to think that banning the use of the word "God" is a bit much?

[MiniMonty]

Need the opinions of many women and Mothers here...
The wife has suddenly stated that she is "offended" by our three kids (and me) saying "oh God" or "God in heaven" or "for God's sake" etc as she has recently become a bit God Squad and rediscovered her Christianity.

Caused a huge row over the kitchen table three nights ago and it rumbles on with wife being pretty committed to the idea that no one should be allowed to say "Oh God" or "for God's sake" etc.,

My view is that this is unreasonable (and a bit silly) and even if you take it seriously in terms of not offending peoples' religious ideas - still a bit silly.

Am I wrong?

It's been rumbling on for three days and nights now and I need something...

All and any cast iron responses to the religious bullying very much appreciated.

I think the OP is a complete knob, who should have more respect for his wife and set a better example to his children. I'm sure your local vicar would be more than happy to pop round and help you out if you need some advice!

Isn't that what I said? Oh, OK then.

I keep getting told off on here lately.

"In my opinion this op's posts are the sort of thing that only a complete knob who has no respect for his wife and is setting a bad example to his children would write"

Seeing as you put it so eloquently ^^this

Yabu, and sound a bit patronising tbh.

There are words that I will not tolerate at home, dh knows this, thinks I overreact but respects me and my wishes. This is no different.

I wonder if the OP isn't just a bit upset and exasperated that his wife has turned into a superstitious nutjob. I am single and happily so, but were I dating anyone, 'getting religion' would be an immediate dumping offence. Partly because believing in gods is by definition ludicrous and I couldn't possibly have any respect or sexual desire for anyone who did, and more importantly because people who suddenly get superstitious in adult life always do so in an unhealthy, aggressive, harassing-of-others fashion.

SGB - he says 'rediscovered'. Not 'converted out of the blue'. FWIW.

There seem to be a spate of men using mn to whinge about their wives at the moment. I wouldn't have thought this was the obvious forum, tbh. Op, is your dw a mner?

I'm seriously impressed that SolidGoldBrass has managed to meet every single person on the planet who has got "superstitious" in adult life, AND has managed to assess each of them thoroughly, independently and in such compelling detail. Wow. Just wow. No wonder you're single - you can't possibly have time for a relationship with all that going on. Kudos to you!

That's true, Blame. I can't imagine my dh logging onto the computer, registering on mn and starting a thread in aibu after one of our disagreements.

Fwiw, I think you are bu, op. It's downright disrespectful that you refer to your wife as being 'a bit God Squad' after rediscovering religion. I think that if blasphemy offends her then you ought to try to use different words to voice your dissatisfaction.

Is it any different to someone swearing like a trooper before having children, then stopping after children and requesting that others refrain from swearing too? I don't believe that anyone would be upset by that request.

Sorry, but if "The Wife" (yuk) finds it offensive then why can't you just stop saying it?

There are plenty of other ways to express whatever you're trying to express.

The equivalent may be someone really not appreciating hearing the word "fuck" all the time - they would be well within their rights to ask people to stop saying it. You sound extremely dismissive of this simply based on your wife's religion rather than the fact that she doesn't like the swear words you're using.

I don't think you should be expected to change just because your wife has rediscovered religion. As others have said, you don't believe in it. The problem with people using arguments like 'it's in the Bible so we know it's wrong' is that atheists just don't believe that the Bible is/means what Christians think it does.

I do see merit to the argument that it's a small thing to keep her happy but I would personally resent being asked not to say something, and would also find it difficult if my DH became religious. For me, it would be more about that being imposed on me than just being asked not to say something.

I agree that it's not great to hear kids saying it, but just in the same way that any swearing from kids isn't ideal. And that 'the wife' is abut patronising!

There may be a bit more to why the OP and his wife are making such a mountain out of a molehill.

The problem arises because she now sees 'God' as a real person who she is in some sort of relationship with. He either doesn't believe or doesn't care ...but nonethereless maybe there is an undercurrent of jealousy going on here. She's defending the 'other man' from his disrespect. (Maybe, or maybe they're both just being a bit knobbish and I'm overanalysing)

How can OP be jealous of someone he doesn't even believe in? It would be like my DH being jealous of the lifelong crush I've had on Fatty from Enid Blyton's Five Find-Outers and Dog books!

I'm religious and I find it offensive, but I mostly keep my mouth shut. Family and friends don't say it in front of me as they know it offends me and they care enough to change it for my benefit. Tbh though, i wouldn't have a problem with anyone asking me not to say something which they found offensive, that's the whole point of being in polite society surely? That we all modify our behaviour to a certain degree to avoid upsetting others?

"people who suddenly get superstitious in adult life always do so in an unhealthy, aggressive, harassing-of-others fashion."

Well that's the ones who make themselves obvious, anyway. You wouldn't notice the ones who kept it to themselves!

"That we all modify our behaviour to a certain degree to avoid upsetting others?"

I agree rogersmellyonthetelly. If someone used negative terms for, say, an overweight person (like me!), I'm sure we'd all agree they should be asked to stop saying things which could offend.

OK... Thanks for all the responses.

1. on the issue "the Wife".. For goodness sake - don't any of you (who complained) ever use (or have fun with) a nickname for your sweetheart / other half / partner?
   GET OVER IT... "The Wife" means "My Wife" who is my lover and my sweetheart, my other half in the best possible way, the Mother of my children who I will kill or die for and the only woman I will ever put first.
   "The Wife" is a pretty awesome and shocking person who I love and respect.
   I wouldn't and couldn't use her name here - so it's easy and best to simply say "The Wife". Anyone still got a problem with it?
   Grow up... It's a POST feminist world.

2. I'm honestly surprised by the number of people who signed up to the idea that curbing anyone's free speech in order to be polite to Christians is OK.

OH MY GOD - we might be allowing a minority to set the agenda !!!

Ho Hum....

I say this all the time. Because its either this or "oh for fuck sake". Which more people than just one group of people that share an imaginary friend religious group find offensive, especially around children.

I don't even succeed in saying "oh for God's sake" all the time, and OFFS slips out now and then. Trying to change it again is even less likely to stick.

And tbh, none if my DC's would 'get' why this is offensive - it's just saying the made up name of a made up storybook character to them.

It would be no different them saying oh for Frodo's sake.

God and Frodo, both characters in books as far as my DC's are concerned. So how can saying the name of a story character be offensive?

There are people out there that believe that leprechauns exist. Would it be offensive to them if you said "Oh for leprechaun's sake"?

Oh rediscovering religion. That's basically 'Hello, I have failed as a fully functioning adult, so now I'm going to get out my imaginary friend every time I want to shout S'NOT FAAAAIR at other people.

at SGB. There's that open mindedness we all know and love! :o

It really doesn't bother me, as a religious person, I just think it's trashy when children say it. And I don't say it, because I try not to break the commandments.

TBH though I think it's quite a small thing, and it's not like she's asking you to believe or be a church goer, is it?

I know a woman who absolutely does not censor her speech in anyway. She's a total straight shooter, says exactly what she's thinking all the time. Constantly shares her opinion on everyone's religion, parenting, clothing, etc, etc.

No one can stand her and she is honestly baffled as to why.

Sometimes it's just easier and more pleasant all around to just STFU.