To get my do, put his lead on, gather up his things and drive him back to dogs trust!

[zombieplanmum]

Then leave the little slime ball there until he realises just how cushy he has it!!

Since i have had him he has destroyed 2 lap top chargers, two pairs of crocs, a pair of glasses that cost £160 and i couldnt afford to replace them, having to wear my old prescription, the final straw - the little bastard has just eaten my bed! MY side of the bed too, i can't afford to replace that either so i am going to have to just try and stuff all the wadding back inside and sew it back together. I have had the week from hell, today being the worst of it and then i come home to find out that dog #1 managed to open the bedroom door and bastard dog #2 was clearly having a fine old time of it in my abscence - we are talking 15 minutes while i did the school run

now of course i wouldn't dream of leaving him at the dogs trust, where i got him from, but he needs to understand that he is a very lucky dog - he is spoilt rotten, gets the best dog food, lots of toys and he SLEEPS ON MY FUCKING BED! This is how he repays me, bastard bastard bastard animal!

yes i know its my own fault, i should have put the bungy strap around the door like i always do but i was running late after cleanin the bathroom

Our dog ate the back door.

Still, it came in handy when the lock on the front door got jammed...

I've been in stitches re-reading this thread! Arf especially @ 'the wanker' ^^ and the pic on the dog shaming site that said 'I humped a blind spaniel's face'.

And have found myself nodding in agreement at the used sanitary pads from the bin, worn knickers (mustn't forget socks. Mine has a sordid sock habit) and food stealing. I find myself growling at the hound when he pokes his nose near a plate .

Luckily, my lad is usually a right Silent Bob until he spots a random cat out of the window - then he barks at a million decibels and gives us all bloody heart attacks!

I am SO glad it's not just me who has a fucking four-legged mentalist!

I am lucky ND isn't into food stealing at all he has a sniff then goes and looks for some soiled under wear

MY dm had a staffie that nearly blew up the house one bonfire night. They' d gone out to a party and came back to a house that stank of gas. The dog was terrified of fireworks and squeezed itself behind the woodburner style gas fire in the kitchen where he chomped on the gas pipe, puncturing it several places. The repair man couldn't believe it and took a section pipe to show his colleagues. The fire was disconnected after that. The same dog also tried to electrocute himself by destroying the builtin fridge

This thread has made me laugh!! I have a chewer of toy cars and a silent destroyer. Nearly all DS's beloved cars have cracked windscreens and teeth marks from our Jaws of Doom springer who basically uses them as currency, having trained us to swap them for treats. And while we're having the wailing and gnashing of teeth over that, our butter-wouldn't-melt lurcher/collie will be quietly lying in the hall tearing some treasured book or magazine very very carefully into thin strips, which he will then carefully put into a little pile next to him.

I really really hope the court case dog gets to stay where he is - any news?

Have you read this? You should

Forgot

I've spent most of my day hoovering up the polystyrene balls from DD1's beanbag which hound from hell disemboweled whilst I was on the school run this morning

Our old Staffy ate a whole plastic bin full of fat balls for birds. He was not ill at all!

Ddog1 once got into the cupboard where her big food sack,is stored (one of the idiot dses left the door open) and ate 4.5kg of dry food - she looked like a brown, furry barrel on legs, and was not a happy hound.

If she manages to get upstairs unsupervised (we have a stair gate but the same idiot dses often forget to shut it), she hovers up the cat's food - but the cat got his own back - dh found ddog1 watching in horror whilst dcat stood, ankle deep in the dog's food (which lives out of reach on top of the microwave), eating around himself. Her face was a picture!

fancypuffin thanks for the link - that made me laugh, and cry

All my dogs have done the usual chewing/ruining things (white dog narrowly missed killing himself when he chewed through the washing machine cable when the wm was on and I bet him bum was when it went bang!). We thought they were very naughty until we got daphne the terror.

She stood 8" high, jrt, and weighed about 6kg. So a small dog.

