To think that the question 'why are you a vegetarian' is exceptionally rude

[Partypartyrings]

I've had twenty-five years of it and I'm hacked off with it.

I don't give one flying shit what you eat, so why is what I eat so interesting?

Being a vegetarian is not something exotic, surely you've heard/met one before, don't bloody ask me, use your imagination.

And no, I don't fucking miss bacon, in fact it makes me heave.

And no, what I choose to eat is not some sort of judgement on what you eat so stop being so defensive about it.

Develop some manners- it is rude to question/comment on what somebody is eating.

Grr. There. Public service announcement over.

I'm in my 50's now and have been asked all my life what it's like to be an identical twin.
Some people are interested, that's all and I just answer their questions.
It's no skin of my nose.

I think people just ask things because they're interested/nosy - I don't think they're trying to piss you off. I get asked - oh you've only got one child, are you not going to have more - er no I am single so that would be hard :) Have you found a new man yet - er no and I'm not looking thanks. Someone even asked how I manage without sex!!! I don't let it bother me and neither should you. There's worse things in the world to worry about than nosy parkers ;)

OP, I sort of get what you are saying. I have been vegetarian for 30 years and tbh, have forgotten the reasons I turned veggie. It just is.

It is hard to explain to others and I just make up reasons. Things I think will placate the person asking, rather than make them defensive. I don't want to talk about being vegetarian or debate it.

Why bother asking if you are going to reply telling anyone who says Yabu that they are wrong.

You are def being unreasonable to make the assumption above that when you are asked you are being judged, perhaps this is where the problem lies. Questions aren't always, or even usually, judgements. The cause of many an outrage is people jumping to the conclusion that a simple question is some kind of judgement or accusation.

So essentially, we all think it's fine to show a genuine interest in a personal choice with an acquaintance but to accept if they're not interested in discussing it (as the thing that is unusual to you is normal to them yet draws attention repeatedly). We think it's fine to discuss most things with close friends. We think it is not ok to ask someone something in order to have a go at them or seek to humiliate them.

The only real difference I really see on the thread is between people who've experienced repeated questioning on the same topic and people who haven't. It could just as well be religion, educational choices or parenting style.

I think I could resolve the whole of AIBU by pointing out that it is reasonable to be pleasant, unreasonable to be rude. There you go!

I've also been veggie for about 25 years and it really doesn't bother me if people ask why.

Usually you find they ask because they either been veggie briefly themselves/have thought about becoming veggie/ have a teenager who is threatening to become one/ has a DH or whatever who is one etc

I think, in this day and age, more people are either giving up meat or contemplate it at some point and like to see what others reasons are.

Its not as though its like asking someone why they don't drink alcohol, which is a question that could cause awkwardness eg. if someone is a recovering alcoholic or is pregnant.

So you don't want to discuss something that is so important to you with someone who is interested in hearing why it's so important to you?

Fair enough.

Meh, if you're that bothered OP then just make up something ridiculous to tell them. Like

"One time I was eating a steak and found worms in it, that put me off for life"

"I only eat meat on the second full moon in February"

"Meat gives me terrible gas, do you wanna see for yourself?"

I'm mischievous enough to say stuff like that when peeved.

Blimy don't get your knickers in a twist, they are only asking

OP, are you in a foul mood because you miss bacon?

OP, maybe people find it tricky to approach you and strike up a conversation, maybe they sense that you're LIKELY TO BLOW if they say the wrong thing, so maybe they end up asking a slightly silly question. Maybe they're not actually doing it to deliberately piss you off.

Been lurking for a while, this topic realllyy struck a chord with me so just had to stick my two-penneth in.

I don't find it rude when people ask why I am vegan, unless they follow it with a lecture on how animals are there to be eaten, how can I live without meat, I must be very ill or the one I hate the most- so what do you eat like without meat/dairy products no other foods exist

The worst offender who really pisses me off is mum's dp. He claims to love animals, refuses to kill insects, feeds the birds etc. and yet he does not eat a single meal that doesn't contain meat (no exaggeration either) and every single time I see him (thankfully not often) he shouts EAT SOME MEAT and finds this hilarious. He also asks me every time why I don't eat meat and every time he will get the same answer, I don't know if he thinks it will change or what.. He's v.irritating, obnoxious and rude.

