Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms

449 replies

Alligatorpie · 30/10/2012 06:27

pil's were just visiting ( for 10 days) and I lost track of the times FIL came into my bedroom. He normally has a problem with boundaries, and after being with dh for 15 years, i am used to it.

Either I was in there, or the dc's were, so to my knowledge he doesn't go in there alone, he doesn't snoop around, he just talks to whoever is in there.

But I would never go into another adults bedroom - we stayed at pil's house for six weeks and I don't think I ever went in their bedroom.

AIBU to think you should respect some spaces in other people's houses? Or is this normal behavior? and no , I didn't confront him.

OP posts:
MrsCantSayAnything · 30/10/2012 20:23

Beardy Yes, yes...but I do get paid for sharing mine so the chances are that it's quite well developed thank you.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MrsCantSayAnything · 30/10/2012 20:23

(hides thread)

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 20:24

Are you Miranda?

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:25

x-posted. I'm glad you realise that this argument is stupid Grin

Lots of things get broadcast and presumably their writers get paid, and they are still not funny, imo. But I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I just turn them off.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 30/10/2012 20:25

Oh crikey.

I'm out of my depth now, but fwiw it was the word 'fucking' appearing suddenly, out of nowhere, from the keyboard of a lone male on a female thread.

It's a very powerful word. That's what did it for me. That's all I can really say about it. I don't normally find it that comfortable to see, as a word in itself, but when a man comes along and blurts it out on here seemingly with no particularly good reason, it makes me sit up.

There are many many less emotive/violent words for the same thing that would have been just as funny, so why use fucking.

I know he's apologised and I bear no grudge, but analytically, it's interesting - especially in that it seemed to affect two of us at least, when we read it - it just seemed a bit unnecessary and inappropriate. However innocently it was intended.

Fwiw I didn't want to make any sort of point as MrsC says she did. I didn't get that far. I just said it made me feel strange and I didn't think a man on here should use language with such strong overtones in that way, which in turn made me question the male presence, etc etc etc.

I have to go to bed. Sorry for offending anyone by being offended/things I said.

vixcyn · 30/10/2012 20:27

Oh for God's sake...it is a WORD...build a bridge, get over it..

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 20:28

Well seeng as the second post on the thread mentioned a strap on it wasn't that out of context really.

If I was a bit sensitive to that sort of thing I wouldn't have read on to be honest, but not would I expect other people to stop joking about something on my behalf.

I abhor jokes like some of the shit that comes our of frankie boyles gob and I would say so but come on, this is right tame.

EdsRedeemingQualities · 30/10/2012 20:35

Well maybe I'm wrong.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:39

Come on Eds Shock

Are you saying you were more surprised by the appearance of the word "fucking" on mumsnet than you were by the words " black rubber incredible hulk strap on cocky".

But instead of commenting on them (posted by a woman) you chose to notice the post by the one and only man, and make a massive issue about whether or not male posters in general should be allowed to post on here.

Your comments about "male presence" are unacceptable and your attitude to male posters is disgusting. You have no right to question anyone's presence on here, particularly because of their gender, race, nationality, social class, family circumstances or anything else.

In my opinion you owe the "male posters" an apology for questioning their right to be here.

ScaryBeardyDeadyman · 30/10/2012 20:41

Have I ever told you just how much I love you Maryz? Grin

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:43

I reckon in some parallel universe we could have had a lovely relationship Beardy Grin

in your dreams

EdsRedeemingQualities · 30/10/2012 20:44

That's full on Mary. I didn't make a massive issue of it, I mentioned it.

I'm going to bed.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 20:45

This is an open forum for everybody. Questioning a persons presence is not on.

ISeeDeadFairies · 30/10/2012 20:46

How do you know he is a lone male on this thread?

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 30/10/2012 20:46

Sorry all, you're all wrong. I'd LOVE Wolverine to run his claws down my back...mmmmmmm...

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 20:47

Alreet who else has a knob? Hands up?

EdsRedeemingQualities · 30/10/2012 20:48

I didn't question a person's presence. I questioned the presence of men in general on MN. It's been done before. And it was a question, not a conclusion.

Note my later comments about many of the men on here being great

and the explanations I offered for even thinking about it

I can't be bothered to go through it all again. Sorry.

PickledFanjoCat · 30/10/2012 20:48

Strap ons dont count.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:49

You did make a massive issue. You posted about a dozen times about it, including the fact that you wouldn't have minded if a woman said it (which makes it worse imo).

You can't (or at least shouldn't) treat posters differently because of their gender.

This is an anonymous internet forum. We are all entitled to be here equally and post equally whoever we are.

MaryZcary · 30/10/2012 20:50

I have one Pickled. Currently mine is in the pub, attached to dh Grin. Does that count?

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 30/10/2012 20:53

I use the word 'fucking' sometimes. I'm not a man.

I have had a 'past' that could maybe affect me like yours could. I choose not to let it. It was two men that were bastards towards me, not all men.

Just because I was raped at 4, and had a rapist as a partner for a few years, it doesn't mean I've joined the Po, or that I'm going to generalise that all men are the same.

This forum may be called Mumsnet, but it is for ALL parents, whether they are in possession of a vagina or a penis makes no odds, they are still PARENTS.

Generalising about 50% of the human race on the basis of their gender is just as wrong as generalising about homosexuals, or any other group of people that share a certain characteristic.

It was just a response (and a funny one at that) to a previous comment.

You didn't find it funny. I don't find knock knock jokes funny, but I don't get all hoity toity when someone else does.

Different sense of humour is all that is, same as some people like slapstick and others don't.

Where's the peace and love?!

EdsRedeemingQualities · 30/10/2012 20:54

Yes Mary I responded to people who took it up. Should I just have ignored them?

anyway, you're right, I'm wrong. Probably. Good night.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 30/10/2012 20:55

Oh, and to the OP - YANBU, I would hate it too. My Ex-MIL used to go through my knicker drawer and refills my undies.

BobblyGussets · 30/10/2012 20:55

Ed and Mrs, sorry you both got a hard time for feeling uncomfy and for saying so. I do think you've been challenged enough though now, it's like a pile-y on. Come on everyone, lay off. Sheesh, if I came out with some of the stuff I do with old friends and Dh in RL on here, you'd all hunt me down and cut my throat. Even the people telling off Ed and Mrs for not liking SBDM's joke.

Did RedGreenRouge ever come back and tell us what she has in her bedroom cupboard?