actually read further than page 2 and this thread was nuts even before the repeat prescription confusion interlude on page 4. My brain hurts.

What is this country coming to? When I lived in a paper bag was young, children were all taught that it was good manners to stand up for an older person (didn't have to be 'old' just 'older'). These days, people complain that there is no respect any more from chidlren towards adults and why? Because their parents do not teach them basics. Even basics like how to hold a knife and fork, to cover their mouths when yawning, coughing and to keep mouth closed (with lips together) when eating something (anything).

Giving up a seat to an older person is polite and is noticed. We think better of those who are mannerly than those who are not.

'you assume that someone aged 50 has done more to earn your respect than someone aged 2. Thats the whole point of having manners.
Isn't that obvious?'

Er, no! Why do some of you think that because 'I was taught' to do this it must automatically be correct??

Bups He torched Franks car lot and burned a tramp to death!

(I had to wikipedia that. he has been a very norty boy)

Oh God I forgot that he dun that.

He is a bad man who looks like a boiled ham with eyes.

YABU. In general, I think young people should give up their seats for older people or others who might need a seat. But the age of everyone concerned is relevant in this scenario. It would have been polite and respectful (yes, that is a perfectly acceptable word to use) for a hulking great 12-year-old to offer his seat to a frail 70-year-old. But a perfectly healthy 38-year-old asking a teeny-tiny 2-year-old to move? Unreasonable.

Is this perhaps a reverse AIBU?

RuleBritannia, my children are all remarked upon for their good manners and ability to empathise with other people. Perhaps because I have taught them that we are all equal and we should all treat each other with respect and i have not implied to them that because they are children they are second class citizens.

It is absolute rubbish that children need to be slapped down and to ' know their place' to be well behaved.

Just to say Bupcakes has it absolutely spot on. I really don't see why you did it OP apart from purely to demonstrate that you have some kind of authority over children - did it make you feel better?
Respect works both ways and all you have taught them is that you can get something by virtue of size and age, not because you actually deserve it due to circumstance.

I did not suggest thast chilkdren are second class citizens. Anyway, if I had bneen in the OP's position and needed a seat, I would have nicely asked the mother to get a child to move not asked th4e child.

*been

What Kitchen said. For me, old fashioned respect means the strong looking out for the weak and thinking of ways to make their lives easier. Which means 12yo ds getting up for the lady with the heavy shopping- not me shoving a 2yo out of his seat.

Another aspect of old fashioned manners that is often forgotten these days is that it is for adults to model good manners rather than just insist on them in others.

if I had bneen in the OP's position and needed a seat

She didn't need a seat though, she was too bloody lazy to stand and felt she deserved to sit down because she happened to be older.