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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect more than one evening's notice (wed night) for booking parents' evening slot on Monday?

30 replies

petal33 · 11/10/2012 20:30

Found letter in DD's book bag last night (10th) dated 9th Oct, requesting preferred time slots for parents' evening on 15th. Deadline for response was today. No ther warning for it.
We have DD2 in pre-school (different place to school) & have no family nearby to babysit, & at that sort of notice & for the 4-8 time slots it's v difficult for friends too. DH on-call last night, so couldn't discuss with him.
AIBU to think one night to arrange childcare etc is a bit tight?!

OP posts:
ByTheWay1 · 11/10/2012 20:35

we take the kids with us - pre-school kids are in room, and the child whose parent evening it is sits quietly outside the class - this is common in our school

PatriciaHolm · 11/10/2012 20:38

We take kids too! Sit them in the library with a book or DS console for the 10 min meeting and they can show us their work before/after.

TerrorCottaPumpkinPie · 11/10/2012 20:39

Yep, normal here to take kids with you and they sit quietly (mostly) outside.

And no notice is a bit too common here as well. Unfortunately.

redwhiteandblueeyedsusan · 11/10/2012 20:44

if they do not give adequate notice, then they deal with the consequences of having children at parents evening. if enough people do that and say that they can not arrange child care at such notice then they wwill get the message.

I have always taken the children. they are mostly well behaved.

nailak · 11/10/2012 20:46

childcare? for parents evening?

no one gets a baby sitter for parents evening!

nailak · 11/10/2012 20:46

I mean the whole are would run out of babysitters, surely!

3duracellbunnies · 11/10/2012 20:57

We're not allowed children on site for parents evening. We were given notice but then they have given me two ten minute slots which mean that I have to be out of the house for over an hour at bed time because there isn't time to go home inbetween. Sadly I think I made a mistake and dh won't be home in time for first one, so will arrange a different time to see the teacher. Next time I will just choose 3 time slots and they can work around me. Sounds as if you will have to take the dc with you let them figure that you can't magic up a babysitter at short notice, maybe next time they will give you more notice.

Original poster
petal33 · 11/10/2012 20:58

Well, I don't want girls, esp DD2, going to bed late on a Monday (they're tired (& cranky) enough as it is having both started school & pre/school this term).
Due to not getting in to a local school (grrrrrr!) we can't easily pop home to give DD1 some tea & come back, & then I also need to collect DD2 from preschool.
Time of parents' evening is 4-8pm, but DH can't get to school until 6pm at very earliest, but desperately wants to come too. I have no idea yet of what time slot we may be given either. Is this normal? I think it sucks, but still getting used to this school malarkey

OP posts:
nothingbyhalves · 11/10/2012 21:02

Schools should publish their school calender at the start of the academic year. You need more than a weeks notice. In some cases parents have to organise shift swaps etc. YANBU.

Tuttutitlookslikerain · 11/10/2012 21:03

When our two were smaller, one of us would go and the other would stay at home with the children if it was late.

Even now, DH can't necessarily come, that's the joy of being in the Forces. As long as one of us goes, we can tell the other one later on.

ByTheWay1 · 11/10/2012 21:04

if you are that bothered about the kids bedtime - only one of you needs to go to the parents evening, the other can stay home with the kids.... no big deal...

MrsKeithRichards · 11/10/2012 21:06

Sounds pretty normal, you either all go en masse or you pop down on your own or you take kids on your own if slot is before dh home. Maybe reply with your preferred slot and see what they give you. Our school do 7 minute slots and they are running late after 3! I got the last slot 7.53 and didn't get seen until 8.30! The janitor was pacing the halls desperate to lock up!

PoppyScarer · 11/10/2012 21:09

My DH has moved heaven and earth so that he can work from home and be there for DD's first parent's evening, but then he missed her first day at school so he has ground to make up Hmm

We have bagged an early slot and rejigged DC2's Childcare to pick him up a bit later. DD will sit outside the classroom, apparently this is normal.

I've also been told that it's a good plan to make friends with other mums and make reciprocal arrangements to watch each others' kids whilst getting adjacent time slots.

Katisha · 11/10/2012 21:13

Schools just don't seem to believe that some of us need to plan ahead. Drives me bonkers.

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 11/10/2012 21:28

Even if a school told me children aren't allowed for parents evening I would still take them if I couldn't get a babysitter. DP isn't always available at the times given out, they have games consoles and are very quiet when I need them to be.

In fact, I have done this once, although I would prefer to get a babysitter in. I pointed out that 24 hours notice of a time slot was not enough time to get a babysitter.

lovelyladuree · 11/10/2012 21:32

I think schools have enough to worry about without having to consider everyone's childcare arrangements too.

OddBoots · 11/10/2012 21:34

It's easier now they are older but we had the same trouble, we had to take it in turns to go to parents evening.

FryOneGhoulishGhostlyManic · 11/10/2012 21:34

Maybe they do have enough to worry about, but some notice would be good....

FamiliesShareGerms · 11/10/2012 21:36

I am having a similar argument with school at the moment: parents evening is on 23rd, and the slots range from 1545 to 2000. They don't intend to send out the letters asking us for preferences until sometime next week, so we won't know when our slot is until pretty much the day before. WHY CAN'T THEY SEND THE BLARDY LETTER NOW??? Sorry for shouting, but - as you can tell - it's really pissing me off.

And to compound it, there was a letter home this week with a permission slip for an activity in three week's time, but requesting a next day return.... Grrrrr.... Angry

ImaginateMum · 11/10/2012 21:36

nailak round here EVERYONE gets a babysitter for parents evening. The school is near a strip of restaurants and everyone sneaks out for meals afterwards. It's hilarious, you could honestly go into any local restaurant and they'd be 95% school parents that night.

wonkylegs · 11/10/2012 21:37

At least you get a decent time slot - ours was between 2pm and 5pm - you got to state 2 preferences but no guarantees (I didn't get either of mine)
Both DH & I work full time, so I ended up having to take annual leave (that precious little I have already covering holidays, inset days oh and the stupid half day starts for the first few weeks) so I could go.

imperialstateknickers · 11/10/2012 21:41

We had trouble with timeslots one year, DP on shifts, we just arranged to see the class teacher one after-school afternoon when DP was off rather than go for the official evening.

Startailoforangeandgold · 11/10/2012 21:43

nothingbyhalves can we have an annual dates list? This has been the cry at the DDs primary for years!

The secondary can manage it, but it's totally beyond them.

Notes and texts at the last possible moment are the norm. Angry

tearoomtrash · 11/10/2012 21:51

But you could have an appointment with the teacher at any time of the year, not just parents eve. Just ask her/him if you could make an alternative appointment in a week/month/whenever is mutually convenient.

DrCoconut · 11/10/2012 21:57

DS1's junior school used to have parents' "evenings" between 15:00 and 17:30. So no good for most working parents then. When I used to go and explain that I couldn't attend because of work and not being allowed trm tie holiday they would look at me like I'd just arrived from mars. Now DS is at secondary it's better but still! Schools have no idea sometimes.

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