to think living in an affluent area can be very depressing

[whiteandyelloworchid]

everyone i'm surrounded by on a day to day basis, are wealthy, everyone is on about where they are going for half term, all of them are going abroad or somewhere lovely, and they have all been on several holidays throughout the year etc

they all have larges houses and plenty of spending money etc

i don't know i just find it depressing sometimes.

someone kick me up the arse

[maybenow]

Nobody's life is perfect - if they have plenty of things they may have debt, if they have plenty of ready money then they may have husbands who are never home working crazy long hours and/or doing jobs they don't like.

What are you doing at half term? Are you looking forward to spending a week with your kids? Are you or your DH taking some time off? Are you going for nice (free) autumn walks kicking the crispy leaves? Or baking nice pumkin-y autumny baked goods

Envy is a destructive emotion, concentrate on yourself instead.

[PlaySchool]

UANBU - I'm in the same boat but I'm still grateful that I live in a lovely area and console myself that most people can't afford to live where I do even if I don't have any spare cash for weekends away, nice clothes, flash car, new kitchen and bathroom etc. My house is a bit of a dump but hey ho, I've got it and that makes me proud.

[Foshizzle]

I get what you mean. Very easy to lose all sense of perspective. But it's a pay-off I think. Somewhere you like to live vs having to mix with people with no sense of having to budget. Most of my local friends are from the village next door ;-)

It'll be hard for the DC at times I think, but that's life.

[Foshizzle]

Or in English, "neighbouring village"...

[mercibucket]

Yes, op, that is how it goes. We compare to those around us and feel happier when we are better off than those around us. Plenty of studies show this. Love the way you get a mumsnet kicking for it though. Cos obviously half of mumsnet is the exception that proves the rule

[whiteandyelloworchid]

yes yes i know its a non problem, i know we are lucky to live in a nice place, just sometimes wish the nice place wasnt full of people that are so much wealthy
but your right, it does actually make any difference to me if they have 10 holidays a year or none
but i already know that, that why i said give me a kick up the arse
no i have actually no idea what living on a rough estate is like, living in a tower block for a week or two would probably do me good

[Mintyy]

I agree. I am so fed up with my affluent area that I am seriously thinking of moving away to somewhere more down to earth. Even though I have lived here v happily since 1996, it is becoming more and more poncetastic by the minute.

[scottishmummy]

crime,noise,poverty is depressing
ones neighbours affluence is not depressing
this is a non starter.really

[scottishmummy]

i still kinda think this is a bitty braggy.gosh i live in nicey mcnice and im so depressed
as i suggested earlier then,go rent in shite bit of town
see if a wee bit of how the other half snaps you into some kind of reality

[Mintyy]

I wouldn't say it is exactly depressing, but I understand totally how one can feel very much out of place and wanting to live in a community that is more on one's wavelength.

[Floggingmolly]

So, op, to sum up your problem...
You are happy to live in an affluent area, but unhappy that's it's inexplicably not populated entirely by poor people?

[Frontpaw]

Ah well, as my mum used to say 'you never know what goes on behind closed doors'.

I've known a few of these 'affluent' types - fancy house, kids, cars, holidays... and their worlds have just melted for various reasons: husband getting into drugs and floozies, divorce, business failing, redundancy... I suppose these things don't really matter when it comes to the crunch: a roof above your head, enough to cover your outgoings and your health should be enough.

I also know lovely retired folk who seem to have lived the 'ideal' life: high powered-job hubbies - and they've never had to slog in a job they hate and juggle childcare, big houses, holiday homes, large family and dog 'n horses. I haven't a clue if they were cheating on each other or made each others' lives' a living hell.

Wishing for a 'perfect' life won't make it so - no-one 'deserves' it and some people are lucky, and some just don't get the breaks.

In 100 years, will it matter of you drove an Audi or a mini?

Yes, the green eyed monster gets most of us - a big house, garden, holidays, flash car, being able to have a child...

[whiteandyelloworchid]

oh dear, i can see this is not going anywhere! anyway i know i'm in the wrong, i stated that right in my op.

[Consils]

I look at the Mc Mansions round here and think about wanting a cardigan that I had left in my bedroom and the half a mile I would have to walk to go and get it.

One of my neighbours, a very stylish 70 year old gives me all her old clothes to take my pick from. I haven't bought a jumper in years and they are all in beautiful condition. I just wish I was her shoe size.

There is an estate that employs a full time stonewaller because bits are always falling down.

And a surprising number of these houses don't appear to be lived in. And they all need staff. (So do I but that is a laziness problem).

[SlightlySuperiorPeasant]

YABU but I can see where you're coming from - a bit like being at a posh public school on a full scholarship and not being able to afford the trips, the clothes etc. to fit in?

DH once took me to a lovely restaurant at a very posh hotel. It was so posh that I found the whole experience overwhelming and embarrassing. Afterwards we both said the food was nice but we'd have had more fun at the Beefeater :o

[MrsjREwing]

Funny you say that usualsuspect3, in my road of four bed detached, there was a gunrunner the US were trying to extradite. A few years ago we were all held up from the school run, as armed police shot out his tyres and arrested him.

[Mintyy]

I think the vast majority of people are able to appreciate that being rich does not protect you from deep personal unhappiness/dysfunction.

Me? I am just fed up of walking around my local streets and having to side-step the 4 x 4 sticking out of the drive onto the newly installed dropped kerb on the pavement.

And going down to my local market and finding it crammed full of artisan food stalls or people selling flea market furniture scuffed up a bit as "shabby chic" and birthday cards at £3 a pop.

That's not what I signed up for when I moved to a cheap part of London all those years ago.

[bringbacksideburns]

Couldn't you just move a bit out of the area to one slightly less wealthy??

I don't compare with my friends. You should just be happy to live in a no doubt picturesque area with low crime rates and good schools - and if you are skint just socialise with your friends in your house. We don't all have to go skiing at half term.

This may not be a stealth post but that's how it's coming across when it's infinitely more depressing to drive out of the lovely affluent area you've visited for the day and go home to your getting more scruffier by the day town.