to think that 40 years old is NOT too old to become a Mother, whether it is tbe first time or not?

[SoleSource]

I am 39 soon and would like to have another baby.

I fully expect to be taken for one of my kids' gran at some point , but am not worried by that - easy mistake to make. How come men who become fathers later in life don't worry about that? In fact it is considered proof of their continuing virility...

And again, would the potential embarrassement of being mistaken for a GM stop me from doing it all again? Nope.

I was really put out when I was mistaken for the kids grandma.

In this day and age with so many different situations you would think people would just think it,not say it!

It serves me right though for laughing so long and loud when DH had been mistaken for grandad previously

I'm 34 with 3 kids. DH wants 5 but I've said noooooo waaaay. However, I've given myself until I'm 40 to change my mind if I suddenly have to squeeze out a 4th. I'd never think twice about it being too old.

FWIW my great grandmother had my gran at 44 and my great uncle at 46 and this was way back in the 1920s too!

YADNBU.

Has SoleSource been back or have we all scared her witless with all our encouragment ? Well, mostly encouragement.

:) I am still reading and love every single post. But... Warning graphic..

Since I started tis I have had amenopause scare. Blood inbetween period, only a bit but never before for me. I hope it is not.

Had mine at 43 and 47.

OP, I had DD1 when I was aged 34 and DD2 when aged 37. In total I have had 6 miscarriages. That is painful and is really another story.

I had DS in June 2011; after a natural conception and a non eventful pregnancy. I was 44. I feel very fortunate. In fact, though I am tired - and a stone heavier than I was - I am healthy. The birth of DS has motivated me and I have more energy than before.

I don't suggest that this would be right for anyone else. But it has worked for us. Every person and every family is different.

I wish you all the best.

Another old one here. I'm 51 in two weeks and have an eight year old.

Oh, SS, flip, sorry to hear that! Get yourself checked out.

FWIW, I had all my MCs (x4) before I was 40.

Oh and I know I shall be nearly 50 when DS starts school. But hey, I'm a loving and (reasonably) energetic mother. I am sure other children have had to cope with worse.

I had my only child this year at 43 and 9 months, naturally conceived after three miscarriages so nope, 40 isn't too old.

Ooh nelly how lovely :)

There are many different reasons for bleeding between periods Sole but I never would have considered the menopause if it was me.

It's probably nothing but get thee to the Docs just in case.

To be fair, I would not have chosen to have my first child at almost 40 and another one 2 years later. We started trying to get preg when i was in my early 20's and coming from an extremely fertile family (5 sisters, 13 nieces/nephews), it never even crossed my mind that I wouldn;t be able to.

My oldest sister is 53, I am 52 and the youngest of the 6 of us is 45 - they all are now enjoying a much more relaxed pace of life both emotionally and financially because their children are all in their 20's and 30's (and they have 14 children of their own now) whilst I am now on school runs and sports clubs because mine are 11 & 13.

But I had no choice! We had given up trying for a family at all and were gobsmacked a bit shell shocked when we found out I was pregnant. Having said all that, I have no less energy than all my "mum" friends who are much younger than me and DH is way way more involved and active than many dads 20 years younger than him (he is just approaching 60).

But yes, I have been mistaken for "grandma" but since my younger sisters already are grandmas I suppose thats not too surprising really

Sole, when I found out I was pg with ds, I was convinced I was starting the menopause, I was having night sweats, had had irregular periods for months, headaches etc. I am also supposed to have an early menopause having been on a particular combination of chemotherapy, one of the side effects of which is early menopause. I went to the dr to ask for a test to see whether it was the menopause, and came out having found out I was pg with ds!

When I've talked to me nan and her mates about (who are in their 80s) this they (and my mum actually remembers this too, she's 63) they have said that pre birth control it was common for women to continue having children well into their forties.

Since birth control came in we've constricted ourselves to a very narrow vision of when we 'should' or 'shouldn't' be having children. Perfectly natural ages to have children are being labelled too old or too young.

Personally I think everybody with an opinion should cock off, because as long as the child is loved and cared for that's the important thing.

I second Worra - go to a doctor Sole. I had that, and it turned out to be pregnancy related. Could be any number of things.

Thank you everyone :) I shall go to the Dr. I am overdue a smear. took 40 minutesTt as I have tilted pelvis.

:) hazey

Bridget - love your last line .

I've got two perspectives.

The first one derives from observing some family friends when I was 12; the mum was 50, the only child (DD) was 10 and the dad was nearer to 60. She was the oldest child I'd ever met, acutely conscious that she had to keep the noise down, play tidily and be polite. Her dad seemed like a grumpy old man to me - her mum did seem more flexible but still a bit stricter on the above points than 'younger' families we knew. I always felt a bit sorry for her tbh - her parents seemed to forget that she was just a kid and not a little adult.
I guess that could be any parent at any age though.

OTOH one of my good friends had her first at 40, is loving it and would happily have another one. She seems as fit and active as me not that that's hard at 30, so no discrepancy there!

So to summarise op, no it's probably not too old. Can't say I'd want to do it myself though!

I had DS at 40. He is now 10. Never looked back. Can't run as fast as young mums. Have lots of stuff to say that wouldn't have 20 years ago. And best of all I don't give a toss what anyone thinks!

Hi tiger.

Is your DS ever teased at school for having 'an older Mum?

I had DD1 at 40, DD2 at 43. I'd love more and feeling very broody even with a 11mo but we just would not be able to afford it. I also feel blessed with my two DDs and feel I'd be pushing my luck trying for another.

DD1 - loved my pregnancy, DD2, was so tired I would be silently in tears as to how I'd get through the day, but then DP was working all hours and we have zero help.

I still say say go for it and I'd do it all again and again if I could.

PS, am a child of an older mum, she had me at 43! And that was the 1960s!

SoleSource, if kids at school want to tease about something they will find something to tease about, be it the age of their parents, being ginger, being a bit chubby, being short, having glasses, etc, etc.

But you wouldn't decide not to have a baby because it was ginger or would wear glasses or be short and teased for that would you? So I don't see why you should let teasing about your age worry you.