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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want to see charity collectors in my supermarket every weekend?

32 replies

Flossyfloof · 14/10/2012 14:56

Yet again when I nipped to my local supermarket earlier to get just a couple of bits I was embarrassed to see some people collecting for charity. Someone else was there yesterday. I gave yesterday and didn't want to give today (a different charity). They seem to have someone right in the doorway every weekend and it is impossible to avoid them, either going in or coming out. I do give to charity but when for whatever reason I am not going to it makes me feel very mean and embarrassed.
I know that if they didn't stand there people probably wouldn't give and I do appreciate them giving up their time - but I don't like being made to feel uncomfortable. AIBU?

OP posts:
FamiliesShareGerms · 14/10/2012 14:59

Yes, YABU

Original poster
Flossyfloof · 14/10/2012 15:00

OK then!

OP posts:
Trills · 14/10/2012 15:00

If they are making you uncomfortable or harassing you than YWNBU to complain to the supermarket.

If you just feel uncomfortable because of their presence then that's your problem, not theirs.

Original poster
Flossyfloof · 14/10/2012 15:02

It is me feeling uncomfortable mostly but some of them actually ask for donations. That makes me feel baaaaaad.

OP posts:
Trills · 14/10/2012 15:03

"Sorry no, I do my charity giving online so I can Gift Aid it"

"Sorry, no, I have my charity giving sorted thanks"

"No, sorry."

"Not today"

(Clearly I'm very English, I feel like I have to say sorry)

Mrsjay · 14/10/2012 15:04

well you could either put a few pence in their tin or not If you feel bad then that isn't there fault how else are charities supposed to get money, but TBH the collectors wouldn't damn you to hell if you don't put money in the tin ,

Mrsjay · 14/10/2012 15:05

their*

germyrabbit · 14/10/2012 15:05

get.over.yourself

Orangelephantshavewrinkles · 14/10/2012 15:05

They are not allowed to ask you to give or indeed jangle the tin. Your op is a little harsh though and I would say YABU.

Mrsjay · 14/10/2012 15:07

They are not making you feel uncomfortable you are making you feel uncomfortable,

Trills · 14/10/2012 15:08

Charity collectors do expect that many people will not give anything as they walk past. They will not be shocked or upset or angry that you don't wish to give.

SilkandSteel · 14/10/2012 15:08

They are not actually allowed to ask directly, or even shake a tin! I agree, it gets a bit much particularly (not necessarily everywhere) when there is a charity collector, then an AA/RAC stand, then inside the store someone accosts you to talk about energy suppliers. It does get a bit wearing saying no time and time again.

Acumens100 · 14/10/2012 15:12

I was accosted in a Sainsburys once by someone demanding money for some carers charity. She really tried to shame me. I wish I had said to her that I am a carer and I've never seen a penny or a minute of support from any bloody charity in my whole life! But I didn't. I just never went in that Sainsburys again. That's the answer, I guess. Just don't shop there.

KatyPeril · 14/10/2012 15:13

I'd rather they do this than start knocking on my front door!

Hopeforever · 14/10/2012 15:14

The easiest thing to do is look directly at them and smile. You are acknowledging they are human and there, but not needing to give them anything or explain why you are not giving.

McHappyPants2012 · 14/10/2012 15:17

I don't mind cash collectors, what I hate is bag packers. Leave my shopping alone I have a little system :)

wannabedomesticgoddess · 14/10/2012 15:18

YABU.

Its not your supermarket. And feeling embarrassed is your issue not theirs.

I dont like them either. But I get over it.

MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 14/10/2012 15:19

Yabu.
I give to some and not others.
And politely say, I have no change or not today thankou.

I will be selling poppies soon, and will hearing"oh my poppy is on my other coat" a lot. Smile

Trills · 14/10/2012 15:20

Last year I didn't walk past a single poppy-selling person.

I don't know how, or why, but at no point did one cross my path.

Original poster
Flossyfloof · 14/10/2012 15:22

I usually organise poppies at my work. A neighbour does them as well. It is probably the only thing I would give to at the door.

OP posts:
MrsRobertDuvallHasRosacea · 14/10/2012 15:25

Sadly Trills there aren't enough people volunteering.
All the stalwarts are basically dyingSad or too old to stand outside in November.

I would never give to charity at the door.

ZZZenAgain · 14/10/2012 15:26

YANBU

ilovesooty · 14/10/2012 15:30

As long as they're not harassing you I agree with those who say your feelings are your own responsibility.

JenFrankenstein · 14/10/2012 18:09

I hope it wasn't us as we were bag packing today. We always tell our girls to ask politely if you want help with packing and if they are not needed to stand well back out the way and always say thank you. We also remind them all heavy items on the bottom, frozen stuff together etc at the start.

Younger girls are usually in pairs or will have a leader very close by to supervise. We try to keep an eye on all the girls as much as possible without hovering over them constantly. We try not to make anyone feel uncomfortable and if any of the girls are mucking around we will pull them off the till. If someone was to accept packing help and then not give any money we do not think any less of them. It is purely voluntary to give a donation and we do remind the girls of this.

glitch · 14/10/2012 18:26

YABU
You dont have to give anything, you have a choice. They won't expect everyone to give something and won't think badly of the people who don't. Perhaps you could try collecting for a charity for a few hours, you may then appreciate that they are not trying to make you feel bad, just really grateful to anyone who puts a few pence in.