To think that the question 'why are you a vegetarian' is exceptionally rude

[Partypartyrings]

I've had twenty-five years of it and I'm hacked off with it.

I don't give one flying shit what you eat, so why is what I eat so interesting?

Being a vegetarian is not something exotic, surely you've heard/met one before, don't bloody ask me, use your imagination.

And no, I don't fucking miss bacon, in fact it makes me heave.

And no, what I choose to eat is not some sort of judgement on what you eat so stop being so defensive about it.

Develop some manners- it is rude to question/comment on what somebody is eating.

Grr. There. Public service announcement over.

You know what will make you feel better this morning, OP? A proper full English breakfast. I guess that it's the malnourishment that's wearing you down.

But I ask people why their vegetarian so that I know what to tell DH if he's going to cook for them. So is it all meat, just some meat, only if its organic, or is it for religious reasons. My friends DH is a very laid back vegetarian - will eat roast potatoes that have been cooked in dripping, doesn't mind having gravy even if its got meat juice in it etc. however, another friend won't have any of that so we just need to make sure we cook a bit separately for her. I would probably avoid the full carnivore option at a restaurant if I knew that some one really felt sick at the idea of it (and would probably avoid veal completely if someone was vegetarian for ethical reasons).

So chill.

She speaks very highly of you, OldMumsy .

YABU. I've asked that question maybe three or four times in my life and it's simply a case of me being interested. Not all vegetarians have made that decision on moral or ethical grounds. Some simply believe that it's healthier. So I'm curious about your reasons. I don't ask in a confrontational way, its just conversation.

Just because you are veggie doesn't mean you are morally superior and/or healthier than meat eaters. Right I feel better now.

I wouldn't say it was rude to ask why someone is a vegetarian - unless asked in a particularly nasty way, BUT...... it gets SO BORING. It might be an interesting conversation for you on the ethical implications of eating eggs or the environmental impact of meat etc But to me it's just a sandwich!

And there are plenty of non-veggies out there (and on this thread) who start from a stand point of 'vegetarianism is wrong - justify yourself!' and are clearly just out for an argument at your expense.

And 'vegetarians' who eat fish or chicken are not vegetarian - they are just omnivores who don't like red meat! [personal bugbear emoticon]

OP, YABU. People are taking an interest in you. Take the opportunity to express your view.

It's like saying "why do you live in Wales/London/ a boat/" and you saying "how bloody rude, how dare you question me, God I'm so sick of people challenging me etc etc froth, rant, froth"

Also, save your energy for when someone really IS rude, or you'll end up exhausted and burnt out..

And never in the last 25 years has someone asked me WHY I'm vegetarian in order to invite me for tea! In that case they will ask WHAT I can eat or 'Are you ok with.....? etc And yes, sometimes vegetarians are invited out, but usually only the ones who can be trusted not to lecture everyone else on their food choices....

OP YANBU

I was a vegetarian for 12 years. It is a bit annoying, every time you sit down at a meal with a person you've recently met, to have to explain your very personal beliefs. Especially when this usually results in your beliefs being attacked or condescended. I'm a relatively shy person, and I do not enjoy debates full stop, let alone a debate I've already been dragged into 100 times simply because I ordered the vegetarian main.

I know not everyone does this. And I know that the people that do might not realise how unappreciated their question is. But I think non-vegetarians might be surprised at how often vegetarians are attacked simply for making a personal choice.

chestnut where does the OP says she thinks that.

YOU are exactly the kind of person I was talking about in my post.

I don't think it's a rude question but it is a boring one.

It is a bit annoying, but 'exceptionally rude' seems like you're over-reacting a bit.

I usually just say 'I just prefer not to eat meat' if asked, which is a bit of a non-answer, but is basically true and works OK if you don't want to get into a discussion.

YANBU - it's not a very rude question but it is too nosy.

(I eat meat btw).

Best answer is ''because i am.''

Um it's called conversation OP.

Someone tells you something about themselves, you ask them a question back and so on. It's not restricted to vegetarianism!

