to think living in an affluent area can be very depressing

[whiteandyelloworchid]

everyone i'm surrounded by on a day to day basis, are wealthy, everyone is on about where they are going for half term, all of them are going abroad or somewhere lovely, and they have all been on several holidays throughout the year etc

they all have larges houses and plenty of spending money etc

i don't know i just find it depressing sometimes.

someone kick me up the arse

[Wheresmypopcorn]

I used to live in a well to do area. Yes, can be disheartening but didn't let it depress me. t least the property price wasn't going to drop and didn't during the recession which made me feel very lucky. My mortgage adviser had told me that there were a load of people in negative equity and we were quite fortunate.

[dysfunctionalme]

You have got to be kidding me.

I live in an affluent area. It is bloody nice. The houses are nice, the streets are clean and the local schools are brilliant.

Seriously, what's not to like?

[Ohhmydaze]

lljk and thekidsrule its like a period drama half the time!

[greenbananas]

I grew up in an affluent area (although we were very skint). It used to depress me so much that I would never be able to afford what I saw as a 'proper' grown-up lifestyle.

Now I live in one of the 10% most deprived wards in the country, and I love it here. The people are friendly, and there is a great neighbourhood feel. People in other parts of the city call this 'the ghetto' but really we have very few problems with crime on the street, thanks to a fantastic neighbourhood policing team and a strong sense of community where everybody seems to know everybody else.

It made me laugh when one day outside the school gates the big news was that loo roll was on offer in Lidl - not a subject that would have been seen as important where I used to live

[greenbananas]

(I ought to add that it was not so much fun living here when I didn't have enough money to buy food or put the heating on...)

[Morloth]

The trick to being happy for me is to aim for the middle.

Did we move back into our old house? In a pretty dodgy suburb with disadvantaged schools, where we would definitely have been the rich people (and by extension our kids would either be the rich kids at school not a good idea given how the schools were when we were growing up), or did we buy in an area we could just afford, very posh where really we would be the poor people and the kids would be the poor kids at posh schools.

We settled right smack bang in the middle (literally the suburb we live in is in between the areas we were trying to choose between). Our house is 'average' our car is 'average' our incomes are 'average' and here is the real advantage (IMO), the kids are 'average'.

It is pretty good being in the average demographic of the place you live. No need to try and hide how well off you are and no need to feel inferior to much wealthier neighbours.

[Foshizzle]

hakunamatata8, I'm not entirely sure what was contentious in that post, but I'll rephrase to "mix with people with a more generous living budget than yourself." Better?!

mrscumberatch, I did not say that all affluent people were unable to budget. And I certainly know a number of people who just don't need to - they spend as they see fit, on whatever they want. They certainly don't need to budget. However I completely disagree with your point that everyone deserves what they have - whether a lot or a little. Some work hard and earn a lot, some work hard and earn a little.

I stand by my main point, which is that it is very easy to lose perspective when you're surrounded by a disproportionate amount of very wealthy people and forget that most of the country doesn't live like that.

[NotAnIdiotHonest]

If you're spending your time worrying about what your neighbours have you might want to look into getting a more fulfilling career or some more stimulating interests? Not trying to be sarcastic, but fulfilled people don't worry about this crap.

[overmydeadbody]

I get where you're coming from OP, we are human and we can't always help our feelings of envy or jealousy or frustration, it takes commitment to not let these emotions rise to the surface.

I grew up in Saudi Arabia, we just scraped by, compared to the average white ex-pat out there we were definately poor, compared to the Saudi millionaire friends I had at school we were poorer than their maids (I remember being embarassed when they came round to my house for the first time, but once I realised they were my friend because they liked me, not because of the size of my house, it got easier).

But along with the ridiculously wealthy in Saudi, there was also absolute poverty, and we lived on the edge of a very very poor area (think slums) so, while I felt embarassed around the rich people, I felt very very lucky and prvilaged to have food, clothes and parents looking after me, and I learnt (and had great rode models in my parents, who were alwyas grateful for what they had and never showed any envy of the rich around us) to be grateful, count my blessings, and be thinakful because there are always those worse off, and some people really really struggling (we had kids go through the skips in the street for food to eat).

Try not to let it get to you OP.

[Sazzle41]

I work in an industry full of incredibly wealthy people but tbh a lot of them are slaves to a 65/70hour week to get that salary. I also have a counsellor friend who sees a lot of them in her practice and trust me, money doesn't make you happy. Me, i save up for things they take for granted but, the total satisfaction from saving hard for it , to me means a lot and i think i appreciate it more.

