To take a job on a phone sex line?

[myphonesexdrama]

Name changer.

I'm skint, on my own with dd who is at school but has a lot of health issues, misses school sometimes and has a lot of appointments to go to.

Finding work to fit in with this is proving bloody hard, I'm not highly qualified!

So I've been browsing work at home things after realising Avon and all that guff isn't for me I came across a company looking for female phone sex chat line operators. Big company, done a lot of googling research and they are legit.

So called them, filled out my application and was offered a start. So logged on last night at 10pm for 3 hours. It was fine. Most of the guys were really nice, some shy, some not, none were creepy! I am an open minded person anyway, and very chatty. I found it very easy to be honest and in those 3 hours I made £12.80 which isn't mega bucks but considering I was sitting in my lounge watching a movie between calls I don't think it's too bad.

I'm thinking I can log on whilst dd is at school and bring in some extra cash.

Will need to register as self employed etc which I will do.

I need to get in touch with them today to let them know what I want to do.

I don't think I could tell anyone though!!

Toomanydaisies - there's a bigger picture here that some don't want to see.

I am with you on your opinion of the sex industry.

And I'm sure your DM and MIL will be proudly telling their friends what you do for a living?

That will be the test - please keep me informed...

Of course there's a bigger picture. But I hate it when feminism starts blaming women for their choices when sometimes they don't HAVE many choices.

And I REALLY hate it when people judge others. We all do shit things that contribute to the patriarchy. People would be far better off inspecting themselves and how they act rather than picking others up all the time.

And I SUPER hate it when people start with all this "I am being mean to you because you are being mean to me". It reminds me of the seven year olds I teach.

seenenoughtoknow I'm sure my mum would be really proud to go around telling her friends about my sex life, but since I'm an adult, I don't really think that how my mum sees my life is relevant any more.

I'm sure your DM and MIL will be proudly telling their friends what you do for a living?
i think my mum, if we could rouse her, would be mildly surprised and want to know all about it. if she could stay awake, she'd want a job...

i also think that yours is a fairly nasty comment.

fromesme But its not your sex life, surely. It's your job.

Well it's not my job, I don't do it any more. It really doesn't matter. If my mum is proud of me, great, if she's not, also great. Her opinion on my life is really not that important as long as I am happy with my decisions.

Again seenenoughtoknow what exactly have you seen enough of to know? You see, until I can appreciate some context, your comments are seemingly pious and I'm sure that you can forgive me for questioning your authority on a subject you seem to know very little about. are you less liberated then you'd like to be?

Also I don't think anyone brags about our jobs. DP is an advertising manager and I teach. "What do you do" cue eyes glazing over!

I'm not going to judge individual women for choosing to do this.

In a wider sense though, I dislike the industry and believe it does further objectification of women. I would hate to do this myself and can't believe you wouldn't end up dealing with some pretty unpleasant characters at some stage.

It seems like sex always gets people riled up. I used to know a woman who did PR for medical companies. My brother tests on animals in a lab. One of the people I used to study with works for Nestle. People just shrug and let them get on with it.

Mention sex though and it's all "won't you think of the greater good, thou harlot?"

It always makes me think that people are just a wee bit icky about sex rather than actually giving a fuck about society.

Okay, sexual abuse at age 9 (by a cousin who viewed too much porn).

The use of prostitutes and the sex industry in general by the ex husband of a good friend (he was a sex addict - addicted to porn, clubs and prostitutes, who has since taken his own life because of his illness which he admitted to my friend came about early in life through the use of porn and phone sex lines).

The destruction of a few marriages of people I know well based around similar things.

The objectification of my daughters in school (lads trying to coerce them into sending naked photo's by phone etc) based on the widely known fact in the school that these boys are watching porn regularly. My daughters being called 'frigid' for not complying.

The serious mental health issues of a couple of the girls at the above mentioned small school, because of things that at 15, their boyfriends persuaded them to do, and did to them, based on the violent sexual images they've watched.

Those reasons form the base of my reason for being here, other things I've seen bare very little relation to this arguement.

Does that satisfy your curiosity Ribena?

This woman's perspective is interesting

www.xojane.co.uk/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-me-i-worked-adult-phone-line

And what does the question about being 'sexually liberated' mean. Do you use being 'sexually liberated' as your excuse for having no morals? And you're a teacher too :O

I have always had a very healthy sex life, as I disn't let my abuse ruin my life...I try to use it as a reason to want better things for my children.

How ridiculously stupid of you to make assumptions on someone's sexual liberation just because they think the sex industry is damaging to women and men.

Of course there's a bigger picture. But I hate it when feminism starts blaming women for their choices when sometimes they don't HAVE many choices

This.

Solid if you're still reading - i've tried to PM you but it won't play ball. I'll try again later, or tomorrow.

sort it out MN!

Cheers for giving those names of companies. I'm serious about giving this a go, but have a few daft questions and need someone who'll indulge me ;)

See, what i was hoping was that someone from this thread was going to sign up, then spend their evenings transcribing the phonecalls on here to give us all a laugh! But it would seem people take life more seriously than i do.

