To get my do, put his lead on, gather up his things and drive him back to dogs trust!

[zombieplanmum]

Then leave the little slime ball there until he realises just how cushy he has it!!

Since i have had him he has destroyed 2 lap top chargers, two pairs of crocs, a pair of glasses that cost £160 and i couldnt afford to replace them, having to wear my old prescription, the final straw - the little bastard has just eaten my bed! MY side of the bed too, i can't afford to replace that either so i am going to have to just try and stuff all the wadding back inside and sew it back together. I have had the week from hell, today being the worst of it and then i come home to find out that dog #1 managed to open the bedroom door and bastard dog #2 was clearly having a fine old time of it in my abscence - we are talking 15 minutes while i did the school run

now of course i wouldn't dream of leaving him at the dogs trust, where i got him from, but he needs to understand that he is a very lucky dog - he is spoilt rotten, gets the best dog food, lots of toys and he SLEEPS ON MY FUCKING BED! This is how he repays me, bastard bastard bastard animal!

yes i know its my own fault, i should have put the bungy strap around the door like i always do but i was running late after cleanin the bathroom

onlyaphase I think my favourites are ' I picked a fight with a blind dog but he started it' and I Like to hump THIS CAT

We brought MIL to see our new house and meet our lovely GSD puppy.
Arrived home to find she had managed to somehow open the bedside unit drawer and was lying on our bed chewing a rampant rabbit.
MIL has never looked at me the same since, cheers TerrorDog.

Terror.............. You have really made me grin!!!

I love that link!

When DD2 was potty training, we had to race getting her off the potty and her offerings flushed away before dog ate the contents. He used to sit by her, begging. Dirty bastard

Will I make you all jealous? I got my young rescue collie one year ago today. He hasn't chewed or eaten anything inappopriate at all and has become 100% obedient and really well-trained with little effort on our part.

Hence my username.

#toosmugforwords

We used to have the most gorgeous Doberman.

Who ate Christmas a few years ago

Went to bed late Christmas Eve forgetting to shut her out of the living room, came downstairs in the morning to a disaster - all the presents were chewed open and eaten, all the plastic toys, selection boxes, dvds - everything was ruined, even the Christmas tree was in tatters, I had had little chocolates on, it was awful.

Ds2 said he had heard a noise in the night but thought it was Father Christmas!

lottie I can laugh about it now :) , My dog is nearly 8 now and would still munch anything with batteries in it, can't complain too much about her as I know others whose GSD's have practically ate their house.

Awww thanks for all the replies - have made me laugh so much xx

Apart from the poor lady who finds out about the court case today, that made me cry and I can only pray that the judge sees sense.

Our ddog has also had 2 sky remotes & all DD's Christmas chocolate (thankfully after they'd been opened!) in an audacious schnauzer tag team with my dsis's mini!
He loves to wee on many things including myself on a number of occasions - though the 3 electric fires he has written of by pissing in them is quite special - luckily none were in at the time - that would have (literally) given him a shock! Glad we're not the only dog owners that have this

Erm that should be on - Grrrr auto correct!

Also good luck in doggy court case today - hope gets to stay with people who obviously love & care for him.

OH no eating christmas

This is such a funny thread. Ours is a Lab.....and the thickest creature ever to walk the planet.

He doesn't chew anything any more since he was a puppy, but he cannot stop barking when anyone comes to the door. We have a glass front door. Perhaps he is blind and doesn't recognise any of us, but he can see it is me when I come home and yet is is jumping and barking and howling and ready to knock me down, and then he realises I am not a burglar and has to lie down for a while to recover.

He is 7 now. People said he would settle down by the time he was 2. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED. We sent him to boot camp to try to sort out his problems when he was about 2.5 and had just rather excitedly knocked a random cyclist off his bike in the street in front of our house. He wasn't trying to kill him, just wanted to say hello. Sadly the cyclist didn't see it that way.

Anyhoooo, he 'failed' boot camp, in fact they gave us a week extra free of charge as they were sure there was something they could do with him, But, sadly no. He is very friendly, but he is also huge and for anyone nervous of dogs can seem terrifying. My OH is desperately trying to get rid of him, but the kids love him so much .

