to think that 40 years old is NOT too old to become a Mother, whether it is tbe first time or not?

[SoleSource]

I am 39 soon and would like to have another baby.

Sorry, had him when I was 43 (perhaps I can't count now !!).

40 better not be too old otherwise I'm up the creek.

what FlaminNora said!

I havent read the other posts, so I shall just comment from own experience. 40 is not too old, of course it isn't - is 2012 and frankly its pretty normal where I live for parents to be 'older'. I am the 'norm' at 38 with a nearly 3 year old and a 5 year old but I know many women who have recently had a child at 40.

Thirty years ago, my family was far from the norm - my dad was 37 when I was born and was without exception the oldest dad of all my friends by about a decade. But that was 30 years ago.

Of course our bodies may disagree - we know the statistics about fertility and other issues as we get older, but the fact remains until we reach the menopause then in theory there is no reason we should stop reproducing. If I didn't already have two I would go for it at 40. I'm too knackered now after 6 years of broken sleep - but if I didn't have them already then I'd go for it!

My mum was 43 when she had my sister. She has felt having a child in her 40s has kept her young. She has kept up to date with fashion, music and tech advances. She has never been mistaken for my sister's gran and twice in her 60's has been mistaken for my DD's mum. Both times when she said she was the gran the person said they could'nt be sure these days as there are so many mothers in their 40s!

Havent had time to read all posts but the most admirable mother I know (lovely kids, happy home, chilled out) was 39 when she had her first and 41 ith her second. She says if she had had kids in her 20s/early 30s she would have been much more stressed, time and confidence has given her what she needed.

Doesn't apply to everyone I know!!

I am 36 and pg with my first. I think probably you're less knackered if you're 10 years younger. But I also would never have coped in my 20s or early 30s, I was a total wreck...

I don't think it's too old for other people.

It's just too old for me but that's because I had ds1 at 16, ds2 at 25, ds3,4 and 5 at early to mid 30s and have said there will be no way I'll be having babies in my 40s too!

If it's what you want you should go for it

threads like this make me feel broody , i have a 18 ,10 and nearly three year old and i am 41 . Although i know i really dont want another , part of me still feels sad that i wont have another , if you see what i mean

To be honest i had one in my early twenties , one in my early thirties and one in my late thirties , and i was knackered for the first year with all of them !

I was 38 when i had my first child, took four years of IVF! I'm divorced now but if i met someone who wanted a child i'd consider it and I'm 43 now!

Your body, your life, go for it! xx

I had my first at 37, second at 38 and 3rd at 41, it wasn't planned that way, but it took us 7 years to conceive.

I felt fit as a flea and 10 years younger in between dd2 and ds - hence why we decided to go for a 3rd. Ds has sn, and the last 2 years have been hard, emotionally and physically, and for the first 2 years I was averaging about 4 hours sleep a night. I do feel I have aged about 10 years since having him, and I have put on weight, and generally feel less fit. I also worry about being an older parent, as he gets older, because his future independence is more uncertain.

I'm 41 with 4dcs and would have another like a shot if dh were up for it.

I had my one and only DD when I was 42 and had a completely problem-free pregnancy with only a couple of bouts of morning sickness. I don't even have any stretchmarks and was the only mum out of 6 to give birth without an emergency caesarean when I was in hospital. So no problems with the pregnancy / birth side at all.

As for running around after a little one in my mid-forties, I can honestly say that it has mostly been fantastic, the hardest part has been trying to juggle childcare and work, but that's nothing to do with my age.

I don't look my age so am not worried about being 52 when my DD is 10, or even 62 when she is 20, as I intend to stay active and live a youthful life as long as I can. I feel I have a lot to give her in terms of life experience and accumulated wisdom (?), and am really glad I was still young free and single in my 30s so I could travel and get all that out of my system so I don't resent my comparative lack of freedom now.

I also have 2 friends who had their first DC at the age of 43, and one friend who had her first at 40 and her second at 42. All are absolutely fine.

So go for it, OP!

I was 36 when I had dd (now 16 months) and now ttc #2. DD took 2 years to conceive and we have been trying for 8 months so far for #2. It is a very personal choice as to when someone has a baby. Lots of factors add to how and when it happens. Personally if I had met DH earlier, had no issues conceiving etc etc all would have happened earlier. But having dd later has only made me appreciate her more and be in a more stable environment for her.

I had my first at 29, second at 41 and third at 45. Miscarried between two and three, which is statistically the most likely outcome at (then) 43, didn't make it any less devastating. However, fell pregnant easily with all three, carried and delivered without complications.

But - I'm absolutely, completely and totally fucking knackered

Added to which bastard pfb made me a granny in February!!!! (Delighted really)

MIL was 42 at birth of her one and only baby (single mum too! I'm in awe )

The only downside was that for years she thought that a) she wouldn't live to see her DS get married and b) would never ever be a granny.

She was at our wedding two years ago and became a granny aged 73 and was(is) over the moon .

There is a noticeable difference between my parents (early 60s) and MIL in terms of energy with our baby, but still, you don't always plan these things and as I said she's just thrilled to have been able to meet her grandchild (fingers crossed she'll still be around for the 2nd one in a year or two )

Personally having had mine in my late twenties, the thought of having a baby at 40 horrifies me! But each to their own and if it suits you then fine.

As others have said conceiving and keeping the pg was harder for many of them.

I'm not sure it?s for me - I'm coming up to 36 and Dh 38 but neither of us want to do anything permanent to close the door completely so who knows.

First line gone missing there which was - I know many older mothers and they are great and seem to be gnerally really enjoying motherhood.

my Dad was 50 when I was born. He was mistaken for my grandfather once, when he was in hospital, aged about 59. I very proudly and loudly said 'NO, he's my Dad'. I wanted the world to know he was my Dad. I loved him to bits. I would never have swapped him for a twenty something Dad. It was his age and his wisdom which made him the Dad I loved with all my heart.

I am 42 and had my 3rd DC in February. I don't feel old, I am loving being a mum again - other DC are 15 and 12. I am more into it this time and have definite PFB tendencies! Less stress, more stable. I would pop another one tomorrow if I could afford to give up work.

I am slightly wilder and madder now than I was in my 20s as all it was then was work, work and more work.

Ps DH is 53

autumn - that reminded me, when I was in hospital having DS a midwife said to my DH (who is younger than me ) - is it your first grandchild? .

I expect I will get taken for my DS's granny at some point (he is 3 and I am now 49, when I was 3 my grandmother would have been 44!). I really don't spend time worrying about that.

And as for being "too tired", there are many people in their 40s, 50s and 60s who do massively tiring jobs, like running the world, so can't see how that really factors in. I am in fact less tired than I was in my 20s (but I was a junior doctor then, so can't think of anything more tiring than that: in the days before the European Working Time Directive!).

I was taken for DS's granny at an amusement park a year or so ago. My sister is a granny to a DC the same age as DS and she's 3.5 years older than me so it's not a huge mistake to make.