AIBU to think this woman is totally bonkers and unfair on her children

[issey6cats]

saw on msn main page a 61 year old woman in brazil has given birth to twins, not a surrogate but for herself, aibu to think that at this age she will be exhausted all the time, wont live to see these children past say thier thirties and is being unfair having children when most parents are looking forward to retiring and taking life a bit easier, not plunging into new motherhood, am not slating older mothers but i had my children between the ages of 18 and 24 and that was hard enough work

[JaquelineHyde]

Inneed I'm sorry but I think you are a fool with no grasp of the real world and how it works.

Do you also feel that those of us who have disabilities or minor mental illnesses shouldn't be having children as well because it would be unfair on them?

[TheFogsGettingThicker]

But at least your mum hasn't had the extra factor of carrying and developing the baby, which would be very stressful for an older body.

That would make it more do-able for Jacqueline's mum (who is a star).

[honeytea]

SS wouldn't let a 65 year old adopt a child because there are more ideal options. SS also wouldn't let an 18 year old adopt a child.

[halcyondays]

From what I've read, it would be very unusual for a child to be adopted by someone more than 45 years older than they are.

[honeytea]

And if those of us that wouldn't be allowed to adopt a child shouldn't have had kids than most of us wouldn't have kids.

[JaquelineHyde]

Yes I agree that the process of the pregnancy would be amazingly hard on an older persons body (I'm currently pg and at 34 I feel like I'm about 90 )

[halcyondays]

A 21 year old can apply to become an adoptive parent.

[JaquelineHyde]

You need to be 21 to adopt although most agencies will no consider anyone under 25. There is no legal upper limit.

Does this mean that anyone who has had a child under 21 or 25 should be considered selfish as they clearly aren't being viewed as capable of raising a child through adoption?

FYI - I do not agree with the above statement in any way shape or form.

[Inneedofbrandy]

Sorry jaq I feel your the fool who cannot grasp the implications of having twins at 61 =

[Birdsgottafly]

It is fair to say that the average 61 year old cannot be (and possibly should not) be approved for IVF.

That is why individual cases are looked at.

In the UK, a doctor wouldn't approve this, on ethical grounds.

Our oldest foster carerer couple are 74, they takes babies until they (usually) go into the adoption system and can have up to three under 5's (their choice).

They always give exeptional care, even to babies with disabilities/withdrawal issues.

They have won awards as they have been fostering for over 50 years, they amaze me, tbh.

[InSPsFanjoNoOneHearsYouScream]

It depends on the person. My mum had me at 17 but also has a 2.7 year old and a 1.8 year old. She is 40, her husband is 53.

My mum has lost both her parents. they died before she was even 30.

Age doesn't matter tbh as people dying happens and age barely has anything to with it.

[Birdsgottafly]

I think that is is worth noting that she had to be delivered at 31 weeks and the babies are in SCBU weighing 2 pounds each, because of the strain on her body.

So the ability to carry to term and how the parents would cope with any health problems has to be considered, before a doctor decides to go ahead.

The doctor had worked with the couple for 20 years, through their IVF attempts.

[Inneedofbrandy]

It actually makes me quite cross that's there's women who do this and want a baby so bad and yet there's babies being born abused and not wanted. I know it's easy to say well adopt if you want a child so bad but I really feel people should consider it more before try go round having babies at 61.

[TheBigJessie]

This thread is bizarre. Very, very bizarre.

[honeytea]

Inneedofbrandy did you adopt an unwanted abused child or did you/will you have a biological child? Why should anyone purposfully bring a child into the world when there are children needing homes?

[TheBigJessie]

Because it's oddly reminiscent of other threads where the discussion went completely differently!

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

Lola - Yes at 18 i was young i had no life experiance. In the next 3 years i lived on my own was made homeless went bankruped, got a job got a degree was hospalised got engaged and broke up.

I learned more about myself and the world that i ever wanted to. I got engaged at 22, married at 25 had my first child at 26 yo.

I would not like my children to learn to grow up the hard way like i did. But life happens.

[Inneedofbrandy]

There is not enough children in the world for everyone to adopt a child honey.

[maddening]

My mum is 59 and still ovulating and yet to go through menopause - I doubt she's going to have a baby as is looking forward to the mad parties and cruises of her retirement but physically she could still without ivf have a baby at 60

[honeytea]

There is not enough children in the world for everyone to adopt a child honey

No but there are certainly lots of children needing a home, by your logic those children should be adopted before anyone considers having a birth child.

[Inneedofbrandy]

How have you took me saying women who are so desperate to have a child that have one at 61 (and pay through the nose to) and me or anybody else who has not been that desperate to have a child and wouldn't pay stupid amounts at 61. How is that logic it's completely different circumstances and I think More children who languish in care homes and orphanages should be adopted by those who really want children.

[oohlaalaa]

Personally I wouldn't choose to bring a child into the world at 61.