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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my 6yr old is too young for a 'pamper party'?

81 replies

kimster · 05/11/2012 16:42

Hmm. I'm having a dilemma! DD is 6yrs old and has been invited to a 'pamper party' at a local beauty salon. I have a bit of an issue about girls being praised and admired for their physical appearance at such a young age (i work with teenage girls who have issues with their weight and image so see the effect it can have on them)and although she's allowed a bit of nail varnish now and then, we are trying to develop her self worth in a variety ways other than how 'pretty' she is.

So, should i let her go?

Anyone's views on this would be appreciated to help me get some perspective! I can't help thinking she's too young...

Thank you!

OP posts:
Callisto · 05/11/2012 18:24

I'm with Sir Sugar. Awful, unnecessary and very boring for the children I would think. I would come up with some pre-arranged other thing so that DD couldn't go. TBH, if one of DD's friends had a party like this at this age (she is 7) in fact any age under about 13, I would be very Hmm about the parents.

WilsonFrickett · 05/11/2012 18:29

It's just the notion that 6yo girls need 'pampering'. Because the stresses and strains are too much? Because they are time poor and need to maximise their beauty regime?

I think it's ick. But a pp made the analogy with a party at McDs and I do kind of get that too so on balance I think I would let the child go if she wanted to.

I have to say my DS wanted an all boy 7 birthday party and I put my foot down over that one. Hate segregation at this age.

PropertyNightmare · 05/11/2012 18:31

Boo, I'm not a 'fan' but equally I keep a fairly even handle on the majority of innocuous subjects. Don't sweat the small stuff. And to be fair some people are pig ugly just as some are stunningly attractive.

PropertyNightmare · 05/11/2012 18:31

Boo-Hoo

Lol

MrsCantSayAnything · 05/11/2012 18:37

My Dd went to one and loved it. All they did was paint her nails, put a load of tacky clips in her hair and play dancing games.

ontheedgeofwhatever · 05/11/2012 19:28

I let DD go to one for her friends 6th birthday party last year though it was slightly against my better judgement.

It was all low level stuff - glitter nail varnish, pretty hair styles with choice of lovely bobbles and slides, very little bit of make up and a silly game of put the make up on the face (bit like pin the tail on the donkey only they were doing make up on card board faces while wearing blind folds) Overall she really enjoyed it and I was pleasantly surprised to be honest

SpottyMcSpot · 05/11/2012 19:29

6 year olds should be playing games and running around and stuff, not having 'pamper' parties. Vom.

thebody · 05/11/2012 19:35

Think lots of overthinking here! It's not going to turn your dd into a parent princess, anorexic or more prone to become Katie price 2nd! It's one bloody party for a 6 year old.

Actually I think it's nice that my dds in their time have been to swimming, pamper, horse riding, footi and sports and ski slope toboggan parties.

Lucky kids.

I also never interfere with the guest list. Kids party kids guests.

Procrasstinator · 05/11/2012 19:55

what about the boys? do they get sparkly nail varnish and lip gloss?

Floggingmolly · 05/11/2012 19:56

It's only hair styling, and a bit of lip gloss and glitter temporary tattoos, you know. She's not going to emerge like something from TOWIE, or equate wearing lip gloss with her sense of self worth, why do you imagine she would?
Most 6 year olds love dressing up, this is just an extension of that.
Tbh, I'd prefer this to one of those ubiquitous McDonalds parties, where all they seem to do is stuff themselves with burgers and run around screaming Hmm

thebody · 05/11/2012 20:00

Totally flogging...

ornellaia · 05/11/2012 20:09

procrasstinator My DS 6 is rather fond of nail polish and glitter tattoos, he doesn't wear lipgloss but he has been known to draw himself some whiskers with my eyeliner. I'd let him go to a pamper party too if he wanted.

Mrsjay · 05/11/2012 20:10

SHE IS 6 id imagine it be a bit of glittery make up and nail polish , I am not a girly girl but i don't thinkt here is anything wrong in little girls dressing up and it is her friends party, you could always call the salon and ask what they do ?

