to refuse to cancel our plans because MiL has deigned to visit?

[freddiefrog]

Coming up to 10 years ago we moved 300 miles away

MiL was awful at the time we moved, she didn't approve of us moving and was a nightmare about it.

Over the years we've been back quite often to visit friends and family and we've had a lot visit us here, but MiL has never darkened our door.

Last month FiL and step MiL came down for a holiday and now MiL has decided she's got to come

Now, over the next few weekends we're really busy, and don't have a completely free weekend before Christmas, kids have loads of activities planned, we're foster carers and have loads of activities planned with our LA, we've booked a day on a steam train to see Santa, DD1 has winter camp with her Scout group, etc

So we explained that if she came before Christmas we'd have to muddle through a bit, or she could come down for New Year, or pretty much any time after.

But no, it absolutely has to be before Christmas and she's throwing a strop because we won't cancel plans to accommodate her.

Love the random insertion of iTunes :o

Am at the nerve of the woman.

I cannot believe her nerve. Oh well at least any time you do spend with her will be diluted by the company of the other relatives. I love SIL just for her existance (she is actually really lovely as well) but just her being there helps me cope with my MIL when we go to stay.

Hope the visit goes as smooth as possible.

The woman is demented but at least, as SoggySummer says, you'll have some dilution there. I'd try to get a companionable coffee and cakes moment with SIL if you can see your way to it - might be illuminating.

And poor you having to deal by yourself with this angst when DH is in Outer Mongolia or somewhere similar.

Hope all the DCs are OK.

You are doing marvellously well, OP, is it years of practise???
I may print off a couple of your texts to keep for when my ILs visit (from abroad). Though sadly we don't get as much warning of their plans. Last time it was a phone call "we are at xxx (our local) airport can DH come and pick us up?" So I had an hour to run round madly changing sheets, flinging Lego into Ds room and wiping the bathroom. Then had to drive to Tesco the next day and do a shop as fil whinged about there being nothing he liked to eat ... Well, duh, if you had let us know I would have bought your heart attack on a plate junk ...

Yes, years of practice. DH and I have been together 21 years (childhood sweethearts - yuk!), but every now and then she does something that is spectacularly mind boggling.

She's massively bloody minded, she's made up her mind that she's coming that weekend so that's what she's doing.

SiL her partner and BiL are all lovely so we should be fine.

There's actually been a change of plan, our fostering activity day has been changed to the Sunday as contact arrangements for some of the other FCs meant they couldn't make it, so we'll have the whole day Saturday now which should make it a bit easier.