To think if you are on the phone you don't talk to anyone or anything else?

[storminabuttercup]

My DM drives me crazy with this, I've just called her now, 'yes I will call in about ten minutes, no buster there are no treats in my pocket, and I will bring the bowl I borrowed, sit down, do you want some eggs bringing, down now SIT!'

Im going to start singing show tunes in the middle of sentences....

My mother does that too. It drives me up the flippin' wall. Yes I understand why people need to do it with small children (I have one myself!), but the endless chatting to the dog makes me crazy.

This really gets on my nerves.

My best friend will sit chatting to me on the phone and i guarantee in every phone call she will stop mid-sentance or interrupt me with, for example "aaargh oh my foot, oh sorry bout that, got a pain in my foot, been gettin it all week blah blah blah" or "arrrgh my tea's hot"

And yep, when she had a dog it was constantly "hi, are you SIT DOWN! sorry, are you ok? Did you RIGHT THATS IT, OUT OF THERE.. "

I think its really bad manners.

It is rude but inevitable, I think, with small children around.

Thus:

"Hi, how are you? DO YOU NEED TO DO A POO? Haven't heard from you for ages! How's Fred? Did you... DO IT IN THE POTTY! Sorry. Did you go to... THE POTTY! IT'S BY THE LOO! Bloody hell. I was trying to say... NOT ON THE FLOOR! IN THE POTTY! Bugger. Sorry. How's your back now? Last time we spoke you said you'd hurt it. Have you seen the doctor? NO-O-O-O-O! Sorry. Got to go. Shit all over the floor."

etc

Can I also add eating while you're talking on the phone?

All you can hear is "chomp, chomp, chomp. Crunch, crunch, crunch."

Most of my phone conversations sound like Shodan's example! Which is why I avoid the phone and make most arrangements by text or email.

My aunt breaks off with a comment on the private lives of the people acting in the TV programme that she is watching, OR starts talking to my son or my cat who are not on the phone to her and often not in the same room, or awake.

She came late to phones. I doubt her phone hygiene will every improve. I generally paint my nails during the digressions. Of a 30 min phone call maybe 10 mins is actual chat between us. She's even worse in the flesh.

Shodan

YY To talking to someone they think is with you. My grandma will start shouting DS. I'm usually in the supermarket alone phoning to see if she needs anything!

I always say 'I hear you're busy, why don't you ring me back when it's a better time to talk?'

This is a pet hate of mine. Quite a few people, including an otherwise very dear friend, do it ALL THE TIME. It's understandable when it's small children although still irritating, but there is no excuse when someone starts bringing their DP, father, other friends or whoever else is fecking there at the time into the conversation.

I wish I could do what you do, Ciske, but never have the nerve.

No, it's not rude - people in your presence are more important than people who have called you. If you call someone, they're being courteous even answering the phone, expecting them to also ignore the people they are with is wrong.

Feel free to say, "sorry, must be a bad time, bye".

(If they call you of course, things are slightly different)

I get similar when on the phone to DM. Her and DF barely talk despite living together but when I phone or she phones me DF won't stop talking to her. "hi, how are you? NOT YOU, I CANT HAVE TWO CONVERSATIONS AT ONCE, you're good? WILL YOU SHUT UP?". Then he complains she's been on the phone too long.

My Mum does this.... though its usually my Dad interrupting and rather than tell him she is on the phone and to wait until she has finished, she shrieks at him has a little bit of a convo then returns to you waiting on the end of the phone.

I find it really rude and want to sometimes do scream at her "you're supposed to be talking to me

DH always tries to get in on the conversation when I'm on the phone, drives me mad. I can only hear well out of one ear, so I can't hear him and the person I'm actually speaking to at the same time. Then he huffs when I wave him to shut up a bloody minute I've spoken to him about how rude and annoying it is a hundred times, but he just can't resist throwing his input in. Argh.

I agree with Fred.

I don't mind half as much if I call someone - chances are I'm disturbing them or interrupting them from watching telly something else, however I have a friend who does this EVERY TIME SHE CALLS ME and it drives me frigging loopy.

All through the call she's jabbering away to her toddler dd or whoever else happens to be nearby. It's bloody rude and saying 'I can hear you're busy, let's speak when you're on your own / when you have some time' just doesn't seem to get through to her. FFS.

and when they flush the loo............ arrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

but i have to admit to HATING the phone, it's such an intrusion. If you want to have a chat with me MEET me. Or if too far then arrange a mutually convenient time to catch up, but to just ring, interrupt my busy home life and expect me to drop everything for 20-30 minutes is too much. i sound like a complete prat now but it's honestly how i feel. random drivel chat, that's what facebook is for!

Boak @ flushing the loo. That's grim.

My DH has a thing about phones - if it rings he MUST answer it. We'll be having dinner, about to go out about to shag and he just can't let it ring or go to answerphone.

I'm the opposite - if I cba to answer it or don't have the time or inclination to sit and chat for a while I just don't pick it up. If it's mega important they can leave a message and I'll call back (or if it's my mother she'll keep calling on every number she thinks she can reach me on).

These days I'm not a fan of talking on the phone. In the daytime, I'll be distracted by small children or have a hundred jobs to do, in the evening I don't really want to talk to anyone except dh. I do, however, love texts and love meeting with people for coffee or drinks when they either have small children with them too or we are able to focus on each other. But if someone calls I answer it if I'm free or screen it if not. I will do quiet tidying with someone on the phone but draw the line at my sister being on the loo. A multitask too far.

Oh-and after strong words on the subject, if someone calls in the evening and dh or I can see its for the other one, we hand over the phone and let them decide whether or not to answer.

I have an elderly relative who, when I call her, spends most of the time doing a commentary on what is on her tv at the time. I have even asked her to switch the tv off because I find it hard to understand her but she just turns down the sound and continues commenting on it . I find this very strange.

Ah, caller ID, couldn't live without it. I have a friend who will talk at me for an hour. I love being able to ignore the phone, then text her later to say "sorry I missed your call, I was vacuuming/out/in the shower. Looking forward to seeing you on Friday". Also means I can avoid most cold callers.

Thing is, if you've rung someone, you've no idea where they are, what they're doing, who they're with. It's inevitable something else will be going on whilst you're ringing. Just say you'll call back at a better, less busy time, or perhaps they can ring you.

Whenever I rang my mother, she would answer the telephone and then, "Just a minute." I could hear fiddle, fiddle. Then she would be back on the telephone. I knew what she was doing - removing the hearing aid from her telephone ear.

Now that I wear hearing aids (genetic thing), I automatically take one out before I answer the 'phone. It used to make me a bit cross waiting for my mother to mess about with her hearing aids after she'd picked up the 'phone. My 'phone money. Mentioning it to her had no effect whatsoever.