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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be shocked at the school

279 replies

wonderingwendy · 17/10/2012 18:40

handing out my 11 year old dd tampons ?
i was really angry .
she knows all about periods and we have a very open relationship ,she has sanitary towels and that is the best option for me and her i believe
im just shocked as to how my little girl would even manage to get a tampon inside her .
the teacher gave it to them and they weren't even in a sex education class.

OP posts:
ShatnersBassoon · 17/10/2012 20:07

Christ. I had a lunatic mother who thought tampons were for women with loose morals. I had to secretly buy some so I could swim on holiday when I was 18. She thought sitting by the pool with a sanitary towel and knickers under my bikini bottoms was OK.

I still feel cross with her for being so ridiculously controlling about personal things.

RubyrooUK · 17/10/2012 20:10

I think TSS is a valid concern witchety. But we were told about TSS every time the word tampon came up at school though. I don't know if there is still the same emphasis on it now, but I remember a lot of TSS information back when I was at school.

DialMforMummy · 17/10/2012 20:12

YAVVU. Tampons are way more hygienic than sanitary towels. They changed my life.

MaryZed · 17/10/2012 20:14

Now, when will we persuade teachers to hand out mooncups?

Witchety · 17/10/2012 20:16

I don't know ruby but I remember seeing a film/documentary about toxic shock and it scared the beejesus out of me!!

Sarahplane · 17/10/2012 20:19

Yabu we got given samples of both pads and tampons in school at that age too. Not sure what the issue is. She has been given both and can make her own mind up about which to use when she needs them. Her body, her decision.

Original poster
wonderingwendy · 17/10/2012 20:23

i was just wanting some opinions and most of you ladies have been very rude to me,i like to think mumsnet is an overall helpfull website and after all parenting doesn't come with an instruction manual.
i have spoken to dd again tonight and appologised for any negative reaction i might of had to tampons ,she said she will give all options a try including a mooncup but she is worried they might hurt,i told her she should give it a try and find out for herself ,i told her she is stretchy inside so it shouldn't.
i do agree my view is outdated but my mother never told me about periods or tampons.
i have only tried tampons myself once and found them uncomfortable but i have NOT told her about my experience as i don't want her to be put off.

OP posts:
AllPastYears · 17/10/2012 20:23

Obviously it is something a teacher should be able to help pupils with, when some parents have such weird attitudes.

Incidentally, my mum gave me sanitary towels but with next to no discussion, and I discovered tampons through friends. This is not a part of my mum's parenting that I wish to repeat with my own daughters.

Hulababy · 17/10/2012 20:24

CailinDana - periods are covered in PHSE in Y5 at DD's school, and sex in Y6. Think this is similar in many schools. I would assume in Y7 it is a recap type lesson.

Hulababy · 17/10/2012 20:25

wonderingwendy - good on you for having another chat with your DD and reassuring her a little. Hope all goes well :)

MaryZed · 17/10/2012 20:26

Good for you for coming back Smile.

To be fair, I don't think most people intend to be rude, just to make sure you know that tampons are perfectly normal, even for 11 year olds. And that the school have to introduce them to children whose parents might not be so comfortable talking about it.

For what it's worth, dd learned how to insert tampons in school, in a cubicle, with older girls shouting instructions under the door Grin. She was just 12, iirc.

sooperdooper · 17/10/2012 20:27

One piece of advice you could give her if she does decide to give them a go is to try after having a nice warm bath, I used to find it much easier

Witchety · 17/10/2012 20:28

Did anyone get given a sanitary belt with loops??

lovebunny · 17/10/2012 20:29

oh dear. they should ask before they give tampons, condoms or any other intimate items to primary school children.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 20:30

Witchety

Not quite, but we were shown a video which must have been from the '60s which showed girls only using those. And they were still being sold in shops when I was a teen

showtunesgirl · 17/10/2012 20:30

Good on you OP for coming back. FWIW, you might want to give tampons another try. If you were finding them uncomfortable, it's usually an angling problem and not far up enough problem.

Trills · 17/10/2012 20:30

If you've only tried tampons once then of course you would find them uncomfortable.

It sounds like you would benefit from a talk from the tampon lady as well.

Some tips on trying tampons here.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 17/10/2012 20:31

sooper

I think they should be sold with a small tube of lubricant

cynister · 17/10/2012 20:31

Wichety, my older sister received knickers with loops, and a sanitary belt too!
Granted, she is ten years older than me..

lovebunny · 17/10/2012 20:31

if she's at secondary, wait for the sex questionnaire in year 9. its almost abusive. 'have you had anal sex? have you had oral sex?'

BeingBooyhoo · 17/10/2012 20:31

they give condoms to primary school children? Shock

am i right in thinking this happened in year 7 and not primary school OP?

Original poster
wonderingwendy · 17/10/2012 20:31

thankyou lovebunny i would of liked to have been asked - this was not in a lesson they were told to go to her in their break and get these from the teacher (female) i could understand it more if it were in a pshe lesson.

OP posts:
halloweeneyqueeney · 17/10/2012 20:32

BEFORE you periods start is exactly the time you need to explore the options, tampons take a bit of playing with before you give them an actual go

I used tampons from shortly after my period started but my mum gave me a box of pads and a box of applicator tampons and a box of non applicator tampons to have a look/play with so I was ready. She never used tampons but what's that got to do with it?

Maisydaisy34 · 17/10/2012 20:32

I get where you are coming from with regards to your daughter wearing tampons, even though I wear them I would be a bit wary of introducing them to my daughter when she hits puberty age, maybe that's just me bring a bit precious but whatever that's how I feel
Yes tampons are more sanitary and I could never go back to wearing pads BUT I wouldn't want my 11 year old wearing them unless I had educated her on toxis shock syndrome and could be sure she understood the importance of changing the tampon regularly, it's so easy to forget you have one in after all.
Yabu to be shocked at the school though they are just giving al the options and possibly giving a lot of teens chance to talk about issues they wouldn't be able to talk about at home

showtunesgirl · 17/10/2012 20:32

lovebunny why? As said up thread, schools have to cover this stuff in case parents don't.

I very much remember a girl at my primary school who flatly refused to believe in periods as her parents hadn't told her and accused me of making it up when I tried to clarify.

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