To wonder why the elevenplus forum parents put their DC through it when

[safflower]

they are so stressed themselves?

Apparently it is results day. There are parents beside themselves whilst they wait for the 4pm email. Some have had children in tears this morning worrying if they have made it. If the parents are suffering, I cannot imagine what those poor children must be feeling.

busyboysmum I'm in Trafford too. It annoys me that applicants from out of Trafford can apply, it doesn't seem fair since I am catchmented out of their schools! But it is a long way off for us (DD is reception).

also if you live in an 11+ area you don't put your children in for the 11+.They are automatically entered unless you write to the LEA several months beforehand to withdraw them from testing.So 11+ isn't always a pushy parent thing!!

socharlotte. Not true in all areas - children here have to be entered by their parents & taken to an exam centre on a Saturday, so some parental involvement is required for a child to sit the test.

That's not true here socharlotte.

It's still the thing here. Everyone does it. It's Kent.

Thinking about this I am considering not putting ds in for it at all. I think he's going to fail - not from being stupid, but from being a panicker. He will be able to answer the questions, he has an IQ above 140 but he won't understand what the question means.

I passed mine but still remember the day we found out and the instantaneous divide in the class - the kidswho didn't pass were gutted, the ones who did felt embarrassed.

It was an awful thing for children to go through

ds is terrified all his friends will go to the grammar school, and he will be left behind.
But what if he fails - I can't do that to him. I'd rather he didn't take it tbh but the other schools round here are sh*t.

I remember when I got my 11+ results and I jumped up and down screaming and my mum cried. So, I guess there was a bit of pressure then. But, what's wrong with a bit of pressure now and then anyway? It's character building!

But what if you hadn't passed? What then?

Thank god we didn't have to go through all this and were in blissful ignorance of the system in some areas.

I was absolutely hothoused as a child. By 18 I was at Cambridge University and playing in the International Youth Orchestra. I was also severely depressed but was told by my parents if I left Uni they would never speak to me again.

I have NEVER forgiven them and hope they rot in hell!

Pushy parents do not do it for their child's sake. They do it to have a trophy child to brag about.

I will never push my son at anything. If he works as a bin man and is happy doing it he will be a success in my eyes.

Best thing is to ask them to try and decide on the type of course and the uni's they may be interested in and check the entry requirements. I think physics/maths are to be avoided unless it is a definite requirement for the scientific course they are interested in. I would recommend a science though. I know a friend who changed her mind and wanted to do nursing but needed a science subject to apply.

If anyones still reading ignore me I posted on the wrong thread .

Dd got her results last week. She was totally nonplussed as she was baking a cake at the time.

But, aab3 it seems that your parents were far, far, far to one end of the pushy-relaxed spectrum.

Talking with your kids about the opportunties and encouraging them to work to their full potential isn't the same as threatening them with withdrawal of all family contact if they don't do as you say - that is just awful and I'm sorry you had to experience it.

I'm very much expecting to move to Kent just so my children can take the 11+ and hopefully pass with a good enough grade to go to Grammar school.

Slightly off topic but not really, does anyone on here know whether there really is an entrance exam being held on the 17th November this year (Northern Ireland)?

Only if there isn't then someone in real life has sort of not been entirely honest with me about something and I am a bit worried...

Ah never worry all sorted oops!

Because they are mad. Not to put their children through the 11 plus but to place so much pressure on themselves and their kids. I'm afraid I read that forum purely for entertainment. If only they could sit it themselves, they have every past paper since 34BC memorised!

I was far more stressed about the results than my DS, just as i was more nervous on the test day! He was very chilled about the whole thing, although very pleased with his results. I didn't mention the tests on the morning of the results and I don't think he realised they were expected (until other people at school told him) The reason I put myself him through it was because we live in an 11+ area and he was keen to try out for the grammar schools. I wouldn't have done it if he hadn't been keen.
I found the 11+ forum very helpful with the preparation, as we didn't use a tutor. And it's not all extreme parents there. Often if someone comes on to talk about doing two papers a day in the summer holidays, everyone else tells them they're overdoing it.

Well they all seem to have failed at DD's old primary school and now the one's who've passed are almost embarrassed and the ones who've failed are all in tears, nightmare.

I'm starting to think very vaguely about 11+ for my DD, wondering about tutoring, what support school with give her etc.

I decided to dabble my toes in the water over on the elevenplus forum, just to see what sort of things I needed to start thinking about.

Instead I found a thread in which the parents were heatedly debating the make, softness and exact variety of pencil to send in with their children. Oh, and debating the effectiveness of different rubbers.

I ran away and am currently in denial about the whole subject.

Pip, you have to tutor to stand a chance, seriously, some are lucky and manage without most i've spoken to who don't tutor the first child, cotton on by the 2nd and then kick themselves.

Mosman - thanks. Almost no children pass in my area, so I can't draw on the experience of other parents locally. It scares me silly - especially as we are skint at the moment .
Still - DD is only Y4, so I have a little bit of time to get my head around it all. We have a stack of past papers that a friend gave us which I look at when I want to scare myself senseless.

It seems so so wrong that you can study for a test intended to discover potential not education, it's now such an unfair way to decide school places that it really needs a full review.

We didn't tutor ds2 and he passed his 11 plus.

Mosman - they have to do practice papers, or they won't stand a chance. We had to teach him some maths as some of the work isn't even covered in year 6, let alone year 5 (and he took the examin September of year 6). But you don't need a tutor. There's plenty of material out there if you want to do it without spending ££££'s.

Oh sorry pip rather than mosman

Familiarisation of the layout is one thing, but tutoring is ridiculous imo. My children's head teacher said it would only ever improve the score by a few marks. It's like revising for an iq test!
I withdrew my ds from it, he is of average to bright intelligence but he would never manage at a grammar, he is not academic enough.