To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms

[Alligatorpie]

pil's were just visiting ( for 10 days) and I lost track of the times FIL came into my bedroom. He normally has a problem with boundaries, and after being with dh for 15 years, i am used to it.

Either I was in there, or the dc's were, so to my knowledge he doesn't go in there alone, he doesn't snoop around, he just talks to whoever is in there.

But I would never go into another adults bedroom - we stayed at pil's house for six weeks and I don't think I ever went in their bedroom.

AIBU to think you should respect some spaces in other people's houses? Or is this normal behavior? and no , I didn't confront him.

It does come across as a bit no one else can offend anyone, but me, If that's how I feel I`ll say it.

If there was a specific thread about should there be separate boards for the men and women then its open for discussion, but using someone's gender against them regarding a joke which to be honest you're said you didn't even find that bad is different.

What if I decided to out of nowhere start a discussion if say Americans should be on here (just plucking out of the air) as our sense of humour can sometimes differ?

I have to say I agree with Maryz here Ed.

Thats not why they had a hard time bobbly but it is time to call it quits I quite agree.

Fuck knows whats in that cupboard but it sure as shit aint a hulk jobbie as they dont exist!

Couthy I have not mentioned my past at all, MrsC might have. I said how I felt. Hoity Toity and Po if you like. I think those are things people try to be though and I wasn't trying to be anything. I just said how I felt.

anyway

We are all saying how we feel.

Weve all said how we feel and we all know where everyone is coming from.

Lets forget about it now innit.

Bobbly

Sheesh, if I came out with some of the stuff I do with old friends and Dh in RL on here, you'd all hunt me down and cut my throat

Come on! You cant leave us hanging. My mind is boggling.

Men are fundamentally different to women. Americans are not fundamentally different to people from anywhere else.

I think that's part of it.

Thanks Pickled.

EEEEDDDDDDDDD.

I dont even agree, we are all on a spectrum, I am more manly than some men, and some men are more womanly than me.

I must make an apology to EdsRedeemingQuailities. I made a very flippant comment earlier. I may not agree with all that you are saying, but I did not have the right to comment as though your feelings did not matter..

My fil doesn't seem to have boundaries either. He has wandered into our bedroom before and has even opened drawers! I feel it a bit of an evasion of privacy.

Pil were at my mums house on the day of my dads funeral and fil was wandering about her house too and he was in her bedroom...I'm not sure if he is totally oblivious or just really bad mannered and disrespectful. I suspect the latter from other things he does!

See, this is why I'm persevering.

To state "men are fundamentally different to women" is completely irrelevant on this thread. To say that you question whether men should be here is completely wrong.

I'm really surprised you can't see this.

I cannot understand how you can say it is ok for an anonymous person who you think is a woman to use a word, whereas it isn't ok for another anonymous person who you think is a man to use the same word.

I'm happy to leave it, when you stop doing that . Until then, I'm going to continue to say you are wrong. Because, in my opinion, you are.

Pickled, no way, not on MN. You don't wanna go there

Exactly Chicken, that's why I mentioned "gender, race, nationality, social class, family circumstances or anything else"

We are all members of a forum. We are all entitled to equal treatment.

BloodyNora must be fruity.

Sorry, chicken fillets! I'll amend that to say that anyone can use this forum, make, female, parents, no children, purple Martians.

I'm not sharing a board with Martians ! Not after watching v.

Well as long as they promised not to make me have a snake baby.

Scarred me that did.

You have to laugh at mumsnet though ey.

Started off about bedrooms and ended up with hulk cocky arguments.

But (said bracingly) it's an anonymous forum Pickled. I might be a Martian (a nice one of course).

You don't know who you are sharing the board with [comforting]

I mean, I know it's Hallowe'en, but have you seen all the Zombies .

Well I think the term angry fucking is quite disturbing too.

Yes it was a joke, but one which contained a phrase which made me think 'ohh not nice.'

And yes more disturbing when used by a man as sexual violence is usually perpetrated by men against women.

It's the old you can make jokes about your own family/culture thing but not against other families cultures. Or the use and meaning of racial language within a culture vs use by another outside culture differs hugely, and great care needs to be taken. Same kind of thing.

I wouldn't have bothered posting but it feels like MrsC has been labelled some kind of humourless prude, and hounded now way out of proportion in relation to her quite calm short initial objection.

So I just wanted to say, actually I agree with her. Angry fucking is a deeply disturbing term whether used in a joke or not.

That would be the case perhaps if it was actually a joke about sexual violence.

But it wasn't.

So it's not.

People are perfectly entitled say any joke makes then uncomfortable but I find it uncomfortable that people are falsely labelling it as a violence sex comment.

To me the words angry and fucking together suggest sexual violence.

They don't to you.

You can't claim it's not about sexual violence any more than I can. We can merely state how we interpret it and how it makes us feel.

I feel it's disturbing.