BooBumpDaddyandMe · 05/11/2012 20:22

My gut reaction is "Yuck". Six is awfully young to start making a big deal about hair & make up.
However I guess little girls are all about dressing up & being pretty, be it with their dollies or their peers?
Personally I think there are far more appropriate ways to celebrate a six year olds Birthday - what's wrong with ponies or treasure hunts or picnics in a tent?
If she's desperate to go let her. If not I'd be really relieved!

Original poster
kimster · 05/11/2012 20:38

Wow. Thank you everyone. Was only expecting a few replies but this is great. Some really good points and it's got me thinking. I'm going to sleep on it - head and heart soil having a dispute!

OP posts:
Original poster
kimster · 05/11/2012 20:39

*still

OP posts:
lovebunny · 05/11/2012 20:40

if you're against it, don't let her go and tell her why.

Bogeyface · 05/11/2012 20:41

Pamper parties didnt exist 34 years ago when I was 6, but we still managed to do it!

Pinching our mums make up, dressing up in the rather impressive stuff my grandma used to give us (think 40's and 50's orginal evening gowns, breaks my heart when I think what we used to do to them :( ), did each others hair.....

Girls world was amazingly popular, as was Sindy and to a lesser extent then, Barbie. Girls of a certain type will always want to dress up and play at being "grown up laydeees" and that all this is, just another way of pretending to be grown ups.

I think that making a huge issue out of it is actually likely to be more damaging to her self esteem and self belief. What if she ends up the sort of woman who genuinely likes having her hair done, likes having spray tan, or even...shock horror....wants to be a model? Do you imagine that she would be comfortable telling you if she felt that you would be disgusted and horrified that she was so interested in her appearance as to make a living out of it?

The short answer is, one party involving lip gloss does not a Jordan make.

Bogeyface · 05/11/2012 20:44

Oh and an interesting fact.

I was the girly girl, my sister was the tomboy. I wanted to be an actressslashmodel and she wanted to be in the police. I ended up running my own company and she is managing one of a national chain of spas, having originally trained as a beauty therapist when a health issue prevented her joining the force! I live in jeans and jumpers, she wears fabulous outfits and heels every day with full makeup.

You cant tell at aged 6 what anyone will become.

squeakytoy · 05/11/2012 20:46

" what's wrong with ponies or treasure hunts or picnics in a tent?"

It is winter for a start, and not all parents would be happy with their 6yo's going on a pony either. I would say the risk of danger of falling off a pony is greater than a bit of nail polish..

squeakytoy · 05/11/2012 20:54

I loved my Girls World and Sindy/barbie dolls when I was 6.. I have worked in the construction industry for most of my working life, can drive a hgv, and spend a lot of time these days up ladders on rooftops looking at satellite dishes..

Going to a pamper party at 6 will not turn a child into Katie Price..

Mousefunk · 05/11/2012 21:02

Scary.. my sixth birthday was at a softplay type thing and we had nuggets and chips afterwards and that was us happy, perhaps we were easily pleased back then.. I didn't attempt make up until I was 13, I was a bit of a tomboy who cut barbies hair off though. Maybe i'm just old fashioned, I don't know but kids seem to be growing up way way too quickly..

I have seen one of these pamper parties on TV and it seems to just be hair and nails. For me providing there was no make up involved I think i'd let DDs just to avoid them being ostracised. But if make up is involved no way, my child is not a doll..

justforgirlz1 · 13/02/2014 12:52

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Funnyfoot · 13/02/2014 12:58

Was just about to reply then noticed this:

ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This is/was a dead thread. Are you sure you want to reanimate it?
Complete with an animation of a Zombie!

First time I have seen that Smile

Purplepoodle · 13/02/2014 14:59

My friend did one for her daughters 7th birthday (homemade version). The girls had their nails painted sparkly, glitter spray and hairbands or bobbles for their hair, did mini sparkly tattoos. They had dress up outfits. The girls loved it. Not sure about a salon one