Strange things started happening when she was just about full size, I'd find smashed crockery in the sink, my coffee/sugar canisters moved, food that had been left to cool would mysteriously disappear. I even found the microwave open one day. Poor dp kept getting it in the neck for being so careless and untidy (not to mention a thief for nicking the food) poor bloke. It wasn't until I was outside, looking into the kitchen, and i saw that daphne the terror was so agile she could actually jump onto the counter in one go. No scrabbling at the cupboards or anything like that, one big jump and she was on. She was also super intelligent and as such, wanted to be the boss but henrydog also wanted to be the boss and they started fighting. We tried absolutely everything to help them get along, saw a behaviourist, started dog agility to tire them out and stimulate them, walks three times a day etc but sadly it didn't work out and we had no choice but to rehome her, neither dog was happy, all they wanted to do. Was kill each other, I've never seen fighting like it, it was awful, and i lost a few fingernails and had to have stitches as a result of trying to split them up :( She went to a working home and is absolutely thriving, I still see her now and she is still as lovely as she was when we had her, lives with two other dogs who are happy to be bossed about by her :) (and is still fond of nicking food)

I really wish we could have worked it out but I think due to her intelligence, she wouldn't have coped being a family pet. .

(Tho I still haven't forgiven her for shredding my brand new, just released Harry potter book, just hours after I got it ) :)

Update as promised....we STILL don't know the outcome, apparently the case is taking longer than expected. So on the bright side we haven't had to do any horrible handing over of the dog, and can lavish him with cuddles and love over the weekend, on the down side the uncertainty is just so draining, we are not sleeping or able to concentrate cos keep waiting for the phone to ring.
Anyway it will be Monday now at the earliest so will try to relax and have faith over the weekend.
Thank you again to everyone who has commented, it really is amazing how support from Internet strangers can actually make you feel warm inside :)

Apologies I haven't read all the posts, but 3 words - crate, training, exercise :)

Feel free to PM if you want some help (qualified dog pyschologist )

:( that they haven't made a decision, fingers crossed it goes your way

:) that you can lush him with cuddles and treats

Fingers (and paws) crossed for you here, too, Iamscared.

iamscaredandworried - oh, must be awful, the waiting, but like you say, you have the weekend to forget it all and just lavish him wiht love and attention. Whatever the outcome (and i pray it goes your way i really do)you will have made the difference to your dogs life, you will have given him the tools to cope with life now with your love attention and training.

4boys, i wonder if crates will go the way of choke chains, everyone thought they were wonderful in the 80s, the dog training magic bullet so to speak. Trouble is, people didn't know how to use them and they did alot of damage. Whilst used correctly i think crates are brilliant training aid, too many people use them incorrectly and the poor dogs end up locked away for hours on end. I think that it could well go the way of choke chains and dominance theory. Like i say, i think they are good thing and would consider a crate for my LBRD (little brown rescue dog or little bastard rescue dog depending on events) but i do worry that people misuse them.

also 4boys - do read the thread, its really very funny, more of a rant than looking for advice, you'll have a laugh x

We used a crate whilst ddog1 was a puppy, zombieplanmum - it really worked for us and her.

HAHAHA - SERVES YA RITE FOR CALLING HIM A SLIME BALL BASTARD. AND THEY SAY DOGS ARE LIKE THEIR OWNERS. HAHAHA [GRIN]

Well dsis has dropped off fluffy puppy

Ds3 19 months is sitting in his crate and fluffy puppy is laying on ds beanbag

My dearly loved labrador (RIP) ate my entire birthday tea when I was around 7. She ate a vast amount chocolate mini rolls, sausage rolls, selection of vol au vents and a whole birthday cake. All taken into the Garden so she could eat it undisturbed. My parents put the wrappers in her bowl at dinner time so she could "think about what she had done" :) She went on to eat my easter egg collection a year or two later, its amazing she survived that really. But still, how I loved that dog :)

My labrador found her way to her own sack of dog food when we were staying with my parents. The volume of the sick that followed would have to be seen to be believed But still, she is a labrador and this is normal, right?

My Jackabea Bumble has just managed to get the cold roast pork for my supper out of my bag when i slipped out. He is in big trouble!

Very funny thread, i'm sat here with tears streaming. Have any of you seen 'text from dog'? google it, they are hillarious!!

ND is now being an arse he has a nipping habit and it is really driving me daft he is doing it for attention and I am trying to correct it by standing up and ignoring him but he does it to dd2 and she isn't as quick as me at getting up and tries and pet him to get him to stop, DD is 14 so she isn't little and not scared of him, soo how do I get him to stop anybody ?