to think that banning the use of the word "God" is a bit much?

[MiniMonty]

Need the opinions of many women and Mothers here...
The wife has suddenly stated that she is "offended" by our three kids (and me) saying "oh God" or "God in heaven" or "for God's sake" etc as she has recently become a bit God Squad and rediscovered her Christianity.

Caused a huge row over the kitchen table three nights ago and it rumbles on with wife being pretty committed to the idea that no one should be allowed to say "Oh God" or "for God's sake" etc.,

My view is that this is unreasonable (and a bit silly) and even if you take it seriously in terms of not offending peoples' religious ideas - still a bit silly.

Am I wrong?

It's been rumbling on for three days and nights now and I need something...

All and any cast iron responses to the religious bullying very much appreciated.

SHE has re/discovered her faith, not you and the DCs. Therefore she should be concerned with what comes out of her mouth not yours.

Her soul not yours.

I loathe blasphemy, particularly the JC which seems to emanate from so many mouths these days. Whether he existed or not, it seems strange that this man alone has had his name turned into a swear word.

I believe in him and therefore find the blasphemy quite disturbing, not so much offended. The OMG that has permeated our culture is horrible.

These are my views. Also just because you feel this way, does not mean you are "Godsquad" or a religious nutter.

Incidentally I have never heard a Muslim blaspheme their prophets name or the name of Jesus Christ.

I don't think that that ,just because SHE has changed, she can expect her husband to change too. I don't think that she has that right. I wouldn't expect my husband to change for me. I personally think that is unfair. I don't know about "respecting her" , more like not respecting that she expects someone to change the habits of a lifetime for her.
Not that it is likely to happen in our house,and I'm not going to suddenly stop saying the God word anytime soon.

The commandments are for Christians - so not taking His name is vain - is a direction to Christians. Non Christians are and should be free to do as they please.

It would be 'oh my god' (no capital G) when a non Christian says OMg anyway, as they do not know and are not in relationship with the God the Christian or other religious people are in relationship with.

Lots of people capitalize God as a proper noun.

But anyway ... surely all of us do things we don't care much about in order to avoid upsetting our spouses/families?

DH hates the sound when I grind my teeth, should I tell him they're my teeth and he has to lump it, or should I occasionally show him a bit of consideration.

From this woman's point of view, something she holds dear is being used as a swearword, and that's nasty whatever your view on religion is.

You sound dismissive of her (the wife!), and dismissive of her views (a bit silly... a bit God Squad). Do you think she is less important than you?

I guess you are right LRD, with regard to OP's situation.

My points are more general.

I was rushing in that last message OP
I think just point out that she's the one who has changed,not you,and she shouldn't expect you to stop ,though (I imagine) you will try,but you're not making any promises.

Hope that helps.

Oh, sure, I was just commenting on two separate issues at once (the capitalization and the general attitude stuff).

I've got to say, the 'in a relationship with God' bit makes me cringe to buggery. Very few Christians I care to know like to describe it that way.

Wow, what a wonderful range of positive replies, you have given me a very happy start to my day. Thank you

OP, please give your wife more respect. Thank you

Why do you 'need the opinions of many women and mothers here'? To undermine your wife's views?

Are the feelings and desires of your own wife in her own home not important to you?

Are you always so extremely patronising to her?

'The wife', 'a bit God squad', her views are 'very silly'???

You call her asking for her opinion to be respected 'religious bullying' when it sounds like you are the bully...how dare she have an opinion, hey?

I can see why she might need to turn to prayer.

@LRD 'cringe to buggery' love it!

I was not allowed to say this growing up. (When I was very small, I also wasn't allowed to say "dumb" or "stupid" I thought these were actual swear words to give you some perspective.) I started saying it maybe in university, and I say it now, but I still find it offensive to hear little children talking that way. So I will have to stop saying it around DD! So, it depends on how old your children are whether it's reasonable to try to control this.

If it is offending your wife then I think it would be kind and show that you care, if you could try to moderate your language.

However, it sounds like there is more going on than just her considering your use of language to be blasphemy. Are you bothered about other changes that are happening as she "rediscovers" her Christianity? Sometimes people do get quite evangelical and a bit fundamentalist when they become religious, but it usually settles down after a year or two.

I hate hearing children saying "oh god" or any of the other "god" phrases. And I am an atheist. I just think it sounds unpleasant and I see no reason to potentially offend someone unintentionally. If you're going to offend someone, do it on purpose.

As, presumably, the OP is doing with his choice of language..........

Of course your wife is wrong if she thinks no-one should be allowed to say 'Oh God' etc. People should be allowed free speech.

But you're wrong to choose to carry on doing something that upsets her. If we have free speech, we have the duty to use it responsibly.

Pick your battles - this one isn't worth fighting. You'll get further in debating religion with her (if you want to do that) if you try to avoid petty annoyance like this.

Hello MiniMonty!

I got told off by a neighbour's 4 yr old for saying ''oh my god'' - it was hilarious really because he's actually quite naughty :)

Me: ''Oh My God!'' (as cat nearly trips me up)
Brat: (racing over onto my driveway to harass my cat) ''We don't say 'Oh My Gods'.''
Me: ''um, really.. who cares get lost ''
Brat: ''What do we say instead of 'Oh my Gods'? You got to guess.''

He would not disappear until i reeled off a list of possible words starting with 'G' to replace ''God'' (& of course, the first word i'd said - ''oh my goodness'' turned out to be correct).
Then he started running round my driveway, shouting (poor cat vanished).

So... it could be worse.

Also saying ''the wife'' is ok, better than most men i know who say ''the missus'' or another neighbour who calls me ''that bird'' - now that's annoying! :)

YABU for saying "the wife".

Don't get the issue with him saying 'the wife' at all.

I say the toodler. I have also said the fella.

She is his wife so if he wants to say the wife go ahead. People say worse when they are on about their husband's!

The god thing doesn't bother me. I say shit like Jesus Christ and holy Jesus Mary and Joseph a lot. I do think you need to listen to your wife though if that's what she wants

The toddler**

Sometimes when i say ''Oh my God'' or ''for God's sake!!'' i'm actually thinking ''God (as in actual God) you are annoying causing this to happen; do your job properly & sort it out!!''

That's not blasphemy really; just expressing my annoyance at God, the world etc. (And it's definitely not blasphemy in any religion to get annoyed with God for not doing his job properly).

That's what you could tell your wife, Monty but she may be at the 'woo 'born-again Christian' stage of thinking 'God has a reason & purpose for everything' - which is BS i think - but then i am a cynic & think God isn't all caring at all.

She can't suddenly ban you from saying words you've always said just because she's decided she's 'rediscovered' God.

I don't like kids saying 'Oh God' really, there's no need imo. We have some very religious friends and I have always told ds that it's best not to get into the habit of saying anything flippantly at the risk of offending. When he is older he can swear his head off like his mum!

I would respect her wishes and switch to 'Oh, for fuck's sake'. And maybe 'Oh, for goodness sake' for the kids.