To think that the question 'why are you a vegetarian' is exceptionally rude

[Partypartyrings]

I've had twenty-five years of it and I'm hacked off with it.

I don't give one flying shit what you eat, so why is what I eat so interesting?

Being a vegetarian is not something exotic, surely you've heard/met one before, don't bloody ask me, use your imagination.

And no, I don't fucking miss bacon, in fact it makes me heave.

And no, what I choose to eat is not some sort of judgement on what you eat so stop being so defensive about it.

Develop some manners- it is rude to question/comment on what somebody is eating.

Grr. There. Public service announcement over.

It can be really rude if its asked in an aggressive and intimidating way - which it quite often is.

People who seem genuinely interested and are just 'making conversation' are fine, although it does get boring answering the same question over and over.

Worst experience was being on a date where the guy said he'd like to take me to [London restaurant famous for offal] and I said 'well it's a pity I'm vegetarian then' - he was horrified and so offended I was vegetarian and kept coming back to it. ( Why? Why don't you eat meat? ). Made me so cross that he was so wound up about it.

And no, I don't miss bacon. Never really liked it anyway, far too salty.

How on earth is it rude to show interest in a decision you have made as part of a conversation?

Yabvu! Goodness, the things people get their knickers in a twist about on here is quite ridiculous.

It's making conversation. People ask questions about the choices you make in life. It's a way of continuing a conversation. Just like they ask why you chose your job, why you live where you do, why you chose the names you did for your children. Normal people do ask you why you drive X car - in fact someone asked me that yesterday.

I don't always ask why someone is vegetarian, but sometimes I do. It can lead to interesting conversations about someone's religion, or their personal ethical beliefs, or just 'actually I don't like meat'.

Your comments about not asking why someone drives a particular car suggests that you think it is rude to ask anyone anything about their personal choices. Which is your perogative to believe, but I do think you are 'deviating from the standard' if you hold that belief, so you'll have to live with the fact that most other people won't.

Well sometimes it's helpful to ask in case you have to feed the aforementioned saintly vegetarian

since there are so so sooooooooo many and varied personal interpretations of the term people tend to like a bit of clarity.

IME vegetarian varies from "i only eat grains of sand warmed gently in morning dew" to "that steak's a bit pink for me actually"

It's just humans- can't help themselves- when you're pg you get a load of cliche comments , when you've had a baby, new hair cut, are poorly, choose a particular diet, have put on weight etc

I am veggie as well (17 yrs) and have the same questions but just let it go over my head.

There are tonnes of threads by pg women sick of the comments and they only get them for 8months - so am sure people can appreciate that 25years will wear one down

Depends on the manner of asking. (I'm not veggie but used to be.)

A genuine question by someone who wants to know isn't rude at all. There are different reasons for being veggie - moral, religious, environmental, health - and it's a conversation opener if you don't know the person well.

Unfortunately, there's often rudeness on both sides. The vegetarian who replies to what is effectively smalltalk in a strident/judgemental way - "Well, why are YOOUU chomping on the flesh of dead animals and ruining the planet?" Although, to be fair, this type of veggie usually doesn't wait to be asked.

But when I was veggie I did in fact have it up to here with that question being asked in a rude way. Variations on "Why don't you eat PROPERLY?" were common. Or comments about humans being "designed to eat meat". And of course, the old favourite - those poor, poor carrots, har-de-har-har.

So maybe you're sometimes BU and sometimes NBU .

I bet you're a barrel of laughs at parties

I think YABU if the question is phrased as a genuine question, there are many reasons for peole being vegetarian, they may not like the texture of meat, they may not like the look of it, the may not like the idea of eating animals, they may not like the idea of eating products obtained from animals, they may have a partner who is a vegetarian and decided that it was easier, they may have been brought up as a vegetarian, they may believe that there are health benefits to their choice, they may find it inconsistant with their religious beliefs etc, etc. The reason that people don't ask why others eat meat is because it's obvious that none of the above apply, therefore there is nothing to discuss. I eat meat and would freely discuss why I do if it was of interest to anyone. I don't see why anyone should put up with aggressive questioning over any choices they make, whether that be what they eat, what religious beliefs they hold etc.

The OP is exactly why I avoid vegetarians. They are so extreme.

I often get asked if I am vegetarian if I order dishes that don't contain meat or fish from the menu. So being a meat eater means I have to eat meat or fish at every meal? Probably only 4/5 meals out of 21 a week (breakfast, lunch, dinner) will contain meat or fish.

YABU. It's a legitimate question. Get over it.

OldMumsy - you "avoid" vegetarians, and THEY'RE being "extreme"?

My 14 yr old is certainly "extreme", but not in a vegetarian way. She never mentions it. You wouldn't even know she was veggie, I promise, unless you had your nose right in her plate at every meal. But go right ahead and "avoid" her - I'm just not sure how you knowingly can. You might want to limit your travelling a bit, as well.

There are question I think are intruding, asking when you are going to have another child after a baby is born - to me it feels like that question probes into a couples sex life which I consider private (behind closed doors)

But to ask about why someone doesn't eat meat isn't private or intimate, and they may have some interesting points about their choices which possibly I should also consider for myself.

I will add I have never asked anyone why they don't eat meat and the reason is that every single person that I have meet who has told me they don't eat meat has also told me why they don't eat meat. There may be other people I have meet that I don't know what there food choices are but they haven't informed me even if I have noticed, I haven't intruded on their choices as they would have told me I guess if they wanted me to know.

Op I know you don't eat meat as you have informed me, I wonder will you be the first person to tell me this information and not tell me why?

YABU

I'm also a vegetarian. Have been for 20 years since I was 16.

I've been asked many times over the years why and never found it rude.

What's rude is when they take the piss or try and persuade me to eat a bacon sandwich

I don't understand why you tell them you are a vegetarian if you think it is none of their business.

Surely not telling them would solve the issue.

Actually, if your food choices are none of their business then you should probably stop eating in front of folk too in case they dare pass comment about what lovely cheese sandwiches the cafe sells etc.

Carpe I would be very happy to avoid your 14 yr old DD.

There are many reasons why people are vegetarian and I also would be interested to find out more about why people had taken that choice. I might learn something, shock horror.

OP - do you have a list of topics that people are allowed to talk to you about?

What about wafer thin ham? You can have some wafer thin ham surely?

Exceptionally rude? Ha ha ha!

You sound fun.....

YABU

I don't think asking why is a silly question at all - and why would it be rude?

As has already been said, there are a number of reasons why a person may avoid eating meat, and each of them could be a conversation point.

I'm vegetarian and have been for 23 years. For me it's because I dont like eating flesh. And I don't mind people asking.

Do you really think this is something worth getting so annoyed about. People ask questions about all sorts of things dont see why this should make you so angry.

You sound very grumpy, you need a good bacon sarnie

"Because I hate plants."

And there are many reasons why people are vegetarian so I can't really see the issue about the question. Someone in my family is a vegetarian because her husband is and she can't be bothered to cook two meals, now she's too used to it to even consider eating meat. A friend of mine has never eaten meat, right from the time she was weaned. Just refused to eat it. Other people I know because of what they believe. You could always ask them why they eat meat.