AIBU to put tights on my husband during the cold weather?

[TiggyD]

I don't actually have a husband so I'm just talking metaphysically here, but would it be unreasonable to send a husband to work in tights to keep him warm and snug? It would also act as a contraceptive by overheating his love-tadpoles.
Like I said, I'm talking meteorically, but I would worry about my husband walking to work and playing outside during breaktimes in such cold weather as what you get in the winter. I overheard somebody talking about a very painful sounding condition the other day called snowballs and I wouldn't want him to catch that.

AIBU? I believe lots of men already wear tights or ideally stockings to work presumably for the porpoise of warmth. Do your DHs?

Well, talking metaphysically is one thing, but talking meteorically is quite another - just how big are the balls that may/might/could be encased in sperm-melting super heated spandex/cotton mix?

Just regular sized imaginary balls. But as I said, I'm just talking mythically as I don't posses a husband of my own, or anybody else's.

And this isn't about children wearing tights. They can wear what they want. It's about husbands, real or methodical.

I think I punched the porpoise of warmth in the face once...

Anyway, I love wearing tights when I go to work at the bank.

Surely Manly Holdups would preserve the testicular motility?

Frank shows us the way

TiggyD one person's imaginary balls are not another person's imaginary balls...I want spherical dimensions please, or diameter is good. And, do you methodically count bouffant pubes as mythically adding to the size?

Well, my husband is both real and methodical. So he probably has his own secreet stash of tights somewhere.

I've been inspired now though.

I'm getting him a pair of thick, woollen, grey tights; and I'm going to embroider little yellow snowballs on them.

These have a tiny penis pouch. Ideal

the swirly carpet is making me dizzy

For all over body warmth

Could we assume my metaphorical husband has average sized love-clackers.

Holdups never really hold up on men. It may have to be stockings.

This model allows for all clacker sizes

Can't believe that second pic Mardy. They put a man's outfit on a lady mannequin! That's just perverted.

Stop me someone.

< deletes browsing history>

I would like to stop you Mary but...

My dad used to raid M&S every winter for ribbed woolly tights. He used to cut the crotch out though. Was never weird for us. Just work men keeping warm.

Mardy not Mary, I would blame predictive text but it was my own fault, I was distracted by the purple tights

Men don't wear tights they wear a thermal base layer (which is just the same as footless tights but doesn't offend their manliness when they go skiing or snowboarding, etc.).

My mountaineering ex used to wear my tights for climbing.

Hold ups would rip out leg hair.

MardyBra Swirly duvet surely, unless it's a metaphysical super deep shag-pile...and I quite like it.

Don't got confusing me with that Maryzzzz please binky . She has a mind of filth.

Now this is a better look

Looking at the links you've posted up, you've no room to talk!
More links please, I've got a day to myself, I need to be entertained !