[Mintyy]

I don't much like living in a wealthy area ... not because I am envious or jealous, just that I feel I have little in common with my neighbours. I feel out of kilter and am surrounded by people whose primary interest in life appears to be earning and flaunting money. Not my kind of people at all. Also, house prices have gone up a stupid amount, the High Street is full of overpriced produce, the bars and restaurants feels they can charge whatever they like for a glass of wine and a sandwich ... that sort of thing.

[Aboutlastnight]

Was thinking about this, thus morning.

dD2 (aged 5) burst into tears and said: "but we didn't go on holiday, everyone has been on holiday, what shall I write in my news diary?"

And it's true: most people in our area spent half term in cottages with friends or visiting relatives or abroad.

dP and I had to work, managed to take the kids to the cinema and bought them some winter boots.

It can be depressing when the main conversation is what lovely wholesome holidays they will be having etc etc

But we chose to live here....

[Aboutlastnight]

When I was kid you went away once s year, if you were lucky.

[OwlLady]

I live in an affluent area and I don't feel depressed but I do feel uncomfortable about the level of wealth compared to where I came from. I am always extremely mindful that my children are having a sort of disinfected version of life, whereby a lot of the time everything is wonderful. The only thing I think muddies the waters for them is that we have severe disability in our life and that's most probably enough for all of us to have to cope with. Sometimes the feeling lucky leads to guilt though, for me anyway.

We are not well off either, it's not the people having more money than me that bothers me (the school bothers me though as they think you have money to donate/pay for this that and the other instantly) It just bothers me that it's so nice when other places are so awful. Mind you, people don't half moan about the stupidiest of things

[ecto]

Try not to worry about it. A lot of the people at my kids school are substantially richer than us. The kids stood up and said their HALF term news and many said "I've been to x [hot sunny place] and done y [super fun thing]". My DD said she had been for a walk . This half term, we will also be doing superfun things like visiting the dentist and getting a haircut. But the canary islands are supposed to be nice this time of year

[ecto]

Oh and also, anyone living next door to my DB and SIL would think they are totally minted. They have been doing up their house with very posh stuff. In fact, the money for it has been borrowed and they are not at all minted. So it isn't always the case.

[Bubblemoon]

Have just moved to an affluent area and can honestly say the only difference between here and the poorer areas we've lived in previously is the number of people having work done on their houses.....loft extensions, new window, block paved drives.....can't move for white vans and blokes lugging granite worktops in for ladies called Ginny. DH thinks the people in the street have come up trumps on a lottery syndicate.

There's a quality lifestyle to be had here for a happy, loafing pauper like myself ... buying for pennies their still-with-tags-on Joules and Boden indulgences at the hospice shop, pinching their glossy mags out of their recycling on my early morning dog walk and helping myself to the "please take some" baskets of veg they put outside their suburban villas to dispense with the embarassing glut of organic veg they paid their gardener good money to grow.

[Aboutlastnight]

I think I must be super naive about my DDs school - half term used to be about catching up with haircuts, dental appts, winter boots/coats, watching raindrops running down the window pane and occasional games of scrabble.

Not any more.

[Bonsoir]

I have a friend who is so desperate to live in an affluent area with nice schools etc and to have a holiday home in an affluent area that she has had to go abroad to a very horrible country to work to pay the whacking mortgages on her houses .

She is somewhat that the schools she has put her children in abroad are, strangely enough, a lot better than the ones she took them out of.

Things are not always what they seem!

[lostinwonderland]

There is some research out there, can't remember where! Basically it says that people who compare themselves constantly to the better offs will essentially feel depressed or unhappy whilst those who look at those less fortunate will appreciate what they have. Try to get a balance. Or read a newspaper for a reality check!

[wordfactory]

Well OP, I've lived in a rough area and I now live in an affluent area and the lifestyle of the later is 100% nicer for anyone living there as far as I can see.

However, I do accept that we arrivistes have driven up prices and changed the nature of the area which must be a bugger if you're from round here and don't earn the big sums afforded by the city.

[fraserboysmum]

I live in a nice area, kids go to a good school, but it can be depressing to not be able to join the lovely week end away trips with the girls, or afford to go out as much, or buy the beautiful things they have so i understand ... however
Some of my friends seem to ' have it all' are actually quite unhappy ... I know who i'd rather be ....

[chicaguapa]

I live in an affluent area and it depresses me how people barge past me in Waitrose, it's one man for himself on the roads and the schools rely on the parents to bring their children on.

[socharlotte]

My DCs are the only kids in their classes who haven't been skiing!

[Aboutlastnight]

what I find funny about our area is that everyone is super nicey, nicey, buying organic veg, terribly earnest and everything... but it doesn't stop allotment gardening, bohemian baby wearing alpha-mum knocking up a power point presentation for her kid, to get them on to the pupil council