You are depriving a village of it's idiot...

[OhlimpPricks]

And others. There was a thread a couple of years back where everybody gave their best one-liners, and scathing put downs. Can't find it, but maybe it's time for a new one [hgrin]

I have a lovely relationship with my boss, and we banter back and forth, the more evil and rude the better.

Help - I'm running out of retorts. The ruder the better!

Your lift doesn't go all the way to the top floor, does it?

OR

A few forks short of a canteen of cutlery.

i would challenge you to a battle of wits but i can't fight with an unarmed opponent

My favourite is, when being chatted up by a wankgoblin, 'Sorry, one cunt in my knickers is enough thanks.'

Lmao scente omg!

The amount of alcohol it would take for me to sleep with you, would actually kill me

If your boss is male and tries to grow a beard/moustache

"When puberty kicks in that thing will really take off"

(said in work to a colleague, 25 people in the dept heard it and still tease him about it)

Not appropriate for your boss, unless you're fucking each other...apologies ha

I'm a big fan of the updated version of "not". So "ooh those super skinny jeans make you look so manly, said no-one.......ever." "that denim bomber jacket is so stylish, said no-one.....ever."

I can't think of one. I am hardly ever chatted up, too fugly

I'd call you a cunt but you lack the warmth and depth.

You are proof that the gene pool has a shallow end.

I'd say you were a cunt but you lack warmth and depth.

Oppos...great minds, StillIRise

solesource, I only get chatted up at the end of the night once they've been knocked back already by the pretty girls

You're a boot-faced idiot with the morals of a politician.

Ooh I got to use one the other week that I saw on here.

Pissed arsehole slurring 'wsbefjisbhif'
Me 'Sorry, I don't speak twat'

[hgrin] My friends were very impressed. [preen]

Lmao rather

Lol scente at least thats something! [hgrin]

StillIrise - love it! ILl definitely be using that one.
No, there no sex involved. He's gay, and soooo good at being a bitch. I want to have the upper hand for 5 minutes!

Big headed colleague " I have been asked to mentor New chap...teach him all I know"
Me: "See you both in ten minutes then!"

If I wanted to listen to an arsehole, I,d fart!!

You're so ugly your face looks like your neck's been sick

I've never had cause to use it, but apparently the thing to say to a flasher is 'oh....its like a willy....only smaller'.

Pick up the your phone and pass him the receiver saying
"It's the 1980s... they want their fashion back"

PS love this thread

"No, I don't dance, I have a disability."
"What's that?"
"I'm a psychopath - now piss off!"