To think you should stay out of other people's bedrooms

[Alligatorpie]

pil's were just visiting ( for 10 days) and I lost track of the times FIL came into my bedroom. He normally has a problem with boundaries, and after being with dh for 15 years, i am used to it.

Either I was in there, or the dc's were, so to my knowledge he doesn't go in there alone, he doesn't snoop around, he just talks to whoever is in there.

But I would never go into another adults bedroom - we stayed at pil's house for six weeks and I don't think I ever went in their bedroom.

AIBU to think you should respect some spaces in other people's houses? Or is this normal behavior? and no , I didn't confront him.

I'm a feminist.

I'm also a massive Marvel Comics fan.

I got Beardy's joke and I laughed. I didn't see any inappropriateness at all, given that when Bruce Banner becomes the Hulk it's because he gets angry, so any fucking the hulk would do would, automatically, be of an angry nature.

I can also see that someone not knowing that could just see the words 'angry fucking' and be upset by it. However I do think that to judge those words differently because they came from a man is just looking for a fight. As is calling over 'the feminists' for a barney.

And fwiw we were never "allowed" into our parents room as kids even though the door was always open - it just wasn't even considered do-able and when a visiting kid went in there it seemed terribly naughty. DD is continually in and out of our bedroom. Possibly because of co-sleeping?

My dilemma:

Whether to use humour as my muse and annoy people without intent or to be serious and defend myself and be referred to as unpleasant and not the kind of man you'd want to be around...

Damned if you do...

Or beardy you could just try an apology?

He has apologised!!!!! Several times!!!!

Well I don't know the male poster so have no view.

I have no problem with men on here generally.

And like lots of men and love a few.

I know about the Hulk and understand how this joke is structured to play on the 'don't make me angry persona.'

I still found the term angry fucking to be jarring (still a good word) and understand how it suggests sexual violence.

Im not 'a bit thick' based on general measures such as qualifications/IQ, but you can judge me as this if you chose.

I wouldn't have picked this 'silly argument' but, as Ive said, felt that MrsCs position was so isolated and so attacked I needed to speak up and state my understanding of her difficulty with this term.

Apparently all this makes me thick and pathetic. Lovely.

Third option: Hide the thread.

Beardy if you actually want advice it would be say 'oops sorry really didn't mean it like that, just was just a hulk thing' and then have kept well away from the nastiness which ensued.

Hi rhinestone. Did you read the thread or just see a bandwagon that had an empty seat?

I apologised that someone had taken offense at the pun I made in relation to another poster's existing joke. I explained the joke. I did not at any point advocate sexual violence.

Any other points you'd like me to clarify?

Why should he have to? No one else did and those that tried to explain joke etc were accused of "arse licking"

You mean like this, Ohsiena -

ScaryBeardyDeadyman Tue 30-Oct-12 13:46:51

MrsC my apologies that you're offended by the comment. It was based on the fact that Bruce banner only becomes the incredible hulk when angry and is incapable of acts other than those borne out of anger when in said state. No offense intended at any point.

ohsiena why should I not defend myself? And why did you feel the need to join in the nastiness?

Almost 24 hours ago, and long, long before any nastiness.

And once again I will point out that it is damn near impossible for a male to use a strap on. We have some parts that get in the way and make the process redundant anyway! So how this could have been a joke about male on female sexual violence is a bit of a mystery.

Yeah I read the thread. What in my post gave you impression I didn't?

Did you read the thread or just see a bandwagon that had an empty seat?

Love that your first inclination is to make a rather juvenile and angry attack. Think I'll stick with my first impression of you.

I note you did offer your apologies to MrsC, I missed that. Trouble is it doesn't come across as very sincere and most of your comments have been defensive and making light of people's offense.

Yep it's the then kept away form the unpleasantness with his cheeky banter bit that I also suggest would have been helpful, MaryZ.

Defend yourself all you like Beardy. It was advice not a rule.

I don't believe I've been 'nasty' I think I've just argued the other side, which I thought needed doing due to the isolation and personal attacks on MrsC and Ed.

Oh as opposed to those of us who are unhappy at the personal attacks on beardy and pickled?

I say again I think this is very unfair on the op. if you wish to continue it should be it's own thread

Ah, life is too short to be angry! Not too short to be juvenile, you are correct, otherwise I wouldn't have made a joke about a giant green strap on

My apology was sincere. I am sorry that she took offense where none was given. I do not apologise for the joke however as I do not believe I have anything to apologise for.

You start the thread, you're still here discussing it too, 'derailing the thread'.

^^^ look the you are. Sheesh.

Those very few of us arguing against this are, on a bandwagon, derailing the thread. What are the rest of you then?? Logic anyone?

I've stated repeatedly and clearly I don't want another thread. (how do you keep missing this??).

You keep calling for one, put it where you like.

Grinning when posters closing comments are, go fuck yourself with your pathetic pearl clutching, just about sums up the level of debate here.

I'm surprised at some posters who've aligned themselves with this, whatever their original views on the joke, there are a few on here who's ld have expected to see the level this has reached and want to disassociate.

oh that's all it is though. He apologised yet your all out for blood. If it was a woman poster fuck all would be said so in my view its sexist. But I guess that's ok because its against a man. It's bullshit tbh.

So I'm not allowed to find a post amusing?

Would you like to follow me on here just so you can police me to your way of thinking? I think I have my late gmothers pearls somewhere. I shall go dig them out....