MIL deliberately ignoring my wishes..AIBU or is she?!

[havingastress]

Quite prepared to accept it's me who's being unreasonable...

BUT I literally had the biggest stress out yesterday!

Baby due literally ANY minute, am being induced this week. It's her second grandchild.

We found out we were having a girl at the 20 week scan (with hindsight, won't find out again, but there you go!) ...and told parents and inlaws. Her first reaction was...Ooooh great I love all the little pink clothes and outfits you can get.

Now....daft I know..but I BLOODY HATE PALE PINK BABY CLOTHES!!! You know...the whole rows of the stuff in Asda, Next, M+S. it's that insipid pink. Ewww. Anyway, I laughed and told her, Oh god please NO PINK..Honestly, I don't like it and I won't be dressing my daughter in it. Please save your money!! She was categorically told for want of a better way of putting it!

My mum has bought us 5 beautiful outfits for our daughter - each time she phoned before she purchased, described how it looked and asked would I be ok with her buying it.. Totally over the top as it's my mum and I know she has brilliant taste! But I appreciated her respect, and she said she knew from personal experience how annoying it is to receive loads of stuff you don't like because then you feel pressurized into using it because you feel guilty.

MIL turned up yesterday with a bin liner. A bin liner FULL of a mix of second hand clothes, car boot purchases, ebay purchases and some reduced sale stock from Asda and Next. ALL BLOODY PINK. THE WHOLE BLOODY LOT. A ridiculous amount of clothes that I have no idea where to put. She actually said, 'I know you said no pink, but come on, it's a girl, I want her to wear pink'

I was blazing! I feel as though she is deliberately ignoring my wishes, spending money needlessly (which then makes me feel guilty) and forcing HER wishes/beliefs onto me.

I know if I get rid of them to the charity shop/ebay she will open the wardrobe and demand to know where they are. The stuff with tags I took the whole lot back last night and swopped for 9-12months plain babygros etc that will be used and we will be very grateful for.

So...AIBU or is she? And even if it's ME being U, how the hell do I get her to stop buying loads of crap that I don't want?!

Would it be a better option for you to visit you ILs, then you can leave when you have had enough?

Your dh needs to stop apologising. It will probably take him some time and a bit of practice to get used to it after a lifetime of appeasing her. But he is a father now and he has more immediate responsibilities.

I'm glad that you are able to put it all in perspective though. It's so not important in the grand scheme of things. Either MIL will fit in around your family, or she won't. It's her choice.

Happy one weekaversary

How the hell is she planning on staying with you when you're in a one bedroom flat anyway?

Monster mil aside, how are you finding breastfeeding op? Just remember, constant guzzling is normal and milk supply can take many weeks to establish so do find help/reassurance on the bf boards if you need it! Or pm me anytime x

Think DH needs to get a grip and man up. He has his own family now, which means his mother is down the pecking order of importance.

Stop being a sap and saying "sorry" as that undoes all the previous conversations he had with her when he was firm (ish).

If she starts her crap again he needs to be blunt and to the point.

Cant see how her phone call came as a surprise really - afterall you knew she would phone continuously, so just brace yourself each time it rings and put her in her place!!

Wow why do some people think yabu?

Yadnbu. Your baby, you can dress her how you like. You are not being hormonal in finding this behaviour rude and insensitive. Does she think you have carried this child for 9 months so she can have a doll to dress? I would be

Oops didn't notice how long this thread is! Things have moved on! Congrats op and hope your dh helps you keep crazy mil at bay