I ask. Usully if I'm cooking for someone. As another poster said some people say they are vegetarian when actually they just don't like meat. So if I was cooking I might include chicken stock or wine.

On the other hand if it is a religeous or moral choice I would make sure there was no animal product at all in what I cooked for them.

I think it's just people trying to make conversation. I don't see it as extremely rude. Sometimes questions can be a bit personal but maybe they're just interested. I met someone who home schooled and asked her why - which probably was too intrusive in hindsight. People ask me what's wrong with my dd's eyes sometimes (obvious squint). It's just people being interested. They're not to know you're sensitive about it.

I was going to say YABU but Paiviaso made me rethink and explains well why OP would feel this way.

Used to be veggie too and it did used to annoy me a bit, especially people who would ask it to get into a discussion about ethics etc and I was young, shy and didn't really want to explain my choices to someone I didn't know very well.

Its good to have a reply like Ephiny has suggested ready.

It's not rude - people are just showing feigned interest in your thing.
You can't tell me you've never asked anyone about themselves before, because you have and you will again.
Pull your head out of your bottom.

I ask people that if they are. Because I concur with the idea that most meat is inhumanely slaughtered. But not that cwute fluffy animals are not there for us to eat. It sparks discussion and I am genuinely interested in the answer.

I'm not veggie but I respect that life choice IF you have the conviction to back it up. Or even if you just don't like meat.

If people just ask because they are trying to convince you you shouldn't be, that's rude.

YANBU.

As someone up thread said, if you answer the question with whatever the beliefs are it invariably descends into a "debate" about whatever your beliefs are. The questioner never just says, "oh, that's really interesting" and moves on.

As a shy and inarticulate person I always come out of these debates feeling small and stupid.

Vegetarians have to constantly defend their choices in a way omnivores,or for example,Muslims don't.

Add to the fact that people always think that you must be unhealthy if you are veggie, or missing essential nutrients. And there is of course the deeply unpleasant view (which I have seen a few times on MN) that if you are veggie/vegan you are hiding an eating disorder.

Non veggies usually have a negative view of veggies so we can often be a bit oversensitive/defensive (at the very least meat eaters assume we are depriving ourselves of something /missing something which is an inherently negative viewpoint)

Jesus if I believed just half of what I read on Mumsnet, I'd never speak to another person again for fear of offending them.

OP take a huge leap and get right over yourself.

I can't imagine anyone who asks you that question really gives a rat's arse what you do/don't eat.

I was a veggie for many years, and got asked this all the time btw. Never bothered me. People don't really care - it's just something to say.

YABU - get over yourself. They're just making conversation,plus people are vegetarians for a variety of reasons,not just because they disagree with animal slaughter per se.

Any excuse to be offended!

OP yanbu.

The problem isn't someone asking you in a polite, interested, conversational way. It's when they ask in such an incredulous way. - the same way they would ask "Why don't you have a TV?!" or "Why are you standing naked in the street on a Monday morning?!"
These people are defensive and confrontational. It's annoying and boring.

I actually gave up on going to dinner parties many many years ago because of this. Every bloomin time I was at the table the entire conversation would be about what I was eating. There's always the question "So, What do you eat then?" as they look totally dumbfounded wondering how I survive. A quick answer of "everything but meat" never wiped the confused look off their face. I started listing all the food I eat in the end. Once your list gets into the 100s they run out of questions

If a vegetarian was to ask the same questions to a meat eater they would be slated. So, why is it OK to ask stupid questions to a vegetarian?

This thread is so interesting. I hate preachy vegetarians. I hate any type of preachiness, actually.
I am veggie, and yes, I have been asked quite a lot why am I veggie over the years. Normally by non-british blokes, oddly (at work). I don't mind, but do find it hard to answer without sounding preachy or sanctimonious. Which I'd hate.
I do find it odd that some people think I must really miss bacon. I don't, not at all. And yes, there are a few who seem to want to convert me back. And another few who if I say I am veggie will go into an diatribe about preachy vegetarians... (really, I'm not one!) But it takes all sorts, so can't say I give any of it more than a moment's thought.