To think DH should'nt tell PIL my private business?

[charlottehere]

So, I'm in the final trimester of my pregnancy and have gestational diabetes. Dh feels he should tell PIL, he seems to think it is somehow their right to know and they will wonder why they weren't told if they find out, he also is worried about me talking to them will not help.

I feel it nobodies business except mine and Dh, Mil will make snidely comments and it will become about her and how worried SHE is.

What do you think?

I have considered that yes I was thinking of telling him that its only a joke if everyone is laughing including the person its aimed at.

Also-

does taking the piss out of others help with your feelings of inadequacy and low self esteem?

Im armed!

What about a very bored "I don't care about anything you think about anything"

It's very effective

I would you really shouldn't put up with it. Go for it you have the mn force behind you!!

Yeah i like that one.

How about i laugh and then - Oh its so funny how you actually anyone is interested in the nasty things you have to say.

Of course there is - that sounded so rude! Did you mean to be so rude?

And - your son is a grown man and a good one at that, how about you treat him with the respect he deserves.

Yes, or a tinkling laugh and a kind smile and a patronising "oh bless you, you're such a funny little man"

I like that!

I like the funny little man one. would love to see his face

Are you noting these down charlotte?

Meant to post this a few hours ago but had to go to bed - anyway:
No I don't believe they have a right to know, especially if there is a chance they will use it against you.

My mum lost her 2nd baby (congenital malformations, no chance of life), poss due to an evil flu virus - but that didn't stop her nasty SIL telling her MIL that it was all Mum's fault, down to her "bad blood" (WTAF??). because they knew that mum was Rh neg. Then when Mum, got pg again, her MIL said to her that she'd better not screw it up because she (MIL) never wanted to see her son in that state again - y'know, cos my mum hadn't suffered at all from the loss of her baby, oh no.

My grandma wasn't evil but she blamed my Mum for "taking Dad away" and was never nice to her. Lots of snidey comments, nothing overt - Dad did stand up for Mum once in the early days which put paid to a lot of the overt nastiness but he never found out about the underhanded shit. :(

Sorry, but I don't think this constitutes 'your private business'. The diabetes may affect you and your DHs unborn baby, and therefore if he wishes to share the information with those closest to him, he should be allowed.

YANBU to want and expect him to stand up to any 'snidey comments' that may ensue. Whether this condition has been exacerbated by anything you've done or not, it will not help to dwell on it or make you feel guilty, especially in the early days with your baby.

Thumb. That's awful!

He needs a support net work too. Is there someone you would be comfortable for him to talk about?

Or he give him permission to tell them as long as they promise never to raise the subject with you?

YANBU and I'm so glad your DH has decided not to tell them

A pregnancy is nobody's buisiness but the woman preganant, of course most women are happy to share the experience with their partners and family. But all information is confidential and all decisions and choices are for the mum alone to make unless she decides to involve others

Your DH sounds fab and the issue is sorted now but I was going to suggest you ask if he'd be ok with you telling your mum all the details of his erectile disfunction/haemorrhoids/premature ejaculation should they occur

If a woman didn't want to she wouldn't even have to tell the baby's father about conditions like gd affecting her so she sure as hell doesn't have to tell anyone else

I tell no one nothing and it seems to work

Out for me! Tbh both sides are pretty toxic but my mother is the worst. If you phone her up with good news, she says 'and?' If you don't tell her the good news, you will never hear the end of it. You can't win. My sisters are the same. People in the office were talking about close bonds in their families, in particular female bonds and I don't recognise this at all. I won't put myself out there to have it thrown back and used against me. This makes me guarded and the only person I can trust is DP. Op, YADNU in the slightest, good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!!!