To wonder why the elevenplus forum parents put their DC through it when

[safflower]

they are so stressed themselves?

Apparently it is results day. There are parents beside themselves whilst they wait for the 4pm email. Some have had children in tears this morning worrying if they have made it. If the parents are suffering, I cannot imagine what those poor children must be feeling.

Oh for goodness sake! People put their children through it because they want a decent education for their children.
My DD2 has just got her 11 plus results. She has done extremely well and should hopefully get a place at a superselective girls' grammar.
Was it stressful? Yes
Was it worth it? Yes
I want the best for her and she is a bright child who is keen to learn. Why wouldn't I do the best for her?

What is the difference between selective and superselective? This 11 plus thing intrigues me now.

We are in Kent. For some schools you need to simply pass the 11 plus to get a place, for other schools (the "superselectives") you need a very high score to get a place.

I just think we all want the best for our children. Obviously if they haven't a chance of passing it would be unfair to put them through it but if a child is capable, and wants to do it and it is possibly the gateway to a terrific (and free) education then I can't understand why you wouldn't do it. Surely anything worth having requires hard work and it is never too early to learn this lesson.

But if there aren't Grammar schools in our area we don't need to worry about it presumably?

Not sure I like the wording of all this 'selective' stuff but I understand wanting to do the best for your child.

I didn't coin the term superselective, it is what they are called!

It's not an ideal system. It is very brutal for those who fail or who fail to achieve the scores they need for the school they want, but if you can make it work it can be a way to get a very good education for your child. So although I don't for a minute think it is a perfect system I do understand why parents put themselves and their children through the stress and worry. I was very stressed waiting for the results on Wednesday at 4pm and I can only imagine how awful it must be if you didn't get the result you want.

But no if you are not in a grammar school area, you don't have to worry.

I feel very lucky I didn't have too, we are far enough from the grammar that our local comp doesn't loose many students.

Had our choice been the secondary modern comp. nearest the grammar school it would have been another story.

I didn't think you did Christina it's ok. Sounds awful though doesn't it? perhaps there will be Super-super selective next.

DS1 goes to a brilliant High School and I count myself lucky that he can.

Yes I know what you mean - and the system is far from perfect. But the op asked why people put themselves and their children through it and, sometimes, you have to do what you can within the system that exists. And where we live - this is the system there is.

Anyway glad you are happy with your High School!

I think if it existed round here I would feel bad if I didn't try, thinking about it. I would see everyone else doing it and be all panicky.

In my day we all just took the 11+ too.

But there was a different allocation for diff schools as some girls def shouldn´t have been there!

Just jumping on to drunkenly shout WHOOPPEE ds has passed for our local amazing grammar school, so has his best mate from nursery onwards, so happy. He passed really well and we didn't do masses of work like many have so I feel really confident that he will be able to cope when he gets there. We didn't stress him at all, all went as it should, totally chuffed.

i don't know what counts as 11+. perhaps it doesn't happen here. my daughter took entrance exams for independent school. at the very posh one, all the parents were stressed out - one daddy was walking on the edge of the kerb like a four year old, arms out at his sides for balance and i was in a state of terror all morning. she got in but didn't take the place because our local independent was nearer and more friendly. she liked it. it looks like her own daughter will be going to the kindergarten.

Non-British here and living in Scotland, where people just seem to send their children to the nearest school, so apologies if I miss the point completely...

I think there's something depressing about having what essentially seems like a two-tiered "quality" system of state education. I don't advocate pandering to the lowest denominator, but surely there are many ways to cater for different levels in a "normal" school?

has anybody's dc failed the test on here

how did the parent/child feel afterwards

Agree with poppy. Am in Scotland and there isn't any 11+. The Dcs just go to the nearest high school and that's that. Shimples

No one on MN would have a child that would fail the grammar test.

Yes thekidsrule, DC3 'failed' (although of course no one actually fails - they just aren't deemed suitable fora grammar education!).

DS1 and DS2 both passed, despite neither having any tuition.

DS3 is a very different child and was keen to try but unlikely to pass (he is mildly dyslexic - not apparently bad enough to get extra time in the test, but enough to slow down his reading). He had tuition from Easter until Oct when he sat the test, but (rightly) didn't pass. He is fairly bright, but would still have struggled at his brothers school. Luckily we are in the catchment of an excellent comp, so got a place there.

He was disappointed, despite us doing all we could before hand to make sure he had a realistic expectation of where he stood and this was exacerbated by not only his brothers having passed, but ALL his best friends from primary.

He has however settled in perfectly well at his new school and is in the best place for him and his abilities.

I think Grammar schools are great, a fantasic engine of social mobility that enables my family to progress and I think YABVU. I fully expect to be a minority of one on MN becasue this is the Grauniad at lactation.

busyboysmum great news and well done. x

Oldmumsy, in my area they aren't an engine of social mobility. Most GS places go to kids who've been educated at private primaries, or kids whose parents can afford private tuition (£30 an hour here), or to kids whose parents are bright enough/motivated enough to tutor them at home.

A 'bright' kid from a family not engaged with the GS process/education, coming from an inner city primary wouldn't stand much of a chance here.

And I say that as an 11+ forum member and the parent to 2 kids at grammar schools.

Ali my DH and I would beg to differ as we were from WC families who passed the 11+. Peer group pressure otherwise stifles these kids.

Ali the exam is wrong where you are, it should be a standardised IQ test.

But surely IQ tests prove nothing? Even companies don't make their applicants take the standard ones anymore because it's understood that there are different indicators for different people.

Also, you can have a child with an excellent scientific/analytical mind that struggles with reading and comprehension (good example up thread is mild dislexia) or children with unusual artistic sensibilities.

Poppy, all I can say is that DH and I really benefited, as has one of our DDs from this sort of academic education, we are all on the sciences/problem solving side though. Other DD did lanuages via SM and latterly the GS and is now at unit too but she suffered from class disruption to a much greater level than her sister. In retrospect I would have removed her to private school but she has recovered quite well. This is a source of regret for me.

independents work, for social mobility. daughter (small local independent). son in law (public school).