To be pissed off that DP has ordered a £1000 bike

[Iodine]

It's through the bike to work scheme so DP sees it as "only £x a month". Trouble is this is on top of "only" £50 a month gym membership, £60 a month boat maintenance etc etc. He earns just slightly above the average wage but I am unemployed at the moment (trying really hard to not be) so he has to pay for all rent, bills food etc.

The worst thing is DP doesn't even cycle. He the least likely person to cycle, especially as winter is here now. He has no intention of cycling to work even though its only 3 miles away, as he doesn't want to arrive to work sweaty. There is a shower but it, of course, doesn't live up to his standards.

We also don't have any space for his bike. He wants it to go in the spare room on the cream carpet. The only space is in front of the wardrobe in there which happens to contain all my clothes as he threw a hissy fit at the thought of sharing the huge in built on in our bedroom.

The only thing I have bought in the 2 months since becoming unemployed is fuel to get to job interviews. Nothing else. I don't see any of his money, whatever he has left at the end of the month is his to spend. Last month he spent £300 on a leather jacket that he didn't particularly need.

AIBU to be angry at him buying the sodding bike?

Why does he think he bought a bike? Because presumably he thinks he will use it... It's not actually the bike, is it? It is that he is financially controlling, mean and selfish. the bike is just a symptom.

He bought a bike because everyone else got one (they spend their weekends cycling and used the scheme to buy better bikes) and didn't want to feel left out.

Apparently.

For the bike? No. For being a selfish cunt? Yes.

What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?

Everyone else got one What, is he 11 years old? You don't get to share a wardrobe in your bedroom. You lose your job and he spends his income on leather jackets and bikes and you are left without. LTB.

I had a talk with him last night, told him that I am wondering why I am putting up with his shit when I could be living my life. He was, of course, full of apologies and swore it would be better.

I am giving him until Christmas but really don't see it working out.

Why on Earth is is 'his' money?

You're married! When I was the only earner, and DH was home with both kids, it was still our money.

Why wait till Christmas? He'll expect a present or he'll buy them for himself.

Sounds immature and a knob.

Chicken, Iodine may have come back with a whole string of great things about him and his wonderful qualities but the fact remains that if this was a fabulous, satisfying and respectful relationship there would be no reason to ask the internet for guidance.

ChickenFillet- Yes we live together, we rent. I gave up my job as we relocated for him to start a new job.

He is not very good with money and never knows what hes got. I doubt he has £300 for a jacket. He has £25,000 debt from a professional loan that IMO should take priority over a jacket.

The wiggy effect!

Oh dear. My OH got caught up in this when he started his new job in September...he's a new graduate, and the bike scheme was something new and exciting. His dad told him everyone else would get one, and he planned it to the T - the Olympics didn't help.

I convinced him to wait and when he picked last week he went for travel insurance for me instead, without even mentioning the bike scheme.

You do need to speak to him about the money problems though. As others have said, the bike itself isn't an issue - it'll probably still be new in 3 months, and so you can sell it on - it's not an unsaveable situation. But his lack of generosity and care towards his family is, and I don't think I could live like that for very long.

He is bad with money and selfish. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

25K of debt! Fucking hell!

Thank god you are not married. Walk away and find someone who cares about you and respects you, and isn't such a financially irresponsible and selfish twunt.

GO back to your home town and stay there!

He is a waste of space and will take you down with him when his debt and stupid spending catch up with him.

Leave.

Leave now, or else you'll be posting about how he's bought a 3k motorbike in secret whilst you're looking after your 6mo DD.

it'll probably still be new in 3 months, and so you can sell it on

If he bought it through the cyclescheme he won't be able to sell it. Taken from FAQ on cycle scheme about who has ownership of the bike
The bike and equipment remain the property of the employer throughout the hire period, unless the employer uses a finance company to fund the bikes; in this case the finance company or funding bank will own the bikes.

Strangely, the debt is not a huge problem to me IF he bucks up his ideas and starts making sacrafices to pay it back. He took it out to train and has now got himself a sensible career.

Can you see why im horrified at all of these little "its only x amount per month"? Because to me thy could all be going towards the debt.

YANBU, not at all.

He seems immature.

No, YANBU and he appears to have missed how the bike to work scheme works. £1000 is the max you can spend and you have to pay off the balance at the end of the year.

I cycle 6 miles a day to work and back. I manage it on a £150 bike. He's been a gigantic selfish twat.

Oh, I see you are not married.

Sorry, but I'd leave him immediately.