To not want to hear about it?

[Littlesurprise]

I became a member of MN fairly recently, when OH and I found out we are expecting. Of course, I giddily went straight to the pregnancy section hoping to coo and delight in the wonderful time of life... and it's full of misery.

I understand that sometimes it's helpful to air out your difficulties. But every other post is about MC, and there is a section for that outside of the preggos bit.

It just gets me really down, freaks me out. I'm not saying people should keep it to themselves - far from it, but it is just an ill-considered location. AIBU to feel uncomfortable with there being so much sadness on what I thought was a nice, positive forum?

I suspect I'm being a little bit sensitive I'm allowed to in my condition though, right?, but if I'm BU too, I'll happily go on my merry way; there's plenty of positivity IRL. Just seems a shame...

[OscarPistoriusGirlfriend]

Yep YAbu both of my pregnancies were dreadful and people in RL didn't want to hear about it so having somewhere online to share my experiences was great.

[amistillsexy]

You are Being Very, Very Unreasonable, and, quite frankly, wrong.

I've just visited the pregnancy board, and the thread titles are the usual mix of lighthearted 'What are you craving?' style things, more serious 'Is this normal/will I be OK' type questions (which is exactly where those queries should be!), and one, yes one about a missed miscarriage.

Maybe for you, pregnancy is all hearts and flowers and all you need to do is 'coo and delight in the wonderful time of life'. For others it is a bit more intertwined with real life. There is a place for all on the boards, and in my opinion it is very Bad Form to complain that someone has poted about a miscarriage on a board where you want to 'coo with delight'.

I would suggest you may be happier on a Forum with more tickers....

[picnicbasketcase]

If you think a thread is about MC, don't click. If one you hadn't realised would mention MC does, stop reading. Simple enough.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

But she doesn't want to coo with delight though.

[QuenelleIsOrangeAndGoldForNow]

I had to hide the Pregnancy section after my MC. So you don't need to banish me.

[BrainSurgeon]

Oh dear.... you must be one of those fortunate mums-to-be who have a prefect pregnancy and intend to enjoy every minute.... congratulations you are a very very lucky lady!

Nobody intends to spoil your lovely thoughts and expectations.... it's just that most people here were'nt as lucky as you seem to be.

I don't mean this in a nasty way, but have you tried netmums?

[Fakebook]

but if I'm BU too, I'll happily go on my merry way; there's plenty of positivity IRL. Just seems a shame

Yes you are. Fcuk off.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

You are being very insensitive to other users of the forum.

Pregnancy brings about lots of different experiences for many women, the pregnancy forum not that I've ever been on it is a place to share those experiences.

I wish I knew about MN when I was pregnant with ds2 8 years ago, I had a shit time and it would have been really helpful to share my thoughts and get some support.

Good luck with your pregnancy op, but please remember, pregnancy is not such a joyous experience for everyone.

[Hullygully]

You're right.

Pregnancy should be about flowers and glitter and damn everyone else. SUCH ROTTEN MISERIES. Huh.

[snala]

Come back in 6 / 7 months and tell us all how wonderful being 'preggo ' is.

After the sickness, spd, leaking , wetting yourself , sore boobs, swollen ankles etc

Netmums ---> lots of happy, clappy tickers that way.

[BrainSurgeon]

[DragonMamma]

Oh god. You are being outrageously U.

Pregnancy isn't all sitting on a rocking chair, stroking your bump in a white shirt with shiny hair.

It's full of random bleeds, aches, pains, worries, tests, blah blah blah. LOTS of women have miscarriages, LOTS experience some problems or other and sadly, there are all to many people who don't get to deliver live, healthy babies.

So suck it up or ship out. Basically. You'll not find what you're looking for, anywhere. Life doesn't work like that I'm afraid.

Fingers crossed you don't have any experiences or worries and want to ask whether it's normal or what to expect. Just carry on stroking bump with a wistful look on your face.

[SugariceAndScary]

What a mean spirited person you appear to be!

Perhaps think next time before you type out your thoughts.

[TiAAAAARGHo]

MC is a fact of life and of pregnancy. And I speak from the perspective of having had two. I am also currently pregnant ad, miracle of miracles, have reached term. Now I am just anxious for the baby to actually arrive.

My pregnancy has been hellish due to constant fear and dread. It's not hearts and flowers for me, it's terrifying, and if I want to post about it, I will. Equally, if I'm not up to reading about problems others are having, I will hide those threads. Simple solution.

[Enigmosaurus]

Your OP makes you sound like a really insensitive, thoughtless muppet. I'm sure you're not like that in real life but really, this a horrible thread.

Pregnancy and infant loss is something that is taboo enough without people being expected to hide away in specific areas with the rest of the unfortunate miseries.

Oh and yabvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvu to use 'preggo'. Ugh, makes my skin crawl.

[FutTheShuckUp]

Oh god you sound like one of those nightmare first to 'Mummies to be'
Yes you ARE being unreasonable- very.
I hated pregnancy- both times, it was vile. I love having children. So if I ever decided I wanted another child you're damn right i'd moan and be miserable about pregnancy. If that offends anyone then woe is you quite frankly

[piprabbit]

One of the most profound lessons I have learned from having my family is that there is a huge reservoir of loss and pain associated with so many women's journey to becoming mothers.

It is not often discussed in RL, but whenever, wherever women come together you will hear stories about the darker side of becoming a mother. But the darkness is part of the journey, it shapes us as much as the joy and happiness.

"Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." Carl Jung

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

Ok I beg you all to stop directing the op to the sparkly side.

Op you are without a doubt BU.

And you know that. For a new member you seem to have spent a lot of time on mumsnet being downright nasty and insulting, yet you post an OP about all the negativity?

It's hypocritical to say the least.

[Littlesurprise]

I've miscarried before, I know it's beyond awful. But OH and I have chosen not to overshadow this pregnancy with our loss. Of course, we worry, but we can't let it stop us being happy that we are lucky enough to have another chance at parenthood.

I don't see how it helps anyone to refer to themselves as 'pregnant... after x MCs'. It's certainly not a label I want.

Perhaps the majority of you are right if a little rude. This isn't the place for me, and I'm better off dealing with people, positive or not, IRL. Thanks for the confirmation.

[TiAAAAARGHo]

Oh yes, and I am also someone who had to hide the pregnancy section post MC. And the bereavement section. And several others.

I do envy you though OP - I wish I could regain the mentality that all will be fine. But for those of us who have lost pregnancies, I'm afraid that is gone for good.

[BeingBooyhoo]

MN is not supposed to be a positive place. it's a supportive place and as much as this may surprise you, most people who need support, dont need it when they are having a great positive, problem free pregnancy. they need support when they are having a tough time.

try thinking beyond the end of your nose.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

No, you are certainley not better dealing with people in any situation tbh.

[PeshwariNaan]

Eh? Sorry, I was vomiting multiple times daily for 5 months - I appreciated the help and advice.

Yes, I'm pleased and excited to be pregnant, but it's a major physical undertaking.

Are we all meant to be cheerful and glowing?

[TheProvincialLady]

For intentional use of the term Preggo, I sentence you to life imprisonment at the Bounty forum.

Oh, and even over there pregnancy doesn't entitle you to behave like a spoiled twat.

[TiAAAAARGHo]

In that case I'm bloody impressed that you have recovered the mentality.