to think my 6yr old is too young for a 'pamper party'?

[kimster]

Hmm. I'm having a dilemma! DD is 6yrs old and has been invited to a 'pamper party' at a local beauty salon. I have a bit of an issue about girls being praised and admired for their physical appearance at such a young age (i work with teenage girls who have issues with their weight and image so see the effect it can have on them)and although she's allowed a bit of nail varnish now and then, we are trying to develop her self worth in a variety ways other than how 'pretty' she is.

So, should i let her go?

Anyone's views on this would be appreciated to help me get some perspective! I can't help thinking she's too young...

Thank you!

I had this with DD at a similar age. I decided to let her go. As it turned out, the "pampering" was a bit of nail varnish, glitter body paint and tattoos, coupled with some more traditional pass-the-parcel and pinata games. I let her go and she loved it.

Let's face it, female grooming is far and above what is expected for men and we are judged far more if we fail to conform. However, until the western world is ready for women en masse to walk around unshaven, undyed, unmade-up and forsaking high heels and uncomfortable fashions, there is a danger of making our children pay for the upholding of our own principles.

I would have stopped my DD going if the pamper party had involved a more grown-up "how to make yourself more attractive" element, but I checked out what was involved and decided I could live with it. I then talked to my DD about society and girls, and not being judged on appearance, etc (although I talk to her regularly about this anyway).

I think it's a bit like pornified music videos and facebook. We can't do much to shield our children from the world and protect them from the pressures of cultural conformity. The best we can do is protect them from the excesses and talk to them about it so at least they can make an informed choice about which bits they succumb to rather than following blindly like sheep.

My DD had one of these parties at a local spa when she turned 7. They had a short dunk in the jacuzzi, while being served virgin cocktails, 2 mins in the sauna, which was switched to a much lower heat than usual, shower, blow dries, hair curled or straightened, nail polish, sparkly eyeshadow and lipgloss, and partysnacks.

They all loved it. It is a bit of fun, that's all.

Imo, making sure the party isn't seen as important, and t show that pampering can be fun if you like it, will be more helpful. Making a big deal out of it will cause her to focus on it and maybe make her feel more isolated. Let her go but make sure she sees it as something fun, like face painting type stuff but with make up. Pampering isn't wrong, seeing pampering and changing how you look as very important is, iyswim.

I wouldn't go one for my DD but I also wouldn't exclude her from going.

She can see that I don't do makeup, posh hair or clothes and how secure I am in myself and how sad I feel got those who can't go out the house without being made up.

I would let her go if she wants to because I don't think a one off party is going to make a huge amount of difference. Also I'm such a giant scruff bag that I'm sure I'd cancel the affect of about a thousand pamper parties.