to think living in an affluent area can be very depressing

[whiteandyelloworchid]

everyone i'm surrounded by on a day to day basis, are wealthy, everyone is on about where they are going for half term, all of them are going abroad or somewhere lovely, and they have all been on several holidays throughout the year etc

they all have larges houses and plenty of spending money etc

i don't know i just find it depressing sometimes.

someone kick me up the arse

[3LittleHens]

Good to hear - but sadly, it's a big part of life, and if you haven't come across it yet, you sure as hell will.
Compared with friends, I have a lot lot more, but NEVER rub their noses in it.

[Dannilion]

If it's any consolation my mum says exactly the same. I grew up on my parents farm, and 'back in the days' she was only surrounded by other farmers, gamekeepers, etc. Now she is "surrounded by DFL's"..'Down from londons,' which she describes as rich city folk who have fancy ponies, brand new landrovers and more hunter wellies than chickens. She says they make her feel scruffy and poor and that she wishes she didn't live in that area anymore.

I however live in a student house in a rough area of a city, there is a brothel 7 doors down. The flat opposite got raided last week, someone got stabbed at the end of the road a couple of months ago and there are ALWAYS drunk/drugged up people outside my house (not directly, but within 50 yards) from about 10pm-3am. She wouldn't much like to live here either.

Some people are never happy!

[scottishmummy]

more you have more you want?rubbish
one lives comfortably at a level one is happy with.thats doesnt equate profligate spending
its possible to not be blingey or gauche about money.actually just happy and hard-working

[Morloth]

It is bullshit that money doesn't make you happy.

I have been poor and I have been (now) rich. Rich is so much bloody better.

Am infinitely happier now than when I had to wonder whether I was going to be able to eat that day.

I am able to go and do the groceries without having too worry whether I would have to put something back. I can write a cheque to school so DS can go skating/skiing/swimming/band whatever. When they need new shoes, we duck into a shop, get feet measured and buy whichever ones are best. etc etc.

This was not how it was when I was growing up.

There are mums on Mumsnet who don't eat sometimes so their kids can. I will not be convinced that this means they are happier than I am. How can constantly struggling make you happier?

Not all poor people are happy and not all rich people are hiding unhappiness.

While I don't think money automatically buys happiness, it can certainly take away a lot of the things that cause unhappiness.

[Lavenderhoney]

I live in a wealthy area but I don't envy those who are wealthier. It would be nice to have more money but I am not that troubled or I would do something about it:) I like being a sahm to take care of the dc, most mums are nice, and no one yet has driven past me and splashed mud over me and driven off laughing at the joke on the oik. I choose my friends, they choose me and the dc are too little to be obsessed with annabelles ponies and why they can't have them too. Perhaps it will change when they are older and realise mum and dad were too thick/ not related to dukes/ state educated so therefore have ruined their life...

[Shagmundfreud]

I live in a berry grim area. The bloody tough lives of my neighbours and some of the mummies at school make me realise how lucky I am. I give thanks for my lovely DH and both our families, and also for my education EVERY DAY.

So YANBU!

[BloodRedAlienReflux]

I live in a rural area, where there is a lot of money, and honestly, the mums who have the hardest time of it, (that i know) are the loaded farmers wives, who's husbands are dinosaurs! Just my experience!

[wordfactory]

Being poor is highly stressful.
Things like Christmas are just an added stress, not a joy, as attested to by so many threads here on MN.

Being rich doesn't protect you from the strains of life of course. Illness, death and heartache still come to call. However, they come of course to the poor also. And more frequently if the stats are to be believed.

But money does protect you from a lot. Pretending otherwise is just patronising.

[Morloth]

It is patronising.

I don't think I have ever heard anyone who was really struggling say 'well at least I am happy', because it is very bloody hard to be happy when everything day to day is so hard.

[MarshaBrady]

I think there is the luxury of complaining in there too.

It's hard to share the stress of poverty, and isolating. But being very wealthy, probably easier to talk about small irritations.

Gives a skewed picture, am sure the top don't want to swap.

[MarshaBrady]

Not talking about very sad things there of course.

[loobydoopy]

I have been at my happiest when I had a lot of disposable income. I loved being able to buy a brand new sports car in cash, go for facials and massages whenever I fancied, go on luxurious holidays and weekends etc. The flipside was that I worked very long hours in the city and had a lot of stress. My car was also keyed if ever I left it in a public car park which I think is very sad.

Now I have a fairly modest income as I stepped back in my career to become a mum. I am even happier as a mum, even though I don't even own a car or go on holidays.

