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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if you are on the phone you don't talk to anyone or anything else?

62 replies

storminabuttercup · 23/10/2012 08:36

My DM drives me crazy with this, I've just called her now, 'yes I will call in about ten minutes, no buster there are no treats in my pocket, and I will bring the bowl I borrowed, sit down, do you want some eggs bringing, down now SIT!'

Im going to start singing show tunes in the middle of sentences....

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 23/10/2012 13:46

Rule - I wear just one hearing aid, for that very reason.

LadyClariceCannockMonty · 23/10/2012 13:47

IME though, Scholes, it's not that I've rung someone when they're busy, or that they carry on doing/talking about something that I interrupted them doing; often they're the one who's called me, and they actively rope other people in to the conversation!

[rage]

RuleBritannia · 23/10/2012 13:49

Scholes34
Well, we had/have to wear two but they are all removable!

Scholes34 · 23/10/2012 13:52

Rule - I have two. I'm not saying you should wear one. I just find it much easier all round to wear one. I don't like taking the one out and putting it back in and I can never hear when people lean towards me to whisper.

TheCatInTheHairnet · 23/10/2012 13:54

I nearly did a thread about this the other day as my friend was a bit cranky with me. She had called me on my cell and we were chatting until I bumped into another friend. I greeted said friend and then said I would call my other friend back.

In my mind, the person who is physically in front of you takes precedence, whereas she thought I should have carried on speaking to her as I was talking to her first. Plus I prefer my second friend, but that's a whole other story

LaQueen · 23/10/2012 13:54

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EchoBitch · 23/10/2012 14:51

Irritating,but i wouldn't chuck a friend over it.

I'm sure we all do things that niggle other people.

LaQueen · 23/10/2012 14:54

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ledkr · 23/10/2012 14:57

I agree but also what annoys me is when you are talking to someone who allows there child to constantly interrupt when only about trivial things, I'm never sure if I'm being a knob but it really bugs me.

LaQueen · 23/10/2012 15:00

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OlaRapaceFru · 24/10/2012 09:51

LaQueen and ledkr, I have a friend who, when her DC were much younger, constantly let them interrupt with trivialities. I can't tell you the number of times she'd ask me a question, I'd start answering and before I knew it she'd turned her attention to one of her DC. I found myself talking to the back of her head - or even thin air - and by the time she turned back to me you could see that she had absolutely no recollection that I'd been in the middle of saying something [hangry]. So I decided that I'd limit my conversation with her to polite civilities and the bare minimum.

Her DC are now mid/late teens, so she now comes out without them. I thought this would give me a chance to have a more sensible conversation with her. Oh how wrong I was. A few months ago a few of us went out for a girls lunch, she asked me something, I started to explain but before I'd got very far someone else interrupted and ... once again I found myself talking to the back of her head before I'd got to the crux of the story.

I can't stop seeing her as she and her DH are part of our social circle ... but I'm damn well not going to bother with any conversation.

vladthedisorganised · 24/10/2012 10:00

Agree with Scholes. I have no problem if I've called someone and there's a background conversation going on, especially with small children:
"How are you? STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER. How did the interview go? IF YOU HIT HIM AGAIN I'M UNPLUGGING THE TV. HENRY, GET DOWN FROM THE WINDOW.. No, really, it's fine - when will you hear back from them?"
Me - "Shall I text?"

What drives me mad, though, is when someone phones me and is suddenly too busy for a conversation.
"Hello Vlad, thought I'd call for a catch up, how are you?"
"Not bad thanks, I had a job interv..."
"..I hate to rush you, but I promised the kids that we'd go to the park, so could you call me back when I'm not so busy? Boys, get your coats on!"

???

Everlong · 24/10/2012 10:02

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ArseBandit · 24/10/2012 10:04

My sister used to ring me to just talk about utter crap-or just go, "Oh, forgot what I was ringing you for!" ...and the whole time her kids were squealing a foot away from the phone. She was on her mobile. I used to tell her MOVE TO ANOTHER ROOM! FFS, if I had a phonecall I'd be walking around the house to where it was quiet. Either that or she'd just start having an argument with one of her kids (under 5) about something or other, or talking to whoever else was in the room and I couldn't work out if she was talking to me or someone else. All while the squealing continued. Couldn't be arsed with it in the end. Hung up. On several occasions.

maddening · 24/10/2012 10:15

My mum does this and even takes calls on other phones - I have been chatting when suddenly nothing she says makes sense and it transpires that someone called her mobile and she answered it!

