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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms

449 replies

Alligatorpie · 30/10/2012 06:27

pil's were just visiting ( for 10 days) and I lost track of the times FIL came into my bedroom. He normally has a problem with boundaries, and after being with dh for 15 years, i am used to it.

Either I was in there, or the dc's were, so to my knowledge he doesn't go in there alone, he doesn't snoop around, he just talks to whoever is in there.

But I would never go into another adults bedroom - we stayed at pil's house for six weeks and I don't think I ever went in their bedroom.

AIBU to think you should respect some spaces in other people's houses? Or is this normal behavior? and no , I didn't confront him.

OP posts:
MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 21:48

Hounded?

Disagreed with would be how I would put it.

And I disagree with you too.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 21:48

Not really when they are in that context no they don't.

The context being having sex with the incredible hulk.

He's fucking green and he's fucking angry.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 21:49

I've been completely reasonable with mrs and ed in my discussions.

I don't agree with them or you but it's far from a hounding.

Ohsiena · 30/10/2012 21:50

Yes it was starting to feel more like hounding than disagreeing to me.

So I posted in support.

I expected you to disagree.

ISeeDeadFairies · 30/10/2012 21:50

I think the phase has been taken completely out of context of the post and has actually become more about the fact that a man did it!

If not for the nn no one would even know it was a man! I find that kind of blatant sexist comment far more disturbing than a joke about the hulks sex life tbh

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 21:50

Oh and we can say your words made me feel x.

Then he said, sorry I meant y.

This is what happened, and people continually refusing to accept it is what I call hounding as well.

Ohsiena · 30/10/2012 21:53

It was actually about someone using a hulk strap on for angry fucking.

Angry fucking suggests sexual violence.

Enfyshedd · 30/10/2012 21:53

ExP's DSis once had to stay at ours for a few days longer than planned due to problems getting home. I came home from work one of the extra days to find her wearing a pair of my socks which she'd got out if my drawer. ExP never understood why it pissed me off so much that his sis had gone into my (& his) room and gone through my belongings.

Think the relationship was doomed from then...

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 21:53

I've been perfectly reasonable. I can't help it of other posters disagreed too, I've held off a little bit to be honest as bobbly mentioned it did become a bit of a pile on but when so many people disagree with you this can happen.

I fear this is all being blown out of proportion as a man said it.

I think that a real bond fide joke about sexual violence would be disgusting coming from a man OR a woman.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 21:57

I agree with "I think that a real bona fide joke about sexual violence would be disgusting coming from a man OR a woman".

Which is why the whole thing is weird. Implying that it would be an ok thing to say if a woman said it, but not ok because it was a man.

That is what I'm struggling with.

And I don't agree it is a pile-on at all. It is a difference of opinions.

Ohsiena · 30/10/2012 21:59

Posters appeared much more angry, disprportionately so, with MrsC for being offended than she ever appeared with Beardy for the original comment.

Anyhow, you all also seem generally disproportionatly het up about her and my own offence now, compared to the actual level of my offence, which was more just 'urrgh' so I'll leave you to further prove how wrong we are.

Just wanted to say MrsC and Ed it wasn't just you.

Babymamaroon · 30/10/2012 22:00

Yanbu at all. My MIL does this and helps herself to my perfume while she's at it. She goes into my cupboards and takes out bags and stuff that she wants to use. She'd be welcome if she asked but it's the 'taking' that I don't like. She's a bitch in general though and I think she does it to be deliberately disrespectful. Your FIL doesn't sound like that fortunately. Not nice though!

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 22:00

It's always hard on a thread when say 8 people disagree with 2.

I agree it's not fair to accuse people of hounding and the like as we are all entitled to stick up for our own point of view.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 22:01

People keep saying they aren't particularly offended yet posting to complain

Funny that.

Ohsiena · 30/10/2012 22:03

Er, I think 'people' is actually just me in that category isn't it Pickled???

And I think I've explained myself on that sufficiently. No point repeating it.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 22:05

No I'll think you will find ed said the same.

No repetitions necessary.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 30/10/2012 22:44

That comment from the beardy one was, in my opinion, jarring

it came out of nowhere, for no seeming reason

as I scanned the thread, I did a little involuntary sharp intake of breath and I use the word "fuck" a lot (see up there ^^)

it's when it comes out of left field and tied together with "angry" that people's hackles rise

in the interests of sticking up for folk, I wanted to add my two pennorth

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 22:56

That's fair enough. Its not to everyone's taste and people have every right to say of not.

I'm just sticking to my 2 points on it

Just in case they have been lost:

  1. shouldn't matter if he said it or me if you find it yuck jarring or anything else

  2. it's not a joke about sexual violence. I don't think it's fair to call it that.

Ohsiena · 30/10/2012 22:58

jarring is a good word.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 22:59

Sorry I do have to say I do disagree about the context as it swiftly followed a comment on hulk strap on cockys.

I wasn't very shocked therefore.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker · 30/10/2012 23:00

tbh though (and this will certainly get the hackles rising...) what I have found most offensive on this thread is the arse-licking of the beardy one

grim

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 23:01

Dunno it's not like the subject was on kittens.

I can see how it could be jarring on a different thread but as soon as I saw the hulk cocky I was aware the thread may go in a certain direction.

TeaBrick · 30/10/2012 23:02

I took it to be a joke about what an incredible hulk strap on would be like, in reference to an earlier post where someone had said "or a black rubber incredible hulk strap on cocky".
The main characteristics of the incredible hulk are that he is green and angry. That is what the joke is based on.
I don't find sexual violence funny either.
I think strap ons are pretty unlikely to be used by men on women, happy to be corrected on that though if I'm wrong.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 23:03

See, I did a little SIOB at the strap on. I noticed that more than the fucking.

And what Pickled said.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 23:04

Ah now that's just being rude isn't it.