However people who ask in a genuinely curious manner aren't, imo, rude at all. It does get rather boring and tbh i've given up listing full reasons and instead just say because I don't like the thought of eating a rotting corpse which always gets a nice response

I have actually turned it the other way and said 'why do you eat meat' and for all the articulate reasons not to eat it the only reason i've ever EVER heard for eating it is- because it tastes nice. Oh sorry there's also the food chain bull and a very strange woman DH works with that will only use vegan products but eats meat because apparently animals sacrifice their lives for us..

One more point is a good friend of mine, her Uncle is veggie and every Christmas whilst they're tucking into their turkey proceeds to inform them how the turkeys are slaughtered (secretly laughing but..) and that's rude also. So there are good and bad on both sides but it isn't rude to ask someone out of pure curiousity why they choose to be vegetarian at all.

Ive been veggie for about the same time and it doesn't bother me. Unless its some twat trying to goad me into a Millie Tant style rage against farmers and the livestock trade (which hasnt happened since I was a student, and I didnt rise to it then either).

Some people are genuinely interested and some people just say it for something to say. They don't really want to know what is put into sausages!

partypartyrings do you realise that party rings aren't vegetarian? Its the glazing you see...

I would never ask someone I didn't know reasonably well - Totally true. I woudln't, but I have asked friends before and none have ever minded.

'm glad you realise your initial post was a bit OTT as well. Most people are only interested, and you're well within your rights, to tell the ones that you can tell are just going to make the bacon jokes, whatever you want to make them go away!

"Dae ye no want some MEEEET?!!" Thats what my brother says. Every time I see him. And I still haven"t banjoed him (yet).

Oh dear oh dear.

Is it more EXCEPTIONALLY rude than "gosh, you've put on a lot of weight, it's really hanging around your belly isn't it?".

GAFG darlin'.

PS, I'm not being bilious because you're vegetarian, I'm being bilious because you've lost your grip on reality. It really has nothing to do with your dietary habits and everything to do with your attitude. HTH.

PPS If I ever ask anyone why they're vegetarian, it's because I'm interested. Maybe they had some food revelation, came out in hives with chicken, a mcdonalds urban myth put the love of god in to them, or maybe they just couldn't eat the lamb-bees.

prying into someone's personal diet choices

Sorry but that's ridiculous. If you feel strongly enough about something to change your life in order to accomodate your views be they political, moral or just lifestyle you shouldn't be surprised when people are interested in why you've taken that decision. You seem very defensive about this. And there are people who can be dismissive about vegetarianism. But the vast majority of people ar just curious so as long as the question isn't framed in a hostile way why on earth shouldn't they ask? How do you expect them to learn about your moral/lifestyle position if you're not prepared to share any of the calculations you made about it with them?

Would you consider it rude to ask someone what political party they voted for? Or why they choose to buy organic food? or whether they recycle? Or whether they give money to homeless people?

All of these are similar questions about where the personal and the political interact and they are legitimate. If you are going to go through life with a belief system which affects not just your food choices but those of your family and friends and by the way I fully respect vegetarianism you're going to have to grow a pair a bit when people ask you questions about it.

"In some cultures around the world vegetarianism is the norm."

Yup and that's why I sometimes to tease out if it's animal welfare or tradition/faith.

No big issue really? Surely. My mum is of an asian culture that has veggie only cuisine (and it's fantastic). For this reason people ask me if I'm a veggie and ask if I can eat beef. Some are trying to tease out my 'stance' and others are just trying to ensure they don't cook something for me that I won't eat. No big deal in the overal scheme of my life.

I'm pleased you realise how OTT your OP is :)

I've been veggie pretty much my entire adult life (I was 20) and I don't mind people asking, not at all, however I'd rather they didn't ask just as a meal is being served because if I tell them why I'm veggie I feel as though I'm criticising their choices and it's really not a conversation to be having whilst people are eating meat, I feel. So sometimes I'll say, 'Can we discuss this after dinner :)' but generally I just answer and try to be brief because I don't think that they think about it like that and when you are eating/ordering vegetarian food it's a natural time for it to come up in conversation.

LOL - I've just had a thought. I'm veggie and I do sometimes ask other people why they are veggie, but I'd never ask a meat eater why they eat meat (unless they're being a confrontational dickhead!) so does that make me more rude or less rude than a meat eater that asks a veggie why they eat meat??

Actually vegetarianism is so much the norm these days, I'm surprised you're still finding so many people asking about it.
Twenty odd years ago yes, but now?
Really, that many people are interested in your food choices ?