To not want to hear about it?

[Littlesurprise]

I became a member of MN fairly recently, when OH and I found out we are expecting. Of course, I giddily went straight to the pregnancy section hoping to coo and delight in the wonderful time of life... and it's full of misery.

I understand that sometimes it's helpful to air out your difficulties. But every other post is about MC, and there is a section for that outside of the preggos bit.

It just gets me really down, freaks me out. I'm not saying people should keep it to themselves - far from it, but it is just an ill-considered location. AIBU to feel uncomfortable with there being so much sadness on what I thought was a nice, positive forum?

I suspect I'm being a little bit sensitive I'm allowed to in my condition though, right?, but if I'm BU too, I'll happily go on my merry way; there's plenty of positivity IRL. Just seems a shame...

Congratulations OP. My first ever

I refuse "as one of those women" - i.e. someone who lost DD1 at 32 weeks in February this year and then had a MMC at 12 weeks, 3 weeks ago, to be accused of being selfish and go elsewhere because I've had the temerity to post about my loss on a pregnancy forum and you don't think it's "appropriate" because you want to be all shiney and sparkly about your new pregnancy.

Get over yourself. Oh, and get a dose of compassion and empathy while you're at it, because you are seriously lacking at the moment.

when OH and I found out we are expecting

What are you expecting? A baby?

Well sorry to be the one to break this to you, it's not a done deal, if you are lucky, you will end up with a health baby, but when you have a little more life experience you will realise it is very arrogant to assume that being pregnant always end like that,

I have had fifteen pregnancies, I have three alive healthy children. Now a one in five success rate seems rubbish, but if I didn't live in one of the so called first world countries, it would not be abnormal, any third world country I would be doing well,

The success rate here (UK) still has a lot of losses, it perfectly normal to not complete a pregnancy with a health baby, it is a fact of life.

Children are amazing and precious because it is such a wonder that they are here at all.

I wish you well and hope you never truly understand why your statement at the beginning of this thread is so stupid and offensive.

Oh things are a bit clearer to me now.

Have just done an advanced search of the OP's name and found this posting from a couple of weeks ago:

"Littlesurprise Tue 25-Sep-12 15:49:16

New to MN, 1st pg now 6+4.
Started feeling really wobbly a couple of weeks ago, and haven't been able to keep anything down for the past week. "Morning" sickness, my eye! I feel ghastly 24/7, but I like it. (I say that NOW)"

So it is her first PG after all.

God help someone who'd pretend to have previously suffered a miscarriage to support her argument.....

I feel physically sick

This is my first pregnancy and I also found that there was loads of positivity in RL. The pregnancy forum was the place where I sought (and still seek) reassurance for my fears and worries that I couldn't talk about to anyone else.

Sometime that was about MMCs, sometimes about sickness, pains, cramping, heartburn, insomnia, moodiness, BHs, headaches, consitpation, lack of movement and a million other things (it's a magical time). And I have had a pretty plain sailing pregnancy!

Even though I have been lucky so far, I am still plagued with worry all the time - I can't imagine what some of the people on those threads have been through, but why can't we offer them support? It's pretty mean to view something as heartbreaking as a miscarriage through a prism of how it impacts your happiness.

I think YABU, but probably a bit sensitive at the moment.

Captain agreed.

Pretending to have suffered a mc to try to justify her dreadful post is awful. Shame on you OP if that's true.

If you read all of her posts on previous threads you'd be quite surprised. Reading this one you would think she is all about sweetness and joy.

And to lie about a miscarriage is low

Isn't criticising the way I chose to deal with it a bit hypocritical after all this?

OH's idea - he was worried I would find all the "poor yous" overwhelming. TBH now I just don't give a shit. You en masse aren't my type of people, and I'm sure you agree.

So you lot all carry on clucking, I'm off to get on with life.

You sure as hell aren't my type of person.

Thank god I advanced searched and saw the level of nastiness you were dishing out to everyone for no reason.

But like you said, this forum is just a bit of fluff and you will find other ways to validate yourself

Obviously you choose to validate yourself by being amazingly rude and nasty to other people.

Good luck with that.

Well there's no chance of a 'poor you ' at the moment is there.

I really hope your pregnancy goes well.

Good for you.

This was a particularly nasty OP and the fact that you can't seem to see that or don't care about it is frankly shocking.

Well OP, considering we're not your kind of people, Fuck Off to the far side of Fuck and then fuck off some more.

Netmuns is probably more your kind of place. OK "Hun".

are you normally this selfish? Being pg is not an excuse.

Preganacy, for alot, is shit. Its awful. Many pgs end in miscarriage. its a pregnancy board, not a 'fluffy bits of pg' board.

people who mc should not be banis to only using the mc boards.
Yabu in so many ways especially to criticize someone for how they deal with the loss of their child.

Wow, just wow.

As some one who has had 4mc and 2 healthy children I was very greatfil for somewhere to post honestly about the anxiety and problems as well as the premiture labour, bleeding, lack of movement and many many hospital visits I endured. Pregnancy isn't a fun time for me and I was so greatful for the pg forum and for all the support and advice i recieved.

As for the pg after x mc label, occasionally I used it as it helped others to understand why I was so anxious in the early days.

Op you should most definitely disappear off to the other place. You won't be missed.

Oh wow, OP, you are truly something special. I thought you were just coming across as a smug, insensitive cow, but now it seems you're actually like that.

Blimey, is it one in 3? That's terrible.

OP will be back, with a namechange, when her baby is about 6 weeks.

How bizarre ... I'm still on shock I think!

I can't believe someone could read all these stories written by women still in pain at their children dying and post such awful shit. :(

The boards were the thing that got me through fertility issues, treatment and 2 mcs. I can't imagine for a moment how I'd have managed without them. Thank God I never came across anyone with such a fucking shocking attitude then.

Is this one of those threads where the newbie OP has only really come on to tell us we're all absolutely awful, and she is far superior, and she's flouncing before she's even started?

OP yabvu and I am saddened that any pregnant woman (who may or may not have previously had a miscarriage ) can come out with this insensitive rubbish.

I cannot begin to imagine what many many women have gone through during losses/stillbirths etc. as thankfully the only mcs I have had we're at 5 weeks. If they want to find help/advice/a shoulder to cry on, they can do it wherever the hell they like for all I care. There but for the grace of god that it's not you having to endure that nightmare.

If you have indeed left I'm pretty sure you won't be missed.

I don't know why I opened this thread again.

Who the fuck would LIE about having a miscarriage? What a fucking piece of work you are OP. You horrible horrible evil person.

If anyone had any sense, you'd report this thread.

Littlesurprise. Maybe you need to re-evaluate the 'you en masse aren't my type of people' and just realise that what you said was hurtful and insensitive. I suffer with extreme anxiety so much so I had to have a years worth of CBT so obviously got very scared stumbling upon threads on the internet about MC's or any other types of problems. I had a few issues in my pregnancy i.e low lying placenta, also my little man has a cleft lip (which is very minor and he is beautiful) and so had a few scares myself. Should people keep anything that's not positive to themselves? how F'ing ridiculous as I'm writing this I'm actually becoming increasingly angry at your OP and your pigheaded replies to everyone else.