I have an image in my mind of the men who might do this:

Young men, probably pissed, can't actually get any real sex (because they are wankers!).

Married men with specific, errr, needs that they, for whatever reason, don't feel comfortable discussing with their wives. I mean, we all saw the stick the poor sod got when he got it on with the kitchen utensils (some women are so prudish!).

Old guys who either don't have wives anymore or who have wives who are no longer interested in sex.

A small proportion of sick fucks who no one would touch with a barge-pole in real life.

I actually feel more sorry for the men who use these phone-lines than i do the women who work on them. Well, i don't feel sorry for the women who work on them - i'd happily do it if i could make it fit in with my day, right at this moment in time, i can't.

And as someone has alluded to up thread, i will reserve my judgement for the sort of "jobs" that deserve it....Debt collectors being top of that list, i would consider people who do that for a living beyond contempt. I would have far more respect for a prostitute or sex-line worker. Well, just about anyone really.

I have a 22 year old DD, I have often pondered this question, seeing as i would quite happily do this job myself, how i would feel is SHE did this. Well for one thing i would be as she is quite prudish (i really don't knwo WHERE that came from!). I think if i found out she was doing it i would want to have a conversation with her to find out if she was really ok with it, i'd like to think she wouldn't hide it from me. Would i encourage her to do it - absolutely not.

She actually modelled for a body painter a few years ago, to be fair it was just her back but she had to be topless and alot of the other models had their fronts painted. Bless her, in the pics of the preps you could see all the other models quite happily walking around bare chested and there's my DD with some sort of tin foil contraption that covered her modesty!! She was open with me about it, i contacted the artist because i wanted to make sure she wasn't getting involved in something dodgy and wouldn't be alone with someone we didn't know. He was a really nice guy and assured me that this would all be happening in a public space with lots of people around etc. The finished article was great (i dont want to say what as it will identify) but it involved my DD and five other models and I COULDNT HAVE BEEN MORE PROUD, that my DD was comfortable enough with her body to do this. OK it wasn't directly sexual but alot of the other "exhibits" were and well, its the body isn't it so no getting away from it really.

I think that the men who phone are pathetic and the women who do it are good voice actresses and that's it.

I think what troubles me is this ... (taken from the article I linked to)

"I wasn?t a woman with thoughts and feelings and needs of my own, I was merely a tool for them. The men called because it gave them an outlet to be completely selfish and demand what they wanted and hang up the second they?d finished. It was nothing to do with ?me? or who I was.

Which is fine I guess if that?s what they want, but it didn?t make me feel good about myself."

It bothers me that men can reduce women to something they can buy and use. Just a vessel I guess.

The sex chatline worker went on to say:

"And no matter how much I tried to justify ?women?s right to choose? ideologies, in my heart of hearts I felt like my actions weren?t doing womankind any good."

Mumsyblouse: No one is going to force you to do a job you do not want to do. SOme people would rather do phone sex than scrub floors. THat's their business. Your frankly ignorant and smug opinion is not particularly necessary on this thread.

SGB_ no idea whatsoever why you think I shouldn't post on this thread. I have daughters and have thought a lot about what I think is ok and not ok in terms of the sex industry. I am not speaking from a position of smugness, but a deep dislike of the current sexualization of women, part of which includes the constant availability and normalization of commercial sex, of which these sex lines are the tame end.

I posted deliberately because I wanted to provide an alternative view from everyone saying 'go for it, it's just like any other job' because I don't think it is the same, sitting at home talking dirty to get men to come, and I wouldn't do it and I wouldn't want my children to do it or to use it either. I would be devastated if one of my girls grew up and worked in the sex industry in any form, that doesn't mean I would rather they were an animal experimenter or weapons designer as one poster seemed to think was overlooked. But, of course, not many women are top research scientists (compared with men) but lots of women do work in low-paid jobs, sex lines being one, and that's what I feel more angry about; the continued inequalities in childcare and structural circumstances which keep women in part-time low paid jobs and thinking this is the best it can get.

I don't think this is a smug view, I can't see what is liberating about having to fake an orgasm, and I can't see what is liberating about having to fake one down the phone in exchange for money. It is the natural extension of consumer capitalisim into the sphere of sex, in which, again, women are the biggest losers.

But of course it's an individual choice, whoever said it wasn't?

ashesgirl

you could relate those quotes to any menial job. Do you think that the person shopping in the supermarket cares what the till operator is actually like as a person? Or the person scrubbing the floors?

Like I said, it's only sex that people get het up about.

To be clear - I don't pass judgement on people's chosen job. I do however dislike the sex industry. Intensely. And I do feel sad and a bit sick that women (and men) devalue themselves so much. People are not commodities to be bought and sold.

I also think the "what would your mother think" line is a bit misleading. Just because someone is a mother doesn't make them a good judge of career choice.

This is such a sad thread.

mumsyblouse very well said

toomany can you explain to me the difference between selling yourself as a cleaner/teacher/personal trainer and selling yourself as a phone sex worker?

To me, there's just not a huge difference.