We have a chewer. He has a penchant for packed lunch boxes (dd1 currently takes her lunch to school in a Co-Op bag for life because I am sick of replacing packed lunch boxes), teddies, cardboard boxes - which he likes to shred and scatter the bits around the house, the dining chair covering, shoes and toys - can open the toy cupboard too. He can open all doors.

I almost died yesterday when dd2 came downstairs squealing "Shadow has a mice in he's mouth, in my room, and he's killing it all over my bedroom" me: "Shadow has a what?!" dd2: "A mice, he has a mice in he's mouth. In my bedroom! Or might be it's a rat? It's in he's mouth and he's killing it all over my bedroom!" me:

He did indeed have a mice in he's mouth, when I went to check. It was of the felt stuffed with beanies variety unfortunately he had killed it all over the bedroom.

Iamscaredandworried- thinking of you and hope you get the right news today.

Dinosaur sorry that made me laugh out loud

We have lost count of the number of stuffed toys that ddog1 has unstuffed all over the house. I have, on occasion, tried to mend and restuff the poor creatures - indeed, Frankensheep is awaiting my surgical skills at the moment. Frankensheep is so named because his face was pulled off by ddog1, and my best efforts at reconstructive surgery were, to say the least, not pretty. He looks fine from behind, but a bit of a shock, face on. He also has one paw that isn't quite on straight, following a traumatic amputation which I did my best to repair, and an ear that is a shadow of its former self. If I get him mended and washed today (he can't go through the machine until he isn't going to haemorrhage kapok everywhere), I will put a pic of him up on my profile (even though it will forever blight my chances of a career in Plastic Surgery).

Ddog2 has also managed to unravel and twine a whole 100g ball of aran wool round the ground floor of our house - it's the sort of house where you can go from room to room and do a complete circuit, iyswim. I came downstairs to find a clot of yarn at the foot of the stairs, with tentacles leading off down the hall towards the kitchen, and into the lounge and through the dining room, to meet up with the wool in the kitchen in a perfect, unbroken loop. I managed to find a point where the loop was only one strand thick, and cut it there - then spent an entire evening unravelling and untying the complex series of knots that ddog1 had tied the yarn into. Such fun.

This thread is like a support group for chewing-dog owners.

FentonPup is a Lab border collie cross and he chews AND steals food.

::hangs head in shame::

It has been 4 hours since his last crime, - stealing DS2's toast FROM HIS PLATE.

He chews garden benches and broom handles, and has a penchant for the children's cuddly toys (RIP small yellow Yoshi). He does most of his chewing outside in the garden so if he slinks out there and settles down under the trampoline it's fairly certain he has stolen something to destroy.

DS1's school trainers have been missing since September, - it's just dawning on me how they may have met their fate.

Newdogs new thing today licking the floor He went the length of the hall on his knees licking the floor WATF is that all about

Ah now that's where FentonPup is quite handy, - he manages to get all those crumbs up at the edges of the kitchen where the vacuum doesn't always reach

Ah yes, OhDeer - the refuge that is Under The Trampoline - where you need to go in mob-handed if you are to have any chance of retrieving whatever it is they have stolen (tubs of butter, loaves of bread etc etc etc).

I do have to say, though, that ddogs 1 and 2 did come in very handy the day I dropped a tub of sour cream on the kitchen floor, and it split and went everywhere - they cleaned it up so effectively that no further effort on my part was needed. [durtydurtySDTG]

DH goes a bit hysterical when he picks up crumbs He says oh he will be ill I am like meh the floor licking had me amused I thinking oh floor washed for today .

My mil can't even go to the loo without her dog wrecking something.

This week she has eaten the carpet and a pair of shoes.

She is an absolute nightmare of a dog.

dooin I have had to hoick out an actual mouses severed head from HullyGullys mouth.
We don't talk about it

My last dearly departed dog caught a seagull once then she sort of stood in stunned silence she had no clue what to do with the flappy thing in her mouth I curled up into a ball and almost cried I hate birds it was all squaky and flappy I was wimpering please dog spit it out

My leather sofa arm has had it, telephone base unit and lamp plug. So far today it's only the bin that's been emptied. Crossing the back garden in the dark is like an obstacle course with all the holes they've decided to dig in it.

PottyPup has massive sky remote habit. He has eaten £75 quids worth! The wanker.