AIBU to think this woman is totally bonkers and unfair on her children

[issey6cats]

saw on msn main page a 61 year old woman in brazil has given birth to twins, not a surrogate but for herself, aibu to think that at this age she will be exhausted all the time, wont live to see these children past say thier thirties and is being unfair having children when most parents are looking forward to retiring and taking life a bit easier, not plunging into new motherhood, am not slating older mothers but i had my children between the ages of 18 and 24 and that was hard enough work

[AnEerieAirOfHorror]

Can u quote me where i said i think 18 year old parents live of benefits?

Im shock any 18 year old can afford priave school for their child!

But if they can and want to fine good on them.

[KentuckyFriedChildren]

AnEerie i actually had my first job at 14 and dh and i have both always been savers so both had plenty in the bank before having dcs. dh worked offshore for 6 years and has only recently given that up in favour of working close to home as i am unwell. i have worked from home for pretty much my entire adult life and so have not paid childcare. you know nothing of my circumstances but yet pretty much call me a liar. i realise that we are probably the exception rather than the rule but not every teenager is immature and not every young mum lives off handouts. it makes me sad that there are people who think that way though i am lucky to have never encountered such predjuces myself.

[Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo]

If circumstances require then of course older women can parent well. Many grandparents or older siblings raise children when family needs mean they have to. There's a big difference between that sort of scenario and one involving women choosing to have biological children at an advanced age.

[Emmielu]

Its her life. She will do what she wants with it. Shes not commiting a crime.
As is the same with you. Its your life, you chose to have your children. You're not commiting a crime.

[Moominsarescary]

everlong I hope the anniversary passes peacefully for you and your family x

My dad died of a brain hemorrage at 44 when I was 16 and my sister was 12, however in your 60s you probably have a higher chance if ill health or of dying before your dc reach adult hood.

I had ds1 at 16, he hasnt had less educational opportunities then I had. He's probably had more as his education has been very important to me. He had some extra private tuition a few years ago, which isn't something my parents ever thought of for me when I was struggling.

[Inneedofbrandy]

[thebody]

Everlong so very sorry, so much heartache on mumsnet threads.

I totally respect your opinion but personally I can't get too worked up about this.

Anyway lets hope the babies have a happy life.

Thinking of you Everlong.. X

[thebody]

Everlong, my dd aged 13 was badly injured in feb, we neatly lost her, her friends were also touch and go, her teacher died.

My mil dies at 40, my Dhs beast friend died at 24.

There are no certainties in this life.

Celebrate life don't carp and critisise.

I wish her and her babies well.

[dottyspotty2]

The story says she has been trying to get pregnant for 20 years soo not a hasty decision.

[TheBigJessie]

Implanted? That's the wrong word, isn't it. Implantation is what occurs after successful IVF.

Introduced to her uterus?

[TheBigJessie]

Well, I expect she would have much rather had them ten years ago. And presumably she thought that it would be more unfair to the embryos if they were destroyed instead of implanted.

I think I would choose differently, were I in her position, but I cannot know.

[Proudnscary]

Umm, the great, big, huge, glaring difference between being 'too young' at 18-25 and 'too old' at 61 is that one of these categories can get pregnant naturally and the other can't!

Of course any of us could be hit by a bus as 18, 28 or 48 year old new mothers but to ignore the fact that there is a significantly higher risk of dying before your children are adults if you give birth at 61 is ludicrous.

Just because the technology and the longing - which I have a lot of sympathy with - is there doesn't mean it's a good choice to make.

[TheBigJessie]

Well, at least 18 isn't 5 1/2. Now that case was tragic.

[Cozy9]

People that are saying that 18-25 is "too young" to have children are talking bollocks.

[thebody]

God another thread judging a woman's choice re her choices to give birth at the age it suits her.

Another judgy thread about women's choices.

Errr op mind your own business, you choose to have a child at 18,so what who cares!! She chooses 61!!

Neither of those choices would be mine but what the fuck is it to do with me or you or anyone else??

[TheBigJessie]

The reason being evolutionary advantage to tribes where experienced females were
a) alive (childbirth being much riskier in the days our species evolved)
b) had attention spare to advise younger females (the daughter and DILs in today's society) on what to do with their first few babies.

The woman of this thread has
A) survived childbirth due to modern medicine, and,
B) has no older children to instruct.

Although, that said, I would not want twins at 61, as a personal choice. But then, I'm not childless, and my view is very much shaped by being fortunate enough to have had some twins already!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

vamosbebe why should the OP be joking?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

YANBU- menopause happens for a reason.

[GothAnneGeddes]

I've been fortunate enough to have met quite a few mothers who've gone abroad to get IVF due to age. Most of them have large extended families to step in if anything happens. I don't begrudge any of them their children.

[socharlotte]

YABU.Would you rather be born to a mother who may die when you are 30 or would you rather never be born at all?

[dottyspotty2]

Nobodies business my parents where mid 30's when I was born dad was always ill I was 20 when my eldest was born and 24 when youngest was born if I had waited I wouldn't of had them due to health issues so the person who says its selfish to have them under 25 is talking bollocks their now 17,18 and 21 and very happy well adjusted young people don't tar all young parents as feckless idiots everyone is dffferent