to leave DS to cry?

[CreamOfTomatoSoup]

He is 6 months and likes boob before sleep. He won't have a bottle, even though he will happily take one in the day, so I know he is comfort sucking.

So how old do babies have to be to learn from CC? I don't really want to do it but can't see any other way around this conundrum. He doesn't have a dummy and I'd rather not introduce one now.

AIBU/Cruel?

Why is it a drag? If you dont mind feeding him to sleep in the day or when he wakes at night, why that one feed?

Tell your DP to take him for a drive or something.

I had a baby who refused to be fed to sleep, hated being rocked, patted, sung to. The only way he'd get to sleep was to grissle/cry it out. I hated it. I wish, wish he'd have fed to sleep. I still fe guilty about it now and he's 5.

Having a baby who feeds to sleep is an easy baby. I have one of them now, its so much easier.

As for 'will he grow out of it?' Well, do you still feed to sleep? I know I dont.

I think some posters are being a bit harsh here no matter what views are on cc at 6 months if you want to reduce reliance on bf at bedtime so you can have the odd night out and not worry then your hardly cruella!

Try breast & bottle feeding.

What is the big issue with a dummy, it might do the trick and you won't have to leave him to cry?

I started leaving DD to cry by accident. I needed a shower one day and she was howling - I just had to leave her! I washed in 10 seconds flat and raced out of the shower only to find her fast asleep. That was a turning point for me as I realised that the crying just doesn't last long. she was well under 6 months at the time. Ever since then, I've left her to fall asleep alone, unless she's ill or distressed or cries for a long time. She falls asleep quickly on the whole.
I also found a book called 'Healthy sleep habits, happy child' useful in this kind of situation. It's very pragmatic, neither for nor against cc, but explains when you might want to use it and how.

You're not being ridiculous, at all - DS was feeding to sleep till 11 months. But YANBU either - it being a bit of a drag is a sufficient reason for you to want to stop. I felt really trapped by the bedtime feed as it meant I could never go out in the evening at all because by the time I'd fed him and put him down it was always too late for the film / theatre / time friends had wanted to meet, and it was a huge relief when we finally dropped it.

A dummy has been my salvation with DC2 and he has stopped using it quite naturally at 14mo.

With my DCs I found they often needed to comfort suck to release trapped wind. Could that be an issue?

They might not remember being left to cry, but it raises their stress levels from an early age. There are links between being left to cry and mental health problems when they are older.

If you want to stop feeding to sleep, then there are better ways to do it. But he is very young, and those telling you that he you are setting yourself up for bad habits are talking bollocks.

He's only 6 months old, no you're not being ridiculous to "still" feed him to sleep.

If you really want to stop feeding him to sleep you don't need to leave him to CIO, there are gentler methods. Have a read of the No Cry Sleep Solution.

CC is not recommended that young. That's my understanding. Speak to your HV and do your research before trying it and get the facts and current recommendations.

I've used cc, although I never called it that, with all 4 babies. Probably from about 6 months, it being a drag is a good enough excuse to me.

I always found it worked pretty quickly, made things much easier.

I hate CC.

I fed DD to sleep til she was just gone 18 months, she then went on to sleep fine on her own.

I think you'll find breastfeeding is much less of a 'drag' than listening to a little baby cry for hours.

Feed him to sleep - who cares how you get him to sleep as long as he sleeps?

snuggle your tiny baby and feed him to sleep. give him all the love he wants and you want to give him. he'll grow up soon enough. the best protection you can give a child, against a harsh world, is a loving family.

"Also my DM suggested I just leave him to cry because he'll have to learn early that 'life is hard'."

At 6 months?

I thought that babies were programmed to go to sleep by feeding? I mean, doesn't breastmilk trigger a hormonal reaction that makes them sleepy if you feed them at night? That to me would suggest that it's the right thing to do. And honestly honestly don't worry about 'bad habits' - a baby falling asleep while being comforted by his mother is not a baby that is learning bad habits - he is learning about love and trust and comfort, all of which are things that you want him to know about.

And he will eventually learn to go to sleep on his own. I fed mine to sleep until he self-weaned, and didn't have any problems at all when I stopped.

ohforducks glad it's not just me - it took us ages to work out (once I'd stopped feeding him to sleep) that our DS liked to cry/grizzle/moan when he was goign to sleep, and us hugging (even quietly) just kept him awake! Felt realloy bad until worked it out...

There's no doubt that feeding to sleep is tying and sometimes very time consuming for the mother. I certainly felt irritated by it at times and of course DH couldn't do it, so it was always down to me.

However, 6 months is far to young for CC of any sort imo. It's natural for a baby to bf to sleep, they use the hormonal hit to drift off. The few people I know who have tried using CC methods said they found it very difficult and in a few cases traumatic. In all cases the mother found it harder than the father. This is because it's an unnatural thing to do. The baby is calling for it's mother, it's comfort and supply of milk. When she doesn't come the baby gets distressed. Eventually, the baby does stop crying. First through complete exhaustion and secondly through learning that however hard it cries, it's mother won't come. It learns that it's efforts are hopeless.

I feed my 6mo to sleep and on the couple of occasions I've not been around at bedtime she took a bottle from her dad and went to sleep no problem. Maybe your DC would too if you were not around. You can buy try.

CC is an emotive issue on here. Personally I don't have the stomach for it but plenty of people I know swear by it.

Non cry sleep training if you prefer are

Pick up put down ( baby whisperer )
Sleep lady shuffle
Elizabeth pantley - the pantley pull out method - good for getting them to sleep without boob

Whatever you choose just be consistent and stick with it.

Yabu, don't leave him to cry, its cruel!

Be reassured, my ds was fed to sleep until around 8 months when he stopped needing it and would feed while awake, come off, be rocked and sung a lullaby and fall asleep in the cot. He's ten months old now and I'll still happily feed him to sleep on the occasions he wants to, usually when he's got a cold.

I did CC with my son at 10 months, when he was still waking 4-5 times a night for boob but would instantly fall back asleep when he got it. TBH I think you could stretch out a few more months, at 6 months my son definitely still needed a feed at bedtime and in the middle of the night. It was when he started wanting more feeds that i was .

Or leave him 5 minutes. It isn't long, it may be long enough.

Don't do it. 6 months is way too young, although personaly for me, any age is too young for CC!
I love feeding to sleep, just makes it soooo much easier. I admit I didn't go out in the evenings for the first year or so of DD's life, after that DH could also get her to sleep and I still feed her to sleep at 2.2yrs as it's the easiest way. Not going out for that year was a small sacrifice for me personally.

The only problem with feeding to sleep on the boob is that op is the only one who can do it. If this is a problem for her, then who are we to judge.
If you want to stop him feeding to sleep at bedtime, be firm, only offer the bottle. If he won't take it from you, have your dh do it until he gets used to the new way of doing things. If he cries about it, comfort him by all means, but not by offering the boob. He will adjust, and he won't be permanently scarred by it any more than if you were trying to get him to sleep in his cot by not offering an alternative but staying with him for comfort.