Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my 6yr old is too young for a 'pamper party'?

81 replies

kimster · 05/11/2012 16:42

Hmm. I'm having a dilemma! DD is 6yrs old and has been invited to a 'pamper party' at a local beauty salon. I have a bit of an issue about girls being praised and admired for their physical appearance at such a young age (i work with teenage girls who have issues with their weight and image so see the effect it can have on them)and although she's allowed a bit of nail varnish now and then, we are trying to develop her self worth in a variety ways other than how 'pretty' she is.

So, should i let her go?

Anyone's views on this would be appreciated to help me get some perspective! I can't help thinking she's too young...

Thank you!

OP posts:
HoolioHallio · 05/11/2012 16:44

YANBU. I don't mind painting DDs nails but 'pampering' for 6 year olds is a step too far.

Ithinkitsjustme · 05/11/2012 16:45

I think it depends on the individual child. I don't think that going to one pamper party is going to give her a complex in later life. You may even find that she doesn't want to go, but I think you would do more harm than good by refusing if she does want to go. It's not a party that I would be holding with my own DD but I would allow her to go if she was invited to one.

Procrasstinator · 05/11/2012 16:46

I wouldn't let mine go, I don't think

squeakytoy · 05/11/2012 16:47

If she wants to go, why wouldnt you let her? There is nothing wrong with being well groomed and pampering yourself, it isnt only for "beautiful" people you know...

pictish · 05/11/2012 16:47

I think she's 6, and as a one off the party would be utterly harmless.

pictish · 05/11/2012 16:48

Agree with you Squeaky

Nothing wrong with pampering at all.

yousankmybattleship · 05/11/2012 16:48

My DD is 6. I wouldn't let her go.

anklebitersmum · 05/11/2012 16:49

I think it's all a bit eeeeew at 6 too to be honest, but I'd let her go (providing she won't be coming back ump-lumpa orange). As a one-off treat it's not such a huge issue is it? Besides, all little girls need to be told and feel they're pretty as well as intelligent and 'well rounded'.

pictish · 05/11/2012 16:49

And I'm no oil painting, trust me, but can still pamper myself because I want to and feel I deserve it.
It's not all about looks at all!

squeakytoy · 05/11/2012 16:50

By not allowing her to go when all her friends do, you are isolating her from her peers and she is unlikely to understand why she doesnt get to go and join in what is simply a bit of fun. Girls and women of all shapes, sizes and ages like to pamper themselves and it does not create eating disorders or image issues either.

Stinkyminkymoo · 05/11/2012 16:52

Yabu. 1 party isn't going to make a difference, whilst I agree with you, you tell me you don't feel amazing when you've come out of the salon having had you're hair done.

I'm no model but so am after a cut & colour but I love the way a good pamper session makes me feel like I am :)

CwtchesAndCuddles · 05/11/2012 16:52

Dd(7) has been to two and enjoyed them, more so the being with her friends than the pampering. Bit of glitter nail polish, hair styled a bit all very low key.

It's really not my thing, I hardly ever wear makeup, never paint my nails and had a few concerns about lettting her go but decided to let her choose.

I think by stopping her going it would have made more of an issue out of it.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 05/11/2012 16:53

I'd let my DD go but I'd make it clear it was an absolute special treat and certainly not something we/she would be doing often.

I see no harm in this stuff but do agree that 6 is awfully young. I think my 6th birthday party featured a bouncy castle. That's got to be more fun than the whole pampering thing? Although my 5 year old DD loves her nails being painted.

ChippingInLovesAutumn · 05/11/2012 16:55

I wouldn't host one - I think there are plenty of other more appropriate and fun things that 6 year olds could be doing instead, however, I wouldn't stop my child going to one - it's a party (or more likely a series of parties!!) and if I thought my parenting could be so easily undone by a few parties I'd be looking at that! My 6 year old niece has just been to one, had her nails painted and hair her hair put up with little butterflies in it - she had great fun, later that day she was digging in mud and being batman Grin She knows shes beautiful, she also knows she's clever, funny, loved and sometimes a pain in the bum!

muffinmonster · 05/11/2012 16:59

I don't like the idea of pamper parties for six-year-old girls, either, but I think if you don't let her go you're making more of a big issue of it than if you do. It's one party - it's not going to be character-forming.

We never took the DCs to McDonalds, but I let them attend birthday parties there when they were invited. DS loved it (Hmm) but it hasn't ruined his diet.

fuzzpig · 05/11/2012 16:59

DD was invited to one recently - DH and I found it really difficult to decide whether to let her go or not (in the end she was ill anyway).

I wouldn't have questioned it if they'd been having the age 4-6 party - pampering with nail varnish - but it was a sixth birthday party, so lots of 5yos there, and they were having the age 7-10 makeover party (with emphasis on looking beautiful). Eh? Hmm

akaemmafrost · 05/11/2012 17:00

The word "pamper" makes me feel nauseous.

fuzzpig · 05/11/2012 17:01

(DD is at the age where she isn't really bothered about who is going to whose party, or what they're about etc, if she'd come home raving about it we would've said yes straight away I think, despite being very Hmm at these types of party)

akaemmafrost · 05/11/2012 17:01

However I would let her go. Why not? I think dd gets a sensible enough upbringing otherwise to ensure that "pampering" does not become especially relevant to her life.

Francagoestohollywood · 05/11/2012 17:05

I find the idea of "pampering" parties for children really sad. And wrong in so many ways.

Not sure what I'd do if I were in your shoes. First reaction would be to say NO.

5madthings · 05/11/2012 17:07

its one party, with her friends and its a treat, i think it would be fine, i am guessing ti will be a case of nails painted etc, maybe a bit of moisturiser or something? not a full on make up session? either way its a one off.

Arthurfowlersallotment · 05/11/2012 17:08

A child has no place in a fucking beauty salon.

This shite is one step away from Honey Boo Boo.

ecuse · 05/11/2012 17:09

This makes me feel a bit pukey and I'm completely with you on hating the idea and the rationale. But I think I'd reluctantly let my DD go because of not wanting her to feel isolated, ostracised etc. Better to have the conversation at home and (age appropriately) pick apart this sort of stuff and talk about it than to just institute a blanket ban.

ornellaia · 05/11/2012 17:09

A one off seems fairly harmless to me, it's not as though you're booking her in for weekly spray tans. Presumably it'll be a bit of nail polish and faffing about with hair clips. I wouldn't book one for my DD (7) but I wouldn't stop her from going to a friend's.

SirSugar · 05/11/2012 17:10

What ever happened to good old pass the parcel and pin the tail on the donkey.

YANBU, unneccesary sexualistaion of girls far too young. People are thick when they indulge in shite like this; stick to your guns, if you don't like it don't send her

Swipe left for the next trending thread