to think living in an affluent area can be very depressing

[whiteandyelloworchid]

everyone i'm surrounded by on a day to day basis, are wealthy, everyone is on about where they are going for half term, all of them are going abroad or somewhere lovely, and they have all been on several holidays throughout the year etc

they all have larges houses and plenty of spending money etc

i don't know i just find it depressing sometimes.

someone kick me up the arse

Nothing wrong with Radio 4 and you have crossed the line with gin there, missy!

I know EXACTLY how you feel, we live in a small village, and the DCs go to school in the next village over which I very posh and coveted. I do get sad and jealous and depressed looking at a lot of the other families with brand new people carriers (and me in my banged up old mondeo, covered in gaffa tape), their lovely big million pound houses (and me renting a 3 bed semi with an old style fuse box and a 70s kitchen) all off on holidays / tripsa away abroad or popping to blue water/centre parks (while we are off to butlins if we are lucky and even camping is too expensive nowadays). I would say we are One of the poorest At the school. But I did choose to send them there, our catchment scho (same distance) is in the local town with a high benefit claiming rate and lots of teen pregnancies, going there we would have been 'posh' our banged up mondeo and old fiesta would be amazing as opposed to no car and getting the infrequent buses, our trip to butlins and day trips out would be more than some people get, and our 3 bed semi with conservatory playroom and decent sized garden would be a palace compared to families living 5 in a one bed flat
We would probably be more content being richer than others in the school community but that would be at the expense of the kids education, their current school is the most sought after in the area and have been brilliant with ds's special needs.

A proper g&t? Tell me how?

lljkk

so true

Open gin bottle, or slow gin. Neck it. Mmmmmmmmm.

I live in a fairly affluent area

. It can be depressing because there's never anyone around, everyone is always at work and on precious days off they have plans to go places with their children and see family members etc.
There's not often any kids playing on the street and my DD's friends spend the week at their Grandparents or at nursery so there's nobody to have playdates with usually.

I think it's silly to get depressed because you're not as rich or whatnot as your neighbours. Why move to the area if this was going to be such an issue?

I listen to Radio 4, I have university degrees, I even browse the Boden catalog on the very extremely rare occasion.

But barely any other people around here do those things. Half of what MN talks about is like reading about a society in a parallel universe.

THIS: Foshizzle I get what you mean. Very easy to lose all sense of perspective. But it's a pay-off I think. Somewhere you like to live vs having to mix with people with no sense of having to budget.

Really :-o

thats what ive always said lljkk i feel like i live in a different world sometimes on here

actually most of the time

Affluent people still have to budget y'know.

Bigger houses/bigger cars= bigger expenses.

Bigger jobs with bigger responsibilities and less of a homelife.

I don't think it's very fair to tar 'affluent' people with the 'unable to budget' brush. Most people get to this point through hard work and determination so they've earned their right to be frivolous.

"id rather be affluent and unhappy,than poor and happy"

Eh?

We visit the ILs in their very affluent area and I just find it a bit boring. No one's on the street, they go for weeks without seeing their neighbours. It's leafy but lonely.

We don't live somewhere fancy, quite the contrary but we choose to live here. Because it is a bit rough we've been able to buy most of our house and do it up the way we want to. Schools are alright.

BUT I wouldn't like it so much if I had no choice about whether we lived here or not.

Apparently according to some survey of happiness, living in a nice house in a shit area makes most people more happy.

So if your house is the nicest one on the street then you are more happy than if you are the poorest in a nice area.
Probabl got something to do with feeling jealous of others peole all the time...

Know how you feel, OP. We scraped together our money to afford a naice house in a naice street with a naice school catchment area.

Except now we can't afford the naice holidays (we scrape together air miles if we go away) and and whilst other school mums head off for endless coffees, I have to scurry home to put all my effort into eBay sales and so on, to make ends meet, and to stop the house from falling apart.

I have, however, concluded that, given the amount my DH earns is a good amount, and yet we still struggle, most of the people in this area either a) bought their houses ages ago and have tiny mortgages or b) live off family help/money or c) live off credit or d) have no savings. At least we have some savings to our name.

oh boofuckinghoo at people eking existence in nice affluent areas
one could live elsewhere,not compelled to live in nice bit if it's such a drag
but presumably wants to live in affluent area,and have the benefits eg school,ambience,etc

WTF at some of these posts??

"new money middle class". What century are we in?

But OP if you're finding it depressing cos you want to go on more holidays and your neighbours' trips are constantly reminding you of that, then fair enough, I understand. I don't think you were saying you wish you lived in a shit area.

SoSweetAndSoCold - I second your "Eh?"
People are strange.
It did make me laugh though.

I would guess scottishmummy is thinking of her family rather than herself when she says she'd rather live in an affluent area and be unhappy than a poor one and be happy.

YABU... be confident in what you have, not what you haven't.

YANBU... it can be very VERY annoying, if you focus too hard on it, especially when you start to wonder if 'they' deserve it or not, that will eat your soul!

You are a valid person regardless of your monetary wealth, be confident.

Can you guess I am surrounded by 'haves' (and they're lovely actually) but would never consider myself a 'have not' ?

I strive for more, obviously, there's always something more I need, but I am happy with what I'm doing and where I'm going and my 'stuff'. Learn to love what you have, focus on what you want, build it, appreciate where you are, and no one else will really matter any more.

How does everyone know, and why do they care, what all their neighbours are up to all the time and what they spend their money on? So weird.

I lived next to someone obsessed with my life I had no interest in hers, she has moved now and it is lovely not being spied on etc.

The secret to happiness is being content with what you have.

If you always aspire to more, you will never be happy because, once you've got that you'll be wanting the next thing.

I get what you are saying OP.

I think this also holds true for groups of friends. The people I know who went to Oxbridge all feel very hard done by as their friends are all super well off and successful. Unless you earn six figures you feel like a complete failure.

My friends all went to Sixties universities like me, and have normal professional jobs. If you earn ?40k you are well off. (rightly so, this is a v v good wage.) much more relaxing.

I understand what you are saying OP, but I would prefer to live in a more affluent area to be honest.

In our H.A estate we are one of very few families of four living in a three-bed house. Most of the other houses have four or more DC living there and the children / teens have no idea how to play games or have space to do homework / quiet activities or the money to pursue hobbies. So they are turfed out onto the street and all they know is how to destroy.

It's coming up to Hallowe'en and it always makes me when MNers talk about leaving little packets of Haribo in a hollowed-out pumpkin so that people can help themselves to a few and leave some for others. Our pumpkin was depleted within two minutes and the shell disappeared. Found it the next day (thankfully before autistic DS who adored it) smashed into our car.

There is NO community spirit here at all. There are richer out-lying areas but the local criminals are so fucking lazy that they prefer to shit on their own doorsteps, cheat, vandalise, defraud and steal from their own and give all H.A tenants a bad name.

Spending money on holidays and chattering about them and how much they cost is terribly déclassé in any case