Everlong · 24/10/2012 10:21

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RubyCreakingGates · 24/10/2012 10:41

I think it is rude to ring someone without knowing what they are doing and expect them to drop everything and give you 20 minutes of their uninterrupted time.

I never get twenty minutes of uninterrrupted time, and if I did I would want to spend it doing something peaceful like reading/having a bath/ exhuming the freezer.

If you were in my house having a conversation with me you certainly wouldn't get my undivided attention for twenty minutes. My house would be wrecked!

If you wanted to talk to me about something specific I would suggest an email conversation, that I could give my attention to without you thinking I was rude for interrupting if I had to leap up from it for some reason, if you wanted to just natter I'd suggest a meet-up somewhere outside the chaos that is my house.

If you were sitting on my sofa, you'd just have to put up with the stream of consciousness, or random comments about the undiscovered strata at the bottom of the chest freezer.

(You'd get tea and cake, but not my full attention)

piratecat · 24/10/2012 10:44

my mother does this too. 'oh you should see Barney (dog) look what he's doing, aww . come here Barney, you want some tea, ok, silly boy' normally when i am telling her something very important.

i just have to wait.

Everlong · 24/10/2012 10:46

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willyoulistentome · 24/10/2012 10:56

Yes, I find it realy rude too. I thinkit's far worse if you have made the phone call and then proceed to talk to your kids or whoever else.

My otherwise lovely brother will phone ME up and then proceed to respond to his kids talking to him, thus putting me on immediate hold.

If you have a really little one, you MAY have to respond to something urgent about to go badly wrong, but my nephews are 8 and 5 and I think that is WAY old enough to know not to disturb someone when they are on the phone. Mine are 9 and 7, and i just have to give them a look if I am on the phone and they try to talk to me, and they back off. It's not as if I ever spend very ling on the ohone - probably ten minutes at most ever.

I have told my brother to call back when he's free once. He still does it though.

HeathRobinson · 24/10/2012 10:57

I dropped a friend partly because of this.

I had 3 children under 5 and she'd insist on ringing me during the day when I was at home with them. Of course they're going to talk to me while I'm on the phone and sometimes I have to talk to them/deal with an issue. I could hear her laughing in the background. [hangry] And she'd make comments about it.

So I asked her to ring me in the evenings (or I'd ring her), when they were in bed and we could have a proper talk. But no, her boyfriend was back then and she didn't like to ring then. [hhmm]

SausageSmuggler · 24/10/2012 10:57

I find it quite funny Blush but appreciate it can be annoying.

For some reason my DS can be nice and quiet until the second someone calls then he's all over me and yelling demanding a variety of crap. I've learnt now to make my phone calls when he's asleep, especially ones where I might need to stay on hold for a while.

stillsmilingafteralltheseyears · 24/10/2012 11:00

I don't mind this and I do it all the time when at home with DS. If I call a call centre or whatever I always say at the start of the call 'if it sounds like I'm telling you to be quiet, I'm not, it's just that I have a toddler with me' so they usually understand.

fluffyraggies · 24/10/2012 11:02

Oh jumpingjack i'm with you on that one! My DH will always answer the phone no matter what. After 5 years he's starting slllllllowly to realise that sometimes, just sometimes it's good to let the answer phone get it even if we're in.

He's had me look daggers at him enough times now when he's grabbed the phone after i've started to say nooooooooo, and had to pass it straight to me cos it's my mum with a marathon chat about nowt when we're in the middle of watching a film or something.

He's very good, you see, at ending calls if they're boring him or going on too long for his liking, so he doesn't worry. I, on the other hand, am not :(

WineGoggles · 24/10/2012 12:50

YANBU. Call back when you're able to have a sodding conversation with me properly Angry

i have to admit to HATING the phone, it's such an intrusion...but to just ring, interrupt my busy home life and expect me to drop everything for 20-30 minutes is too much
I feel exactly the same amid. I will call people for chats but always ask if it's a convenient time for them to chat before I start. My ex BF used to drive me mad; he'd call every day (to offload his life crap/treat me like his personal counsellor) and go over and over things for half an hour and barely draw breath. He never once asked if it was a good time for me to chat and it was very hard to gt a word in edgeways without interrupting him. Bloody irritating and rather thoughtless I reckon, especially as he seemed to have an in-built radar to detect just when the only programme I wanted to watch in TV was starting Angry