To think that 11 years old boy should not be in a female changing room?

[superpushymum]

Last night I went to a hotel swimming pool. After the swim I was taking a shower in the female changing room. I left the towel on the hook nearby.

When I got out, there was (what I thought) a teenage boy literally staring at me. The towel was out of reach, so I had to run back into cubicle and squeeze myself into my dirty bathing suit.

I don't like confrontation, so I just went out to reception and asked the pool attendant to speak to the mother of the boy. She was also shocked and asked the family to move to the family changing room.

After she left, the mother started to shout that everybody is mad in this hotel and she is not going anywhere.

At the end I had approached her myself and asked her to take the boy out. She told me she can't understand a word of what I am saying (I am foreign and got a slight accent), so I completely lost it by that point and called the assistant again. The boy's mother started saying that her son is 'only' eleven and I should stop being ridiculous and just get on with it. At that stage she also removed her clothes infront of her son and changed into the bathing suit.

I told her I just can't undress infront of him, she got into a strop and told her kids 'come on, let's go to another changing room, this nasty woman does not want you here'.

Was I am unreasonable, or maybe it's a cultural difference, and it's ok in UK to have 11 year olds in the changing rooms? If it was 11 year old girl in a male changing room, would it still be ok?

So in an ideal world, there'd be family changing rooms (maybe pay a couple of quid for them), single sex rooms & a big Let It All Hang Out We're All In It Together room? .

I think, culturally, we have a way to go before we reach that point.

There are many societies around the world where men and women manage to see each other as people first and have no problem being naked in each others presence...I would like ours to be one of them.

It never will be. It is quite clear from MN that many women never let their DP see them naked or their own DCs, they have huge problems being examined by a doctor and don't even look at themselves full length-the idea that they are going to let it all out in front of all and sundry in the changing room is ludicrous!

Exactly I'm not really comfortable with my body but even if I were it would not mean I wanted to show it off to everyone. It's also ludicrous to suggest that such a method would somehow desensitise hormonal teenagers (of either gender)

When I go swimming I choose a cubicle, I do so because I am not a nudist and do not want to be naked in front of others, or indeed to see others naked. My 11 yr old ds with SN uses the men's quite confidently. There is no reason to change the status quo which, as far as I'm concerned, is perfectly enlightened and respects an individuals right to privacy.

We don't, and never will, live in an ideal world.
No over 8s is a reasonable compromise.

I don't mind generally, but I was once in a communal room where a group of teenage girls came in, all tall and thin with legs up to their armpits, and there was no way that I was getting changed in front of them. I don't have a weight problem, but I was well over twice their age and have had 3 children so I wasn't going to put it all on show! (therefore definitely not for 11 yr old boys)

My DH is the only one who sees me naked and that's the way it has always been within my family. Always covered up around my DC apart from when they were babies. I like my privacy.

This thread is three and a half years old...

page24 Honey, this is a very very old Zombie post.

Page has also bumped up a nearly 12 year old thread.

Is she on some sort of mission to resurrect as many threads as possible?

Yes they seem to have been on a zombie thread resurrection spree.

Whilst it's not appropriate for an 11 year old boy to be in the female changing room, as a parent of two pre teen DSs, I do worry slightly about sending them alone into male toilets/public changing rooms. A 14 year old boy was sexual assaulted recently in a cinema toilet near here, by an older man. Very worrying indeed.

Oh. Just seen zombie comments.

Page bumped a zombie nudist thread too. I think there's a theme here.

Definitely ban male zombies from the changing room. Actually, not entirely keen on female zombies being in there, either. Is that zombieist of me?

What would happen to a zombie if it jumped into a swimming pool?

In some books zombies walk through water and can just hang about there waiting for people to swim past!

There is a very scary scene in Charlie Higgson's The Enemy (teens book) involving a pool, some kids and some zombies - it doesn't end well

Fouled zombie parts all float off in different directions?

Would not foulded

this thread has obviously been resurrected in response to the gender issue.

i.e. is it ok to strip in front of an 11 yo, if he identifies as female.
with his little 4cm boner

No this ZOMBIE thread was resurrected by someone who went round last night resurrecting loads of old threads and has subsequently been deleted.