To be unsure if I was assaulted by BIL?

[ShavingPrimateRyan]

A few weeks ago we went to my DH's brother's engagement party. It was at PILs house, we didn't have the kids so I was drunk (but not majorly so), pretty much everyone was.

I went to the toilet but pil don't have a lock on the upstairs bathroom. When I was washing my hands BIL came in and put his arms around me from behind, I thought it was a bit weird but he was doing it in a friendly way iyswim. When I tried to shrug him off he put his hands up my dress and down my leggings and started to grope me. I pushed him away and went downstairs but he kept trying to grab at me as I was leaving the bathroom.

The next day he text me saying that it was better off we forgot what happened and there was no point telling our other halfs. The thing is DH is really close with his brother and I don't know what to do because I feel I've left it too long to tell him now.
BIL and his fiancé are getting married abroad and DH keeps saying that we should book flights and tickets soon but I feel so awkward about the situation...I really don't want to spend time on holiday pretending everything is alright.

Well done.

I suspect that your BIL was depending on your shyness in not telling your DH. As others have said, the wording of his text is designed to make it sound like a drunken fumble by mutual consent. It wasn't. It was an assault.

Well done again and have fun in Brighton.

Good for you.

I'd still send him porca's text, and add to the end of it "DH knows all about it, and he's watching you too."

That'll put the shit up him, knowing that his brother knows what he did.

I think Porca's text is ace BUT I'd jiggle the wording a bit so that it was 100% clear you didn't engage in anything sexual with him. If anyone else saw it, it's not clear - it could be construed as you two having a fling and you calling him a pervert after the fact.

Well done OP - don't underestimate how awful this has been for you. And, just in case there is the teeniest niggle/voice at the back of your head - this was NOT your fault.

I see you have already told your DH, but I wanted to add, if you have any difficulty talking about it to him, you could always show him this thread.

Porcamiseras text is ace. You could add. And I have told my husband, and he is not impressed.

Yes yes to jiggling

Well done in being so brave. You obviously care for your partner very much but Im glad you put your needs first, and it sounds like he will be supportive (as he should be!). Enjoy your day out as a family.