AIBU to think this woman is totally bonkers and unfair on her children

[issey6cats]

saw on msn main page a 61 year old woman in brazil has given birth to twins, not a surrogate but for herself, aibu to think that at this age she will be exhausted all the time, wont live to see these children past say thier thirties and is being unfair having children when most parents are looking forward to retiring and taking life a bit easier, not plunging into new motherhood, am not slating older mothers but i had my children between the ages of 18 and 24 and that was hard enough work

[TwinkleReturns]

Lets try not to turn this thread into an attack on mothers who had DC at 18 please. There's a large number of mothers on MN who fall into that bracket of 18-24 and younger and passing judgement is completely out of order, especially when you have no idea of their personal circumstances.

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

How do you afford a prep school at 20 years old? Who is paying for that?

At 18 most children are going off to uni. How is it possible to pay for your own education and that of a childs?

Sorry but wow i just cant understand how that is possable

[WofflingOn]

'How do you afford a prep school at 20 years old? Who is paying for that?'

You link up with a successful provider, often older than you, who can afford a family.
You use an inheritance to pay for it.
You have wealthy parents who are delighted to support grandchildren.
So many ways, and you don't attend a prep at birth, so giving birth at 18 still gives you a decade to work out the cash.

[TwinkleReturns]

AnEerie I have a friend who had a DD at 18. She started her own business, now employs 20 staff, has a mortgage is engaged etc. Her DD is going into private education next year.

[NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata]

This whole thread relies on the premise of ageism from one end of the spectrum to another.

[WofflingOn]

Yup, I agree NIGN.
I've known parents of all ages and all levels of competency, it is all down to the individual circumstances and people.

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

Wow just wow and shit i went wrong somewhere lol

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

Sorry on topic all mothers who love their childern are good mothers regardless of age its mothers who abuse their children people should judge :(

[Inneedofbrandy]

So now your not a suitable parent if you don't send your children to private school. Get the fuck over yourself the majority of children in this country do not go private no matter what age the children are.

[LST]

Eerie I will never be able to afford a private school and brother would I want to. My under 24 self and my son are quite happy thanks and we have plenty of money for what we need.

[LST]

Brother

That should read neither would I want to.

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

LST I will never be able to either

[Inneedofbrandy]

I don't think the if your body can't enable it blabla you shouldn't do it. A 14 yr old body is perfect for pregnancy and childbirth and after. A 14 yr old should not have a child. It's illegal for her to of had sex in the first place so that argument can't cut it with me

But no child should have to grow up feeling responsible for caring for its elderly mum. 61 now but at 76 they will be 15 and no 15 yr old should be thinking about do I put my mum in a home ect ect.

[Inneedofbrandy]

Medically a 14 yr olds body is perfect. I also said it was wrong what do you mean by justify it? Go and do some research On it of you want to...

[Inneedofbrandy]

Oh I thought you was saying I was saying something else

[halcyondays]

Yanbu. Yes of course you can die at any age, but if you have a baby before the normal age of menopause, the chances of you living long enough to see them through to adulthood are a hell of a lot better than if you have a baby in your sixties.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Do you feel the same about 61 year old fathers?

Sorry for your loss, Everlong.

[honeytea]

Those who thing that if her body can't carry a baby it is unnatural for her to have a baby what about all the couples having fertility treatment? If you are unable to ovulate on your own is it unnatural and wrong to take clomid, if your DP has slow/few sperm is it wrong to have IVF as he "naturally" shouldn't become a father?

Also what about people with life limiting illnesses? Should people with cystic fibrosis not have children as their life expectancy is shorter than the average person?

Personally I think it is important to plan a child, plan how you are going to support them and how it is going to change your life, I was a "supprise" baby, I do not understand where the supprise is most people understand how babies are made. I think that most (not all) 18 year olds have not thought through how they are going to support their baby, the old brazilian mum cleasrly has planned her pregnancy.

[halcyondays]

If somebody needs fertility treatment, there is usually no reason to think they won't live as long as anyone else. Totally different situation to having a baby in your sixties. An 18 year old may or may not have thought through how they're going to support thir baby but unless they are very unlucky they will still be alive and well until their baby grows up. Sadly the chances of the 61 year old are not so good.