To think DH should'nt tell PIL my private business?

[charlottehere]

So, I'm in the final trimester of my pregnancy and have gestational diabetes. Dh feels he should tell PIL, he seems to think it is somehow their right to know and they will wonder why they weren't told if they find out, he also is worried about me talking to them will not help.

I feel it nobodies business except mine and Dh, Mil will make snidely comments and it will become about her and how worried SHE is.

What do you think?

Would he consider cutting contact with them? They sound beyond awful and I would worry about them being around children.

I'm amazed you both have anything to do with them fuckadoodle? I suppose they must have some hold over dh?

I know what you mean fucka about basically you feel like you are being called a liar. My DH will say, oh they didn't mean it like that, my M is just ditsy she plays on that etc, I think it easier for him to do this (sometimes) than accept they don't like me and are plain nasty to me.

Also the ripping you to pieces verbally, yep FIL shouts at me . I dared to object to them letting my DDs go for a walk with their male neighbour (who I had never met) and I got it.

Oops. Have seriously hijacked now! So sorry op, i didn't mean to do that!

My dh is having counselling to deal with his issues so we're going from there. They do have a massive hold over him. Its weird though because when they said some horrible stuff to me his response was to either pretend it didn't happen or have nothing more to do with them (not sure the second one would have happened but he mentioned it) but it didn't even cross his radar that he could just have a word with them about it! He is completely incapable of that, just saying "i am not happy with the way you spoke to my wife".

Op. On the one hand your dp should be able to discuss stuff with his family if he wants, but on the other if they have a record of crossing boundaries, being a nightmare etc then he should understand how you feel and respect it.

ouch yes. if you dh does not take your word for what was said it is tantamount to calling you a liar. it does not help the relationship.

cutting them out would be good.

I think a chat with DH about my expectations regarding the birth and after are in order, although as we have 3 DC already I wouldn't have thought he needed reminding.

He shouted at you about that?! Bloody hell. I don't blame you for objecting to that. My fil won't have anyone disagree with him and is quick witted whereas i am not. Im not sure he would shout or not but he would use his intellect to make me look like a fool and take the piss. Once he starts down that road there is no stopping him. No one says anything. Fear maybe or just putting up with it? He often talks to his wife like shit in front of friends and tries to make her look bad. The last time he was talking as though she were his servant.

Yes make it clear what you want. I think dads wishes should be respected as its their baby too, but when it you with your legs in the air or after with blood coming out all over the place then your needs come first.

Blimey charlotte what a bully FIL is and how irresponsible wanting a stranger to take her out?

TBH, curious, they are both bullies. I have seriously considered not allowing DC to go out with them but as they are the only GPs, I feel it is important that they have a relationship with them.

Having said that 11 year old DD finds it a real strain being around them but still wants to see them/gets excited etc.

Well at least if your dcs see the contrast between your home life and theirs it may make them realise how good home is? They sound awful I'd want to emigrate to get away!

PMSL @ curious, did think of that but the thought of months of them visiting put me off!

Oh heck yes I didn't think of that. Although there are vast areas in Oz you could 'lose' them in

Horrace. I would never tell my fil that he was more intelligent than me! Id never hear the end of it. He's more one of those bullies who is really quick with the put downs and quick to deflect attention. He's got a good memory for facts so is clever in that way as well but stupid in that he takes the piss out of anyone who is a bit vulnerable. He can get really nasty. He's one of those that if you ever object he does the Can't you take a joke line. Arsehole!

Op. I meant to say earlier, considering you know that your mil will use the information as a stick to beat you with, have you pointed that out to your dh? I can't see how he can argue with that unless he has his head in the sand about it.

DH has promised me that he won't tell them anything I don't want them to.

him to

"as they are the only GPs, I feel it is important that they have a relationship with them. "

why?

If someone is a nasty shit, should they be allowed in your life on the grounds that they're the only nasty shit you've got?

That's great charlotte, good result :)

fuckadoodle have you tried telling fil jokes are supposed to be funny? And he's the only one laughing?