I think a reasonable income is needed to be happy, but the big bucks won't necessarily buy happiness, many very high earners have very stressful jobs, see very little of their family etc.

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

I think we need to bear in mind that there is so much more to happiness than having money.

If you have no money, but have your health, your family is healthy and you have good relationships, then life might still be a struggle, but its nothing compared to the unhappiness that comes with being ill or seeing your loved ones suffer through illnesses or being lonely because you don't have good relationships without family and friends.

Happiness comes from being grateful for what you do have, no matter how little that is.

Of course, it's not an either/or situation, and plenty of people have very little financially and also have to suffer with disability or illness in their lives somewhere. But when you ask those people, I would have thought that given a choice, they would choose health over money.

[MarshaBrady]

In terms of area I prefer really beautiful surrounded by not so nice over a sea of average niceness (ie burbs).

Agree a highly stressful job can sometimes not be worth it.

[Frontpaw]

I know people in very high paid stressful jobs - and people in badly paid stressful jobs. You don't always have the choice. At least if you have a well paid job, you can actually save money and/or downsize. If you are stressed to death in a badly paid career, living in a one bedroomed flat with children, then your choices are a lot slimmer.

[scottishmummy]

i grew up poor,and im glad im not poor now.it wasnt noble,its wasnt heart warming
it was shite to have to save for a trip, to have to think about cost everything
all this ach i bet them rich is sad is absolute rot.its a dafe cliche that drips off tongue
you know what atschoo i got told off for saying rather be wealthy and unhappy than poor and happy.and i alrgely still stand by that.adequate money gives a buffer,protection from hard knocks of live and it does assuage many hard times

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

Too right scottishmummy - it doesn't bring happiness but it can soften most hard knocks a bit. I read that article about Jordan and her son Harvey in the Guardian mag a few weeks ago; she was adamant that having more money didn't make things any easier for her but the writer pointed out that she was able to buy him space, equipment, specialist help and support for her. Of course things are still hard with him but she can protect him and give him the best of what his material and support needs. Money gives you choice and options that you don't have when you are poor.

[MissBetseyTrotwood]

"of his material..."

[mrscumberbatch]

There has to be SOMETHING good about being wealthier otherwise nobody would strive for it.

To say that you can't/won't find happiness in money isn't strictly true. It works for some. Everybody is different.

I'm content with being comfortable. Not having to worry about a mortgage or about buying needed clothes. Being able to take up hobbies/go out wherever we fancy within reason.

My happiness comes from the security that I have with my family. I know that I am doing everything that I can to keep them safe and warm and fed. There's pride to be taken in it.

[scottishmummy]

benefits of adequate money - spontaneity.buy something you want,when you want
not consciously having to always eke out money or balance out needs. spontaneously going out
and having choices,a range of choices that lack of money restricts

[Frontpaw]

With money (versus without)
You can choose to up sticks and move to a better catchment area if you want to and have choice of properties that aren't hovels.
You have space - so you don't worry about if you can afford another child (or worry that your world will implode if you do as your home is tiny).
You don't fear old age and hope you don't make it that far.
You can go to any doctor or specialist and jump the queues if necessary.
You can go out for a meal without having to count the pennies.
You don't have to think 'so I've spent £20 extra this week, so that'll be £20 less next week'.
You don't think "o fuck o fuck o fuck' when a bill comes through the door.
You don't go demented with happiness when you find a forgotten £ note in a coat pocket.
You aren't shit scared of another redundancy knocking the delicate balance of your finances - because this time it will just tip you over the edge.
You don't look at other people and think 'we've worked longer and harder than you, had more crap to contend with, had no help from family... just to get this far' so please don't whinge to me that you can't go skiing again this year because nanny won't stay with the kids.

I'd rather be comfortable and happy, but failing that, rich and unhappy - you can find a million things that money can buy that will make you happy (hobbies, luxuries, holidays, hired help, gyms and spas, giving wadges to charity...).

Yes, I've known some rich bloody wastes of space (rich mummy and daddy spoiled kids to death) but most rich people I know are pleasantly doddling along with some of the same crap we all deal with (car getting pranged, kids not doing well at school, illness). But when I see folks going out 5 nights a week (not work related) to nice restaurants, shows, theatre, sports events... with their kids tucked up at home with their housekeepers and nannies, no, I don't look at them and thing 'oh, they must be really miserable inside'.

[scottishmummy]

spot on.money generally does make one happy
and lack of money is hard going.
statistically lower socioeconomic circumstances =higher mortality

[Latara]

Money makes the world go round... it does. And it pays the bills. Lack of it gets you bank charges & makes you feel shitty.